For context I've been recently reintroduced to the single life (saving that for another post). And I've been relearning all of this as I've gotten a bit rusty during a very long relationship.
I invited some guys to a party, aswell as a girl I've been seeing (non-excusive). With one guy I shared some details about my dating stuff to give him some examples as he's been single for a long time. I guess that was my biggest mistake.
So first thing we get to the party this guy says "I've heard so much about you" to the girl... I brushed it off and we went on to party. Then he loudly tells me she's so pretty.
At some point I go to the bathroom and I hear him say I'm such a good guy, I care for him and everyone. The girl should get with me and so on....
I take her back home and of notice the whole dynamic changed, she dried up, no more sex. She tells me the guy told me I really really liked her and I think she's extremely pretty. (He was projecting here, I never even said those things. She's cute sure but not the goddess he made her out to be at all) Aswell as details of us meeting...
Later I called my friend and he confirmed all she and he was only trying to help me, wtf. I didn't expect him to be this deep in nice guy land at all.
Guys is this salvageable? She now thinks I'm even worse of a nice guy then he is... I didn't expect a simp titanic event that would ruin my plate. And we're all 30+ ffs.
Obviously I'll keep my mouth shut to everyone and won't bring this dude anymore. I probably made more mistakes here too haha
EDIT: Maybe better suited for TheRedPill as an example what not to do... After writing this I see the answer. Don't tell anyone anything, don't try to help nice guy friends and don't bring them around your girls. My frame was bombed and she thinks he spilled the beans even if half of them were imaginary it won't matter if I try to explain. On to the next :)
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1d ago
Did you even attempt to tell her something like "did he really say all that" in utter disbelief written on your face and then laugh at him for wing manning for a girl you already had to her.
I think some very obvious cocky funny roasting his comments as ridiculous to her would have given a lot of clarity
Or did you just ignore it or even worse defensively defend it
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1d ago
PS, it's fine to be friends with this guy still, but never bring him around women you might want your dick near ever again
waybackmachine 1d ago
I didn't know all that he told her until he told me himself after I asked him next day. He was holding back some of what he told her also... I'll never know the full extent, they were talking for a while. In the moment I just ignored it as I only overheard a part.
Thanks if similar stuff happens I'll just go in roasting mode or shut it down earlier. All the girl needed was to make one doe-eyed face and he's spilling all my secrets lol.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1d ago
It's completely okay to throw your boys under the bus and it they are absolutely wrecking your shit you worked hard for, just make sure it's proportionate and appropriate for the situation and not overkill
I had to do that once because the chick was going to go nuclear socially and it was his chick. Saved me a lot of agony and she got turned on by my being unshaken
Some times you need to show a bro he's being a retard and that you won't take a fall for their dumb shit
Although in this case I would say he really didn't mean to but you could have still roasted (not that you knew better at the time)
GeorgeIII 1d ago
This is actually similar to a problem I’ve noticed with “friends” in my life the last few years. Essentially, most people are so BP and game-poor that they aren’t just ineffective wingmen, they are negative utility on that front.
Guy friends that have no game and are BP usually don’t believe that sowing your oats as a man is ethical. That’s before we ask if they even COULD do it themselves or help you do so as a wingman. They will hold you back if you are having success. And don’t even get me started on female “friends”. All these “friends”, even if they say they want to wingman for you, really have the interests of random women they don’t know at heart as well, so they really don’t want to help you get laid. They think it’s “wrong” for men to sleep around (but when women do it they are empowered, teehee). These people would have you turn a club slut into an GF. And again, that’s if they even have any game knowledge or ability in the first place. Someone like that, in my experience, can never help you as a wingman.
In my few years of my RP journey, I’ve improved a lot from my former 0 success self. And I’m still on the journey, not done at all. And one important thing I’ve noticed: every time I’ve managed to bang a chick, I’ve either gone out alone or with my 1 or 2 game-aware guy friends. Never some bumbling BP nice guy, and certainly never with a female “friends”. It has just literally never happened with a BP friend. Literally never, 0 times.
Conclusion: most people are BP and have the interests of random women at heart more than your own male interests, even so called friends. Therefore, you can’t rely on them to help you in any wingman position whatsoever. They are typically negative utility, and are a liability for gaming women. If you want a wingman, find someone who is game-savvy. Even if they don’t call it game, you will know these men when you see them behave out in the wild.
And one last thing OP: when it comes to talking game or women I’ve banged, I’ve learned to never share this info with the BPers, at least overtly. Know when to keep your mouth shut. If you want to talk field reports and game, keep it to non-BP friends. I never talk about my lays with BPers, as it simply doesn’t help me.
If you do want to share with BP friends, remember to only do so strategically. And remember, since BP people behave like women, communicate your success covertly, that will work much better like it does with literal women.
waybackmachine 1d ago
It's as you said, this turned into a massive liability indeed. Having no one there would have been better. It's not that I let my guard down, it's that I never had a guard to protect me from this angle. Seems I need one though, the damage done is greater then some random dudes trying to steal your girl... All I needed was some neutral, normal friends there... Luckily most of them are at least self aware enough to behave.
You're right! Now that I think about it most of my successes were either alone or with some more aware friends, sometimes bigger groups.
I got only one good wingman. However he only comes when we're both alone. To bring him was overkill in this case. In this case I just needed some friends but didn't think about the consequences.
You're right I broke the "protect your reputation" rule. I talked a lot with this guy to try to help him, my game is just mediocre but still miles ahead of his. There is no way to make him see, he doesn't want to. He wants to meet people without changing his views. The guy is in better shape then me physically, makes more money and he's smarter in many ways. I knew enough to not use "rp" or "game" terms luckily, I just shared some examples of my interactions but even that backfired...
Thanks I'll try to watch my words, thing is I've always worn my heart on my sleeve. I'm living in the moment and don't think much. Which is also part of what attracts women for me. Lately I've been focusing on quality over quantity of women, with decent success. But I need to fix the holes in my game. Situations like these are stupid ways to fuck up good things. There are some more holes somewhere I can't put my finger on yet, they may be more obvious to other people.
GeorgeIII 1d ago
To be clear, I also don’t think you massively fucked up. It’s more a problem with our mainstream BO society that guys are such suckers. Obviously you won’t talk shop with this guy again and you’ve learned your lesson. Your game is at least acceptable, otherwise you wouldn’t have gotten the girl in the first place.
Just gotta know who to associate with, and who not to. Who to talk real shit with, and who not to. And remember “normal” and “neutral” is to be BP and simp today. It is in fact us, here, who are not “normal” in 2026.
And I know it’s a tired trope, but still true: men don’t red pill men, women do. No explaining will ever change your friend. Only him getting burned by a dose of cuckholding will. You can’t coach the uncoachable.
master-of-losers 13h ago
Easy: Ignore the girl for a while, she'll realize you aren't as desperate for her as your friend made you seem and she'll come back.
waybackmachine 6h ago
She keeps pinging me but something in the dynamic changed. A few days after the party she cooked for me but again no sex. I'm getting more provider vibes now. It isn't based on desire anymore, I also got some conflicting talk that night. Like "I don't want casual sex anymore, I'm not ready for something serious either" and so on... Said she wants to find the "forever dude". But not at this point in her life. And much more contradictory stuff.
But yes I might ignore her for a while, I don't have any other solutions to this one after the niceguy titanic event. I'll hit the pause button on this and focus on others / new leads :) Thanks for the advice.