Man, oh man. A question that directly pertains to the “awful shit” I’ve yet to elaborate on from the FWB I’m in the process of separating from in my most recent post. Buckle up.

Met this chick on an OLD app. We hooked up the 2nd date (1st she wanted to fuck in her car) and kept her as a less regular plate for the next year.

In that time, I found I actually enjoyed her company, we shared similar interests, and she loved being bossed around. Ideal, right?

Then I started teasing info out of her. I’m a personable guy, but it didn’t take much effort. Get a girl comfortable (after sex is best) and just ask questions. Answer them yourself first if she’s “shy”.

This girl had cheated on every guy she had been with. Every. Single. One. And to some degree rationalized every bit of it. “This guy broke a promise, and I fucked his best friend outside a strip club”

One ex she told me about was so pathetic (in her defense) no job, played video games all day, cried when she tried to leave, decided to be non binary, That she told me about literally coming home with cum on her face from a regular of hers and saying “Hi” to him. Then later texting the guy that put it there her bfs response. A sick part of her got off on this shit from doing it so much. This is just one example.

She has some past issues that were come by genuinely, but the moment she told me that, I decided she would never be anything more than a cum dumpster.

Still gets off on being heavily degraded during sex. Don’t try to save these girls. They don’t want it.

girl begged for bdsm and anal after our first hookup, she wanted me to be her first for anal. we did it later on, and she was love talking afterwards how i was so gentle, caring, interested in her body, etc. not like the first experience at all. OOPS. she caught herself and did a teary trauma dump. she (20 now) dated a 25 year old drug dealer at 16 and she was his trap queen and he forced her to do anal and he didn't use anything and didn't stop when it hurt so it didn't count for her. so i was her first.

girl told me no boyfriend, and as she opened up to me, she started griping about her boyfriend to me with the caveat that they were "off" when we first met but are still "off and on" (he was long distance). eventually upon trusting me she started really talking shit about him, she made fun of him for taking her to Europe platonically. she'd make fun of him calling her nonstop all night

lots of sexual trauma and abuse stories. same girl as the first also opened up about being graped, she met 2 guys online at 14 and ubered over to them and was allegedly graped.

weird sex, threesomes, drug use. a bi girl went to a party and used drugs, then sent me pics from church the next day. she mentioned that her and her friend took a "stupid young boy who couldnt handle his drugs" to church with them and they had to take care of him all night. later on, she was very comfortable telling me about women, she said she was sucking on her friends tits and experimenting with lesbianism. but i mentioned, weren't you guys taking care of an overdrugged frat boy all night? it was the wrong thing to say because it made her realize how guilty she was. she said oh no he was way too drugged he was just in the corner all night. months later she showed me her friend's insta album which had a pic of her and the fratboy from that night. he was ripped and looked alert and willing. the point of this one is that even if they trust you they will still mix in lies LOL

Being judgemental is an emotional state. You need to turn it into a logical state.
How to not be judgemental? Don't give a shit about her past.
That doesn't mean you can't use the information she provides to logically decide where she is on the scale (No Go, Plate, FWB, GF, LTR).

Jesus Christ man you are masturbating like hell over preparing for a relationship

It is extremely obvious you are tremendously insecure and trying to rationalize being exclusive with some woman

Bro. Take some time off to go through the anger phase, fuck me. If you can't get through that without all this, you'll struggle with what comes next.

This isn't even the worst of it man.

That belief you have of finding a unicorn? Yeah bury that deep. It's never coming back. And the bitterness - well this is only the beginning.

Enjoy the decline, I guess.