(I'm looking for general advice. Maybe there's a flaw in my mindset.)
I did research and just life experience. The average body count for a 25 year old woman is 3-5.
I'm pretty depressed hearing this tbh. Cause you know it's just gonna get higher. Not to mention most girls I see in a relationship act very sexual for attention. Bitchy behavior.
Cold approach is a lone wolf fantasy imo. Outta approaching 100 women you get maybe 1-3 lays/success's. (if you're not retarded)
That's a lot of squeezing for a cup of juice. Maybe and just maybe they turn into a plate or a LTR.
You try to use social context to your advantage dating in ecosystems like Uni. or clubs. But then I feel like "DaT GuY". Cause I don't like being around people much it's a lot of bullshit. Guess get over it.
My thought process: Ideally you cold approach outside your ecosystems. And build slow leads inside your ecosystems to find a good prospect.
Online dating is a dumpster fire. Its not real life. People act very differently IRL. Most of the woman either all have the same generic profile or goth/liberal chick who wants me to have a tramp stamp. I switched my profile to be labeled as a woman for 5 mins and had 20 likes. ITS CRAZY.
But at the end of all the work it's the women your left with.
I don't trust women with marriage. And even in LTRs when you're not there they're flirting with other guys for attention. I've had good looking girls with decent guys give me sexual attention. I know its not cheating but if I saw my gal acting like that i'd be disgusted.
The problem:
So i'm left with casual dating women the rest of my life. No marriage. maybe have a LTR here and there but... It's gonna get harder and harder the older I get.
It's weird cold approaching in your late 30s and 40s and 50s. Im 20 so i can pass off as the young stupid guy.
How da hell do I keep this up? assuming i take care of my body to be physically attractive. Do I just end up single and alone around 40? Do I just give in a find a LTR at 40?
I'm just going be a normal guys who has his own place with generic normal salary. At some point i become 40 year old guy who's still single.
I'm uncertain of the future with todays modern landscape. Because alot of women are like scorpions and i'm playing frogger.
I feel that hollywood glamorizes the eternal bachelor lifestyle. I'm not a rich guy backed by the script. I'm a normal guy who dosen't trust the institution of marriage and the women i'd be signing it with. I feel my only option is to get lucky and find a good gal someday. But i'd really just be compromising. I feel extremely vulnerable when i'm committed to a woman.
How are you guys doing?
mattyanon Admin 3h ago
Yes, but you can fuck her multiple times. So if you approach 100 girls and fuck 3 of those girls 10 times each, that's one fuck per 3 approaches.
ok, so you hate social game
ok...
OLD is awful, yes
right
Marriage is a one sided providership contract to give her a cushy retirement at your expense.
right
It's certainly going to get harder to fuck 20 year olds after 45, yes
It's only weird because you make it weird
Well, it's easy at 40. It's harder at 50 for sure.
Well, your options are nothing, or keep it casual, or open long term relationships with multiple women (my preferred), or monogamy.
Your post though, amounts to "all my options suck".
And I feel you. We all feel you. But it reads like you are suddenly shocked that you're not going to marry a virgin and you are not going to get the 1940's horny housewife dream.
What does that leave....... well, choose from the above. Varying amounts of casual to monogamy, avoid marriage, and find fulfilment where you can in life.
money doesn't help
good.
stop being normal, start being amazing.
This is not going to happen until you make it happen.
You find a great girl by being a great guy AND LEARNING HOW TO DATE.
Even a great girl will shit test and play all the same shit. At least a little bit. She's not going to be impressed with your neo-virginal "waiting for miss right".
Right, and you really are.
Facing the same shit you are, except in my case I've accepted it more than you have.
WokeDown 1d ago
You’re kinda young to be worried this far out.
One of the things I knew early on is that I was disgusted by the simp crowd, those with lifelong regrets over a woman, and whipped husbands — which I vowed never to become.
It lost me opportunities (maybe?) but I’ve had my fill of short term relationships and LTRs and I wake up everyday thanking god I’m still free.
For every happy ending, there 100 guys with dead bedrooms, cheating wives, raising kids not theirs, slaving themselves to death, a woman that openly or secretly despises them, and a manner of unhappiness etc. I have known and seen this a thousand times over, the fairytale is just that.
Anyway, learn some basic stoicism, no matter the outcome, you can save yourself a lot of anxiety.
