Looking for advice on how to better be firm in saying no to exclusivity when a girl starts pushing for it.
This is something I’ve struggled with in past (ability to say no firmly to exclusivity) and generally just opted to say sure and just cheat. This is an aspect I’d like to improve on.
Any advice on how to navigate this better?
In some sense like yeah I know you’re supposed to just stand on business and say some schpeel amongst the lines of “I’m not looking for anything serious rn/im about to be moving anyways/etc” and be stoic in the sense of being okay with whatever the outcome is (plates break one way or another). I guess just looking for additional input.
It is pretty self explanatory reading it on the sidebar/in comments, but at least in my experience it has often been a lot easier said than done.
Thanks all in advance.
First-light 2 15h ago
3 months is not that long. Cheating might be lower risk than having "the talk" that could go either way. Every week you get away with cheating you have less to lose as you have less weeks of plate life left anyway.
You are not risking too much either way. You have spares and nothing is going to last long. The question is how good are you at cheating? It still involves creating boundaries in your life for the women.
Whatever you do, remember to enjoy the women. Sometimes one can get so caught up with keeping things spinning that one misses half the available fun.
financehardo420 LARPer 2h ago
Hear what you’re saying. Luckily I’m in a pretty sizeable city and my building is pretty A1 at preventing unwanted/uninvited guests so… it’d be pretty hard for any of them to catch me red handed. Due to my role, I have a great excuse in just about any scenario of “sorry had a late night in the office and I just knocked tf out when I got home”
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 11h ago
I strongly recommend the book "When I Say No I Feel Guilty" by Dr. Manuel Smith. Great assertiveness guide, and on the MRP sidebar and should be on ours too.
As for navigating her push for this stuff, that's really up to you. What do you want?
financehardo420 LARPer 4h ago
I’ll be sure to check it out over the weekend appreciate it man.
I mean in a perfect world I’d like to keep the roto going without any disruptions
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 4h ago
You have to keep in mind that women are still people with their own wants, etc. If your wants conflict, it frequently means "goodbye". That's just how it is.
And if you lie to them and/or string them along, frequently that shit comes back to bite you.
financehardo420 LARPer 2h ago
Yeahhh that’s the part I don’t enjoy/am trying to avoid
mattyanon Admin 10h ago
haha..... exclusivity will kill her sex drive, not increase it.
financehardo420 LARPer 19m ago
Question on that topic. I wouldn’t be like giving her access to my apartment or anything by any means. But my work hours can be unpredictable; ie may cancel last minute or straight up leave mid session/date. Would that in theory kinda work to negate that?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 8h ago
Ffs man I'm giving LARPer back to you, this isn't a place for you to drop your 50th humblebrag
Graduate from tutorial island already
financehardo420 LARPer 4h ago
First post in like a year+ aaaand larper tag
Vermillion-Rx Admin 33m ago
Wow, a year + to work on yourself after all these "HAWT birdies" you regularly spin and yet you are in the same place as before somehow
After years on here
What a convincing argument for lack of growth
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 4h ago
It does read like a humblebrag, now that I'm more wide awake than I was when I first read it.
I mean, you'll be moving away soon. So what if you go a few weeks (or God forbid, months!) without sex. It seems like you just wanted to flex that you're fucking 3 chicks concurrently. So what? Lots of us have done similar.
When you can let them go because you know there'll be others: that's more brag-worthy.
financehardo420 LARPer 2h ago
Ok I’ll edit post.
I’m not looking to brag I’m just outlining the dynamics. I don’t seek attention/validation irl why would I waste my time on a forum I haven’t even been active on to seek validation from ppl I don’t even interact with irl. Whole entire premise is absolutely ratarded.
Whole point of post = seeking advice on ig how to better mentally approach that state you mentioned of being able to let them go bc you know there’ll be others. In theory, when you read it on a comment/in sidebar like oh duh. Abundance mindset = “sorry babe I’m not looking for anything serious right now. I enjoy the time we spend but if that’s not enough like there’s the door”. A lot easier said than done; in my opinion/experience hence the question.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 8h ago
lol
Vermillion-Rx Admin 7h ago
@financehardo420 you already know the answer to this question, you just want to flex and get affirmation before you crumble like a cheap suit
financehardo420 LARPer 4h ago
If you read carefully I said “ On the other hand, this is something I’ve struggled with in past (ability to say no firmly to exclusivity) and generally just opted to say sure and just cheat.” And am asking for “advice on how to navigate this better/additional input”.
Made my post pretty short and to the point w a layout of current dynamics. Not trying to larp brah
Vermillion-Rx Admin 34m ago
I don't care
This is every damn post you make
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 7h ago
What kind of clothes are you wearing?!
Vermillion-Rx Admin 35m ago
Tis a metaphor, except it should be "fold" not crumble
financehardo420 LARPer 4h ago
Expensiveish suits for work, fitted t shirts + lulu pants for casual typically. Quarter zips shit like that
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 4h ago
lmao I was making fun of Vermy for saying "crumble like a cheap suit"
financehardo420 LARPer 2h ago
That one went right over my head