Hey OP, glad to hear you have a nice LTR going! I’m 30M, so I haven’t reached the stage where too many of my people have kids.

I’m assuming she is your age or younger, so she really has little to no past before you. Which is good.

I’d say, first and foremost, that you should NEVER change your life plan for your LTR, especially when you are young. Every one of my guy friends who did that for their GFs ended up broken up within a year at most, but altered their life permanently. You are also too young to get too committed with anyone. You are only 22 and have your whole career/life/other women ahead of you.

What I find in general dating/fucking a particular woman, is that the longer you are with the same girl, the less fun it becomes over time, and the more work it becomes. Imagine you meet a girl who is 22, and you follow the timeline below, committing more at each stage because you enjoy being with her. All rough numbers.

First month, just started fucking her: casual sex with no major strings attached. You might have to take her on a date once a week too, but that actually might be fun! Maximum fun, with minimal duties. You are making off like a bandit here!

First 6-12 months, FWB phase: if she is pleasant enough, you start investing in her, spending time doing more than just fucking. Not every interaction ends sexual, but hopefully you still enjoy her company. Still pretty minimum work for a lot of fun if you like her.

1 year in: she probably has demanded (and gotten) your commitment. At this point, you hopefully still fuck a lot and enjoy her company. But now there are rules. You can’t just go around fucking other women as much as you want. You need to know her birthday, get her stuff for Christmas, etc. You might need to hang out with her friends sometimes, even if you don’t like them. Same with family. At this point, it’s also likely sex with her is less spontaneous, and denial of sex may begin to happen. There is also more of an expectation to take her cool places for dates, and perhaps to pay for them. Still probably fun, as you are doing cool shit with her, but now you are putting in solid effort too. A fair balance.

3 years in: You are very committed, might even be living with each other. At this point, you are well out of the honeymoon phase. Without excellent game, sex has definitely gotten less frequent, and you might even be bored of fucking her. To make matters worse, she is now 3 years older, so less hot and perhaps she has gained some weight. She doesn’t need to keep up her appearance, as she already has you. You might also be living with her, and splitting bills, or paying most of them. You can’t just go out for a day to hang out with the boys, without telling her, so your freedom is reduced. The fun with her has become routine, and your duties and work are growing.

5-7 years in: you’ve gotten married or are about to. At this point she is definitely not as hot, you are almost for sure not having as much hot sex, and the obligations are growing. Now she will be expecting an expensive wedding, anniversaries, and maybe even kids, all of which you will have to pay for mostly. You probably aren’t going out with your boys anymore. It’s a lot of work to raise a family and make money. You probably aren’t having as much fun with her as you did before. That’s for both sex or doing cool shit together.

Years into the marriage: she is now definitely fatter and less hot. Very likely you have a dead bedroom. You have kid(s) now, so you can’t just leave. You need to pay for more stuff. Definitely no freedom, and almost impossible to game other chicks and bring them back to the house, since your wife lives there too. Now you have a lot of bills, a lot of work, and you can’t escape without fucking over your children. Low fun, high level of duties and work.

End of marriage: divorce, half your shit gone, child support/alimony. You definitely aren’t fucking her anymore. Entirely obligations, no fun at all.

Your relationship might not progress exactly like this, but there is a general pattern. It’s that each stage of committing to a woman is nearly always less beneficial to you than the previous stage.

The depressing conclusion to this is that in almost all cases, your best days with a particular woman have almost for sure already passed you by. The future for your relationship is nearly always less sex/fun and more work/bills. That’s why so many men (rationally) avoid commitment.

As for you OP, unless you are planning on having kids soon, I wouldn’t try too hard to keep your GF in your life. It’s been a good run, and almost for sure won’t get better. And note that this is NOT because she is a bad person or wants to get fat. It’s just the natural progression of a LTR.

Simple. You go where you want to go, and trust me, if your leadership is strong enough, she'll follow.

If she's not onboard, or if she's having doubts, there's nothing you can do about it but leave her behind. You don't want to stay there and be unhappy, and you don't want to drag her away to place she'll be unhappy.

If she does go, just make sure you visit her parents every other Christmas.

