As long as my relationship journey goes I always go back and forth thinking "my looks are good, need to work on game" and vice versa. As I'm getting older I started thinking that my appearance might not be a problem as much as my game since at least some chicks would see me as their type.
Looks are pretty straightforward, but game isn't. True game I can't hear from my social circle, I can only find it on the web.
I'm not asking for a pussy password, I'd like some guidance on where I can learn new things and apply them later irl to not be stuck in all of the theory which I can't apply.
Blogs, sites, podcats, books, anything will help because this is my only source to learn something and to experiment.
As 1 guy said on here, "if something doesn't work out, try to mix it up a bit". Ofc I don't plan on changing game every instance I get, but to slightly alter it after every option I talk to would be the best solution I think.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 2d ago
experience.
At some point, it's time to stop reading and start doing.
You're going to have setbacks. Some will be your own fault, and many won't. Learn what you can from any setback and recalibrate. You'll never completely eliminate setbacks, but you can mitigate them a bit.
Love2travelbrah 3d ago
Just find comfort in knowing most guys are scared of bitches that’s step 1 lmao also make sure your hormones are in check because that can be the difference whether your passive or talkative and don’t give a fuck is if some female hormones are too high or T is too low etc.
mattyanon Admin 2d ago
Right
How far have you gotten? Are you meeting and dating chicks?
Where are you at?
Masun 13h ago
Currently low amount of dates in general, that's why I'm on here trying to improve.
coolsocks00 1 4d ago
You should note what you have read / tried, as well as your personal sticking points, in order to narrow down what advice you need.
Night game vs day game is quite different strategy wise.
Are your sticking points related to approach anxiety, general social calibration or holding conversation, body language, or assertiveness, etc.
Did you read any books, sidebar or r/trp.
Masun 4d ago
Read pook, rollo, sidebar, 48 laws of power, night game from roosh. I know I have a lack of confidence, social calibration is weak sometimes.
I've never had women around in my life (in non-romantic sense) to talk to, so I never had any real deep conversation with a chick outside of trying to game her.
The point is I have my weak sides ofc, but time and time again I see dudes worse than me in some areas and still put somehow. I can never pinpoint what's setting me back all this time.
coolsocks00 1 3d ago
The common denominator that sets everyone back the most, is the fear of failure. The fear of being rejected, outed, laughed at, the sort of things that keep you from trying as much as you could.
Repetition is the best remedy. Putting yourself into the situations you instinctually avoid.
Feel free to picture me taking all the girls you dont approach whenever you see one.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3d ago
Reading ≠ experience or skill
You can read how to drive, what to do behind the wheel, all about traffic
It isn't until you are on the road you see what driving is like. You can go back and see how that compares to what you read but learning to drive never stops
Some driver on the road, some weather hazard, some near miss, some car breakdown always teaches you something new.
You can't read all about driving and then think you know what do driving 25 around the block and then think you're an expert for trying the freeway for the first time
Your trials come from experience and retrospection.
STOP reading about the road. Get on it, travel, try things behind the wheel. Perma noobs circle the student driver in training, too afraid to get a fender bender or a flat one day. Too rigid. Afraid to try a parallel park, afraid to learn how to tow
I could go infinitely in this analogy, but when try new things behind the wheel you grow. You're clearly stuck on basic driving. Learn how to drive your car. Learn how to drive another car. Travel more road conditions and street types and try more driving maneuvers.
You're not going to stop being a n00b driving around the block with all this alleged driving knowledge you read about in your head
MrSupreme 4d ago
There's some things that are just attractive and makes game easier, you'll know it when you live it, because that's what an attractive talent and lifestyle does.
Think of a hobby,something creative like artistic photography, skateboarding,playing a cool instrument, surfing,beating some other guys asses on MMA....you get the picture.Those are all attractive things you wanna add to your life, it attracts people,not just women. Getting some of that in your routine will make you a more interesting person, and your social life will get a boost.Just make sure you like what you're doing and you are disciplined enough to not abandon it.