I will give you some tips. Your forever alone feeling is a product of evolution to get you to breed. It’s not there for your personal wellbeing, control this mind monkey. We know women is not a long term cure anyway, since they can and will leave.
Second, happy endings are temporary. No permanence in this world. Imagine if Top Gun stuck with Kelly McGillis?
Women are a product of their environment. We’re in a garbage culture with a garbage environment — so you understand the quality of women being pumped out?
Every era presents the men living in it unique challenges. This is ours.
Musicgoon78 3 1d ago
Brother, you're whole mindset is completely negative and wrong. If your mindset is negative, that will come across in your approaches.
First off, let's talk about "cold approaches". Cold approch is a spergs game. This might have worked 20 some odd years ago in the pickup artist days. You see, cold approch isn't attractive, it's intrusive. You are forcing your presence on someone instead of letting them decide that they like you. Your life and personality has to be very well put together with a cold approach attitude. I can tell by your post that it definitely isn't.
Go do fun shit that you enjoy. Talk to everyone without dependence on outcome. If you can't get people to like you or make friends, you're going to be single for a long time. A social guy that's out having fun is attractive to everyone.
I'm in my 40's. I have a live in girl and I also get constantly laid by new women. Your idea of being older and lonely is total bullshit. You're 20's aren't peak smv. That starts around 30 and can go until your mid 40's.
At 34, I was newly divorced, overweight, a dad and pretty much homeless for a while. I was getting laid like never before. The success was simply based on me not giving a fuck about the outcome and embracing my new freedom. It was a new lease on life.
So fix your attitude and go out and make friends of both genders. Your life will change considerably if you do this and stop overthinking things. Life can have it's rough moments, but is overall amazing!
Larrythelobster 23h ago
I agree cold approach is intrusive. A lone wolf fantasy.
Assume 40, It would be very hard to date younger women anymore without a lot of money. It would be age 30-40. Right? Cause it feels weird trying to date a 25 year old girl at 40 especially in a social ecosystem i frequent. Its gets more challenging to date as you get older.
But maybe if i'm in good shape, and living a good life, it can carry you far. And i know some women can be attractive in their 30s and 40s too. But it's rare.
Those are my insecurities.
Now excuse the autism but how exactly do you get dates by being more talkative?
I guess fitting into my life, i'm very introverted, It hurts to socialize a lot. I mainly frequent university, pretty easy, work together with other students. Help each other out. Maybe run into a gal
Once i'm out of uni im scared it's cold approach here on out. Only groups i would join is a boxing class. And all the guys flirting with the one girl there. And I don't like bars and nightclubs.
So how exactly?
I know im being a bit of a pussy with the introvert bullshit but it's true. Getting me-time makes me happy.
I'm not a bad guy but I don't have the life experience of an older bachelor. And i'm honestly in a little rough spot. uncertainty, i'm not familiar.
I'm in Uni and around very nice, smart women. If i was to find a LTR it would be here. Funny enough but true.
But they'll want marriage. I don't wanna die,...
Musicgoon78 3 23h ago
Did you read and retain any of the stuff I said? I suggested being less negative and you are already making negative and completely untrue assumptions.
At 40 I have zero problems pulling girls as young as 19. I'm not wealthy. And it's very very easy. You see, I have social skills.
If you lead with your money, be prepared to be taken advantage of. It's as simple as that.
It's rare that women in their 30's are attractive? Do you have eyeballs, or is your head planted so far up your ass that you can't see?
Most guys are too socially inept to see how being talkative can help you. If you can't make friends, you'll never get to experience attracting good women. The whole idea is a FWB. Most guys skip the friendship part and are vastly unsuccessful. That's what a girlfriend is.
I don't know what to tell you. You can be a miserable introverted prick if you want to be.
"I'm an introvert" is a weak excuse. And yes you're being a pussy. You obviously don't want a relationship or success.
Either you make changes, or get used to sad jerking off in your parent's basement.
Larrythelobster 22h ago
So you're telling me that getting women is just like getting friends....
absolutely ground breaking development here today cause I never heard anyone say it like that before. lmao.
Guys just think with their dick a lot, think my freudian dick shadow was blocking my prefrontal cortex. A lot of my negativity is insecurity as I keep trying to say. I'm not a negative guy just honest with myself.