Went on a date with a girl I met at a bar. Got drinks, paid for it. Went bar hopping. K-closed, kino, hand holding, etc. suggested to listen to music at her place because she lives alone. But she had her friend over so she said she can’t.
Now a week later I suggest a second date. This time cooking food at her place with some wine. She shit tests saying “hmm cooking where exactly”. I tell her at her place as long as she keeps her hands to herself.
She replies saying she doesn’t think we’re there yet. And it’s too early to invite me to her place.
Not sure if she’s interested in fucking but just takes a date or two more, or just uninterested and using me as a provider or for long term prospects.
Either way I’m planning to leave her on read or just a quick acknowledge message.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 6h ago
Even if she was. Just say you two aren't compatible and wish her well.
This is such a waste of time. You didn't give her tingles drop her and move on.
universitythrowaway 5h ago
Appreciate it. Trying to find the perfect balance of tingles and comfort because I’m trying to push for more plates and not ONS. Should have done more of that on the first date
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3h ago
No problem
Also I haven't seen a should I question in a few posts so flair removed, thank you
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3h ago
Uh....
No. Its more of a vibe not game or qualifications necessarily
Hard to explain. Having a great right vibe and fun is a lot more important than attraction/rapport concepts in my opinion
The right vibe will naturally increase attraction and rapport basically simultaneously
universitythrowaway 3h ago
Interesting. I notice that my vibe is like this with existing plates, kind of carefree and fun and teasing. Even with friends or female colleagues I flirt with.
I’m trying to achieve the same with girls on the first date (trying to be in the mindset as after you fuck the girl).
Any specifics you recommend for vibe?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2h ago
Definitely not giving a shit. Act like you already have them because you don't care
Tease, banter. Willing to subconsciously walk away
First-light 2 5h ago
"Hmm" and "exactly" are red flags in my opinion. They reek of superiority. They say that she is wondering whether to condescend to agreeing to be entertained by yet another so so quality thirsty male who is after her great hotness.
If she was polite or keen she would say "Oh where are you thinking of doing that?" If she then said "not ready yet", well, OK that's the deal with her, quit if you like but in this case she seems smug and superior and that suggests maybe she is to avoid.
Even if that is disregarded, there is still the fact that a woman who won't introduce you to her friends is not close to wanting you yet, (if there will be a yet).
universitythrowaway 5h ago
Thanks man. Seems like classic disinterest or playing hard to get. Going to go separate ways
GeorgeIII 1h ago
Others have already pointed out the low ioi stuff, but I’ve got something else here.
One other thing I noticed from your post: both after your date and later for cooking, you suggested her place. I see 2 issues with this.
1: Logistics. Even if her friend staying with her was a lie, she might just have a messy place or isn’t ready to have you over for some other reason.
2: Asking to go to her place for a 2nd date after she said no to you coming over before. You actually might still have been in the game. But you were done for sure once you asked the 2nd time. It makes you look too eager to go to her place, not enough plausible deniability, trying too hard to get in her bed, whatever.
See if you can figure out your logistics. She might just not have been ready for you to come to her place.