Other things help with your game too, like being funny,charismatic and making people laugh (watch standup comedy) I know guys that got laid plenty just because they made clits tingle with laughter, they didn't have much else going on for them otherwise. A great attitude,emotional control and social acumen are skills too.
Masun 4d ago
Does gym count as interesting? Aside from uni and video editing aside I don't have much going on. I try to focus on studying while earning something on the side.
I don't have much time for anything else.
MrSupreme 4d ago
The fitness lifestyle can be interesting for some people, hiking,jogging,sports,rock climbing, people get into those things and it is something to talk about and do together.The gym by itself is definitely place for socializing, make friends there, I know some guys do pick up girls there.
You'll find some time and some hobby.
Musicgoon78 2 4d ago
Your game isn't going to get any better by reading more or reciting some shit canned lines. It is so unique that is highly personal and need to be something you develop. If you go out and have fun, you're game will be on point if you go out to game chicks, your results are going to be on the sucky side of things. That's just how this works. This is your experiment. Go out and try shit. Learn from experience and report back here. That will help us give you some pointers.
Masun 4d ago
I've had my time where I'd go out every day, every saturday to a club and I've learned some things here and there, went to some parties, but I still was nowhere near close to some of my friends level of game who didn't even go out. That shattered me in a way.
I don't have as much time now so I almost completely removed myself from going out everyday - I exchanged that for a gym and I don't go to clubs as often.
I feel like I didn't really learn from those experiences, I think I just wasted time, but time can't be bought back so it sucks.
Musicgoon78 2 4d ago
Well back to my point. Your "game" is your own. It won't be the same as your friends.
Secondly, trying to pick up s chick in the club is a terrible place to go for meeting quality women. most of the time they are looking for free drinks and free attention. Is so loud in there that you have to spit in a girls ear to have a conversation.
Do you only have a year or two to live? If the answer is no, it's not too late for anything.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4d ago
Your game is infinitely less important than your vibe and social skills.
Some game is important, such as teasing a girl, making things man to woman, giving premises instead of outright showing intent, making her laugh , touching, going for plausible deniability logistics, venue hopping etc
You can have great game and no vibe and get zero pussy. You can have an amazing vibe and almost no game and get laid.
If you lack basic social skills or inability to execute them well, you are fucked and your game is YOLO at best in that circumstance.
Being constantly stuck in n00b mode is a combination of lack of social navigation as well as failing to do anything that builds attraction on a good timeline
Your vibe matters more. Learning game as a social sperg is what makes permanent n00bs and autistic alphas, if people don't vibe with you you are fucked. Make friends and learn these skills before trying to get pussy out of it
You can keep trying game or whatever and you should introspect back on what did or didn't work and why it didn't work or what could have been different. But if you don't have the social foundayti vibe you are fucked
Masun 3d ago
How to improve my vibe then? I don't want to rush things but I also don't want to take it too slow. How to improve basic social skills? Anything that could help, any book any guide, anything that I can do
throwaway415 4d ago
I think the key is really just to be about yourself. Be about your money. Don't even worry about trying to attract woman. Consciously trying to attract them has the opposite effect. Instead, focus on improving yourself and doing what YOU want, not what women want or what you think women want.
That's just the first step and this is an overly simplified description, but be about yourself.
Also, as you hook up and start spinning a lot of plates, this thing will sort of just come naturally where women will know you're hooking up with other women on a subconscious level, without you even saying it. You'll develop confidence and also a genuine lack of interest. For example I wake up to about 36 notifications on my phone every day from women. I literally do not even have enough time to read or reply to them all, so I end up not replying to them for hours or days a time. I'm not actively choosing to do this as part of some 'game' to attract them, I genuinely just don't have time. I have shit to do, I have to go to work and make money. I have hobbies and things I want to do and don't want to waste time sitting on my phone texting bitches all day, and they fucking love it. They hate it, but they love it. They know they're just a distraction in my life that I occasionally pay attention to, and that signals the sort of sexual value they crave.
Be about yourself.
Hope this helps