I’ve recently jumped back into dating apps after a relationship, but I’m finding them highly addictive and overstimulating. Having cut out all social media, I’m likely more sensitive to the dopamine trap. The urge to check likes and matches multiple times a day is intense, and after a while, it feels like the mental haze of scrolling mindless brain rot Instagram Reels for too long.
I’ve tried app blockers to limit myself to 10-30 minutes a day, but it's not exactly a fool-proof solution.
I assume I am not the only one who finds an app which spits beautiful women at you addicting - what solutions have people come up with? And to those who are wise but have no need for the apps, what solutions can you theoretically propose?
cundardunfinished 1d ago
Go Fuck Ten (Other) Women
Bozza 2 1d ago
Eventually you'll get bored of it.
When you first join them it's quite the dopamine rush - swiping, getting matches, lining up multiple dates etc. But after about a month or so, the novelty begins to wear off.
Eventually it becomes quite tedious and more of a chore than anything else. Matching with women, having the same conversations over and over again, having to think of replies to messages, dealing with time wasters and over inflated egos etc.
Work out what days you are going to be swiping. On the apps, you have to strike while the iron is hot. There's no point swiping away and messaging with girls on a Monday, if you can't meet up with them until the weekend - most of those will fizzle out.
So work out what days you have available for dates, then start swiping 2 or 3 days before then. I usually swipe on Sundays, Mondays and Tuesdays in order to line up dates for Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.
Turn your notifications off so you don't have constant "You matched!" and "Sarah likes you!" pings throughout the day. Only go on it for a few hours in the evening. Swipe, answer messages. Check a few times.
Otherwise keep yourself busy with other shit -work, gym, hobbies, social activities.
Mountainman 4h ago
It really is a mindfuck reading that other dudes are so successful with dating apps that they get bored
Bozza 2 1h ago
SMV my friend. You have the knowledge, apply it like we did.
Mountainman 36m ago
The only difference I see between me and dudes who are ridiculously successful is that they pay experts to set up photo shoots. I have good photos that are candid but still not quality enough to be bombarded by women telling me how hot I am
MrSupreme 1d ago
I started using them recently after a long time without them, you'll grow out of that stage eventually. Don't give them too much credit bro, they're not like they used to be 4 years ago. Just have it as a side source for meeting women,don't count on them too much, don't stop aproaching in real life, cause those chicks are a different person in the apps.
Jackmoter 8h ago
Yeah, the apps can really distort your view of what women are really like. Hearing one of my female friends tell me stories about how she trolls men on hinge and has no interest in meeting them was very revealing.
MentORPHEUS Senior Endorsed 1d ago
Ditch the app blockers, and hone your self discipline.
Between the learning curve of using them more effectively thus improving your ratio of searching for/spending time with prospects, and the initial novelty wearing off, this "problem " becomes mostly self correcting. But do tighten that self discipline. ????
Jackmoter 8h ago
I am but a monkey who has been given a device filled with apps designed to be as addictive as possible.
But you're definitely right, it's hard to track your calories until your on a 10 day streak, it's hard to weigh yourself every morning until you're on a 10 day streak and it'll be hard to not be drawn to the flashy notifications and allure of beautiful women until you've denied those cravings for 10 days
Mountainman 4h ago
You can track calories day 1 wtf are you talking about lol. I doubt you’re attracting beautiful women either
throwaway415 1d ago
I wasn't really into dating apps for a long time but started using Tinder about half a year ago. ive had really great success with it. my advice is to just use your free swipes once a day, and check for matches the following day. no need to be on there for longer than 10 or 15 mins a day. you also dont really need to spend much time or energy on conversations with matches. I just make a little small talk, ask for their number, and proceed to logistics
mattyanon Admin 21h ago
Recognise that you are engaging in an illusion.
25 likes, 18 messages, 12 "I love you" and zero sex equals ..... wait for it....... ZERO SEX.
Learn not to be fooled by the algorithm and women tweaking your brain and judge purely by results that matter when you put your phone down.
Jackmoter 8h ago
Indeed, the algorithm rewards you for being picky, so you might as well pick those who have put effort in and are more likely to actually want to meet up.
I have a script that get's numbers from profiles with no effort, but they're never interested in meeting up anyway, so there is no point.
Musicgoon78 3 8h ago
The solution is to line up dates and start fucking women in real life. Also work more on your mission.
I would rather be fucking in real life than at home swiping.
joyboy 6h ago
Women in real life are literally all on dating apps though. It's literally t he most common way people meet, especially younger women
Mountainman 4h ago
But only 1% of 1% of men actually get dates with beautiful women. I’m not talking 5s or 6s I’m talking 8 and above. And if you saw that 1% of men who are successful, you wouldn’t find any correlation. Women just choose what they want at random, mostly to spite some other dude or to try a new flavor