I understand prenups do not work

I used to repeat that mantra a lot, but I've since been exposed to new information.

Attorney James Sexton has stated many times that in his well over 20 years of practicing divorce law in the state of NY, he has never seen a judge throw out a prenup. This is true whether it's one he (Sexton) drafted for his client years earlier, or one that he (Sexton) had tried to get thrown out on behalf of a client.

The downside being: this is NY state, and I doubt you'd want to live under their otherwise terrible local governments.

and all the issues surrounding marriage as well.

Good. It's pretty much all responsibility with no upside for men.

As far as should you stay or go, only you can answer that. I'll tell you this, though: If you change your plans and give up your dreams/goals for a woman, in a cruel twist of women's nature she will lose attraction to you.

I feel like I would be giving up a lot of time and experiences staying here the next few years solely because of my LTR. I wouldn't be losing much career-wise. Going forward with the move would mean cutting my current relationship off.

Ok, brutal truth time.

Your girlfriend / LTR is a transient thing. It's good while it's good, but it's not going to be good forever.

Most relationships end. People change. Women increase their demands as their sexual value goes down. Women cheat, and women end relationships with good men on a whim.

I'm weighing my options and it seems like I'm giving up a great option for LTR and kids/family.

If you stick with her, you're trying to live the 1950's life of monogamy, stability, 2 kids, faithful wife.

Sorry to tell you, but that ship sailed in the 1990's. Urbanisation and feminism destroyed it.

You can have kids and you can have relationships, but that "faithful happy wife and 2 kids and a house and a car and everyone loves each other" was formed around the old notion of marriage and respect for men.

The new regime is one where the woman has complete power and the man has no options, is financially destroyed, and forgets what sex even means.

I don't know what the best model is for you and your life, but I know that the old ways are gone. If you marry her, you'll get the same shit every other man gets. Not straight away. Not in the first 6 months. But gradually, creepingly, your live will morph into the same desperate sexless shit that every other man gets.

It's almost impossible for young men to understand that their innocent young bride can turn into the monsters their forefathers are stuck with, but if you can accept this into your core then you will have a much better life, especially in later years.

That is my ultimate goal, I know this is a long ways off but I don't see myself spinning plates at age 35 and above.

Yeah, I hear you. But marriage / monogamy and "sharing a house with non-wife and children" will see you in the same shitty position as all the rest of them.

The only solution to maintain respect and attraction is to maintain control. Control over yourself, your life, your finances, your sexuality and your options. Marriage / monogamy / kids and the state will all erose control over your life and your finances down to almost zero, and attraction and respect go with it.

I don't have complete solutions for you. Noone wants to walk away from their kids, and women will exploit anything and everything that they can.

No oneitis, I've been with a handful of other girls. It is rare to have a girl with a known history, comes from a good family, and isn't completely brainwashed by the current society.

yes

I'm against marriage for the most part

GOOD

and would only do so if I could protect my assets 100%, i.e. completely separate from the state in a state without common-law.

The only 100% guarantee is to not get married. Prenups get thrown out all the time.

I understand prenups do not work and all the issues surrounding marriage as well.

good, but do be wary of all the other traps too.

I could certainly find another LTR like this later on and vet her properly,

Yes and no. Another LTR sure....... but if she's 22, she's had what..... maybe 5-10 guys that you know about. When you're 30 and your next girl is 30, it's not going to be the same story.

That being said...... at 28 you can easily date 22 again.

there would be more unknowns though. Looking for some honest input from older members that have seen similar situations play out.

You've got all the right thinking, except you're trying to make monogamy work. I think monogamy itself is fatally flawed: women just are not emotionally capable of it. Monogamy leads to exploitation of the man, and I just can't see any way round it or any exceptions.

22M

That's the age you are supposed to do this:

https://youtu.be/GPjVA1erqBU?si=XswEkgunyhGB98dR

am several SMV points above her.

I understand the situation with women in US is pretty fucked up, so a girl that is loyal is rare and has high value, but still, a discrepancy of more than 2 SMV points in favor of the man is hardly viable (and 2 is pushing it).