Me and my LTR have been together for years now and we have two toddlers 2 year old and a one year old.
My question is if Im handling this correctly. So what this girl would do is, all day when I'm off work and we’re home together what she would do is like tease me throughout the day and always “seed” that we’re gonna have sex later tonight when the kids go to sleep.
She’s always like this off and on but now its been a few weeks she’s been doing this. She would tease me all day, shake her ass, try and randomly make out with me, grab my dick etc.
Then as you guys can predict night time comes around 11:30 - 12 and we’re putting the kids to sleep and then immediately she would go “ohh I’m tired too and my head/stomach hurts” and she would just lay down on her phone.
The way I USED TO handle this was just playing around with her on the bed and eventually just pulling my dick out and we get to fucking etc, sometimes with a little roleplay like “ohh we cant do this etc” whatever she likes it and i really don’t two shits so I play along.
However whats starting to happen is that her excuses every night become less “roleplaying” and more like LMR if that makes sense. Like she’ll tease all day and then as its leading up she would start to roll out excuses maybe an hour or two before we’re supposed to fuck.
So how I'm handling this now is for the past two-three nights whenever she starts to roll out the excuses I dont react emotionally i just start doing my own thing. I just leave her on the bed by herself and go into our second bedroom and just chill until im sleepy and then i go back into our bed when she’s asleep and just sleep. And she tries to cuddle me but i don’t cuddle her (i give excuses for that too like Im not in the mood etc but not in a butthurt way)
Then the next day I just mind my Business play with the kids a little and just do my own thing basically and pay her no mind. Now she tries to tease me and come up to me and try to kiss me but i either turn her down in like a “what are you doing?” Kinda way or just give her a dry peck and immediately turn and back to what i was originally doing. She’s just been getting ansty constantly asking me whats wrong etc and daying that she didn’t do anything wrong and even asked me if its because “she fell asleep and we didn’t fuck” I just played it cool and and said nah im just relaxing etc
Plus Ive been doing daygame pickup (how i met her) so i know i can always get another girl.
My question to you guys is am I doing the right thing and if not what should I change?
EDIT: Forgot to add to my first point. When I escalate past her “excuses” and we do fuck she had this “ughh ok fine lets get it over with” attitude EVERY TIME WE FUCK. Which is why im just commited to ignoring her flat out now.
Musicgoon78 3 3d ago
Sounds like some low-key resentment is creeping in on this LTR.
Hears the deal bro. My girl and I have been together for 6 years. I make good money, but bust my fucking ass for it. I'm tired. When she escalates at 11 or midnight, it hard to be turned on. I'm nodding off at that point. Start fucking earlier.
You gotta stop this paying her no mind and this passive aggressive shit. It doesn't work. She wants a strong man, so tell her what you're thinking if she's disappointing you. It's your job to lead her.
Now here's what you need to try: game her a bit. Be flirty and fun. Send her dirty texts. Grab her back. And give her tasks.
Ex: "I want you to wear something sexy that I'll peel off of you later. There will be an inspection".
Give her something that is hard to ignore. A relationship is game on hard mode. You need to remember to game her. If she doesn't want to play anymore, start planning an exit. But first give the leadership a try.
MidgetSpinner 3d ago
☝???? This.
Take advantage of it sooner. Be a fucking man and take her when you feel like it. Don't wait till it's late. Take her.
First-light 2 3d ago
This is tricky. She likes your attention and the reassurance that you want her. She is upset when she doesn't get it. But she isn't giving you what you need.
Sometimes there are no hard and fast certs in dealing with issues in a couple. If what you are doing works long term, then its OK but if it isn't working, then its important to beware that escalation on sore issues can become a real problem for couples. "I am not giving in because you are not giving in" often leads to "OK since you are being unloving I am taking something else away" You can end up with little left that you are getting from her apart from work.
Don't let it become a sore issue. Be prepared to try different approaches. Talking about it gently when you are not frustrated probably won't fix it but if she can hold the conversation without getting cross and emotional that you started it, you might get closer to why she is doing it to start.
One thing to perhaps look at is that women tend to be receptive to escalation if they are being provocative. So I would just escalate and take her next time she is playing up to you. If she says "Oh no I don't want that and means it", then you can at least say "OK but why the mixed signals?" Your kids are small. If they are busy in another room or napping, just have her in the kitchen, on the sofa, wherever. If she gets worried "No No they might see, take her to the bedroom and do it under the covers. Your kids are too small to bust you and be traumatised by their parents rolling around under the covers. You can get away with it for a few more years yet if you just do it spooning under the covers.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 3d ago
@Musicgoon78 is right. Try for sex earlier. Grab a quickie while the kids are outside playing or doing homework.
Rian Stone talks about this a lot, as this is a common problem at MRP. check out his YouTube channel, especially his "mids watch" series and any video labeled "relationship breakdown".
First-light 2 3d ago
Mind rotting kids TV (that I suspect generally has zero educational value) can be surprising good for quickies. If they have their programs that they love, you know you are safe until you hear the closing theme tune. These days you can make a play list of them and spend longer. The trick is getting your lady to feel conspiratorial in going for a quickie, like you are both on a mission to get away with it, not like she is doing Beta a favour. If you can turn it into a complement on her hotness -like you just can't help it, it can help.
MrSupreme 3d ago
I agree, when I was married I tried to squeeze sex in times where she least expected it: we ordered a pizza, we fucked even while she was ordering it on the phone, we were going to receive guests, we fucked 20 minutes before they arrived while i complemented how well her dress looks.Stuff like that, It kept her very happy while it lasted, and kept her hooked in the final stages of the marriage.
There was no kids in the picture but we usually had little privacy being immigrants and living in shared apartments with other couples and busy schedules, so I had to do it whenever possible. Sex is always going to be important in any relationship,for both parts, and it is better to be aware of that instead of each one trying to get their fix using the other's body.
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mattyanon Admin 2d ago
First of all, this is unacceptable.
Stop playing along. Next time she flirts or tease, flatly say "your mouth is writing checks your ass can't cash", and ignore her any walk away. Don't keep giving her attention only for you to get nothing. Don't engage with it. Tell her once, verbally........ then Ignore her (I think you've been doing this, from what you say).
Good!
The fundamental issue is that she feels she's "got you" and she can act with impunity.
You always sleep at home, so she always knows she can do whatever she likes and you won't leave.
You need to find a way to disavow her of this notion.
Ok.
"Let's get it over with" means she has no sexual interest in you.
That's fine, that's her right.
And it's your right to find better options.
Sorry that this is fucking up your family life, but the reality is that women are not emotionally cut out for long term sexual relationships.
No-Stress-Cat 2d ago
Why are toddlers up at 11-12 at night? They should be in bed hours before that. When my kids were toddlers, I'd put them to bed around 8, so that me and the lady could unwind, relax a bit, fuck around, and then go to bed.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 1d ago
That didn't click to me when I first read this, probably because I don't have kids and haven't been one myself in a very long time.
But that is a good question. When I was a small child, my parents had me in bed by 8pm.
OP @Theolympicnomad - why are you letting the kids stay up so late? Why not put them to bed at a normal time for small children, then use some of the time between that and when you and the woman go to bed to smash?