Allegedly I bumped into some 5'6" Half Asian dude at my venue who looks like maybe he lifts. I have zero recollection of this, and I always apologize for it when it happens.
I'm walking down the street walking 4 of my dance partners when his idiot friend flags me down and says someone has a question. Dude just comes straight out the gates with "nigga you better realize you bumped into me in there."
I just said "did I?"
Him: yes you better realize
Me: I'm sorry dude I had no idea this happened. I'm sorry if it happened
Tried to walk away because the girls were just standing there. His retarded friend grabbed my arm so I just looked Asian dumbass in the face again.
Him: you better realize nigga
Me: or what?
I looked at his 10 group chode group
Him: they're not gonna fuck you up (defensive body language)
Dumb friend: you better realize man
Me: okay.
*girls start freaking out and telling me to go*
Him: you can go
Dumbass friend: (grabs my arm again)
Him: you hit me hard
Me: I'm really sorry man, i didn't feel anything at all if it happened. I'm sorry I did that
Him: are YOU OKAY? (confused/concerned look)
Me: yeah
Him: nigga you hit me so hard in there (looks like actually upset)
Me: (pity/empathy look on my face) hey man i am really sorry if I actually bumped you
I reached out my hand and he shook it. Not violently or anything. I extended my free arm to try to bro hug the dude and he came in for one and the girls all started getting pissed off at the group of idiots.
Him: chil chill chill! Were hugging it out
Dumb friend: (pushes my arm off his buddy) you better go.
Me: alright. later
I've never had that retarded shit happen to me in 3 years of going. I've had a gangbanger and 2 friends get in my face before but we're chill now, but that was a while ago
Was there anything I could have realistically done different here with 4 girls I was walking, me being the only guy, and 10 aggressive chodes?
I seriously don't think I bumped anyone but I have accidentally bumped walls before and people are like "are you okay dude? that looked kinda hard"
It's entirely possible i bumped him, i genuinely have no recollection
This dude seemed like he was seriously thrown off by how nonresponsive I was to the situation and was getting like upset emotional and losing his tough side the longer the convo went on. I don't know if he just thought I was crazy or something not giving a shit about 10 guys strolling up on me, that i genuinely seemed to have no idea about this, or both. Idk. Feedback? I didn't even have any physical reaction to being grabbed. My arm was completely relaxed. I didn't react at all to any of this.
Did I fuck up somehow keeping that conversation going? I wasn't worried but the girls clearly were and I felt like I kept them in that situation too long even though they were on the sidelines
Not sure I could have taken the offer to leave because either him or his friend would grab me each time
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago Stickied
I feel like someone is going to ask me:
No, i didn't have any reaction when I was alone with the girls. They immediately said they were driving me to my car after that but I had zero reaction.
When i got to the car i just said "that was dumb , I have no idea what that was about, I'm good at defusing that kind of stuff"
Zero frame loss. I just shrugged it off.
Kreaton01 1w ago
Not much, although I don't think being tough would bother them much when you're so outmatched. You could've been even less aggressive. Not scared, but don't escalate it.
Mofreer 1w ago
I believe apologizing is the best course of action. If I had to criticize this situation; I'd say there wasn't a need to keep the conversation past the first "sorry". Mostly, it wouldn't turn physical if you apologize with a smile and keeping movie forward. Otherwise, you've handled it well
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
Even though I tried that and they physically prevented me from leaving? I tried to leave twice after the first sorry
Just wondering if i could have said "i need to walk them" (the girls)
My biggest thing was just that I didn't want to leave it unresolved because I didn't want them to jump me in the future. I only got a good look at the main guy. I hardly saw the face of the other guy. I've never seen them before.
I mostly Also just didn't want future problems if I left it hanging
In hindsight i think that was the group trying to leave out of a door that wasn't a door. I don't remember touching anyone though. Maybe i did, my leather jacket has a lot of padding. No clue
Mofreer 1w ago
Yeah, I think that you non verbally communicated that you were looking to resolve an issue. But there wasn't an issue to begin with.
Escalating physically is a horrible choice, so you're right in your decision to keep it civil. However, if you somehow come across as you're too civil, you will get stepped on (preventing you from leaving).
I can advise the following from my martial arts experience; no matter what kind of conversation I am having with a stranger, I am always at an arms length. This will prevent any physical contact or unexpected behavior.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
Good to know. I wasn't up against him but I was at an "i don't care how close we are' distance. Like about 2 feet.
This caught me off guard, especially considering that I never have this problem with people. For all i know i bumped him full speed walking and really had zero sensation
Either way I guess i handled it well, i didn't have to resort to any verbal warnings or Anything. I didn't know what to do about the sheer amount of guys in the group. I suspected most were wannabe gang pussies.
I didn't feel threatened I just felt really off about it once I was alone
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
Also what was the deal? His friends all seemed like aggressive chicken shits.
The dude kept getting emotional like I actually hurt his feelings or something. All that fake alpha brovado. Any idea what those R-tards were doing? Compensating?
Mofreer 1w ago
Of course they acted like chickens; that's why they made such a big deal out of a simple shoulder touch.
Most of these guys either avoid any real confrontation or end up doing something reckless over the smallest things.
It sounds like they were just trying to score an easy win by going after a single guy who was with women, while they were holding each other's cocks.
mattyanon Admin 1w ago
A few thoughts:
"you ok?" ......... by answering, you're buying into their frame.
NEVER accept an offered hand in this sort of situations.... you got lucky, but they can grab it, yank you in, and headbutt you while their friends hit you, and you can't get away or hit back.
Other than that.... fuck knows what was going on here. You did well with surviving that shit.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
I was the one who offered mine
He stood there confused af. His friends looked dumbfounded and confused. He tepidly picked up it and no one did anything. I don't know if i just mind fucked them all or what
My behavior might have been very different without the girls around. I definitely had more options without the nearby
I never once felt truly threatened. I don't know why i just did not pick up anything that made me nervous
AbusiveFather1 1w ago
maybe because you were never in danger, but that still doesn't mean you get to assume anything (are they dangerous/are they not). in my experience though, the guys that can really do some damage are the ones that are on a mission (get some money/rob you/shank you for your race), and not a bunch of queers out to prove something to themselves or whoever
adam-l Moderator 1w ago
I like the way you handled it.
AbusiveFather1 1w ago
africans really need to moderate who they give the n-word pass to
what else do you want? other than what @mattyanon said, you did perfect - you survived. maybe, if you're going to apologize/defuse anyway, you shouldn't have even entertained their prompt to "converse" with you - should've just apologized and kept on walking. you were lucky they weren't really depraved or under the influence so much so to do something stupid (they sound like a bunch of gook gay-boys to me tbh but even dorks can stomp your skull if they get you down).
also, you need to concealed-carry. i carry (a tiny lady-gun) to dancing venues, idgaf: this is america, you have to assume there's always a retard itching to kill/rob you every time you go out. this doesn't mean you can be more brazen, but it's better to be packing if one of those asian midgets pulls a knife because you're getting pussy and all that he's getting is a napoleon complex.
Diabs 1w ago
No one gets a n word pass wtf is that shit. Nigger is just a fuckin word no one needs permission to say it.
AbusiveFather1 1w ago
up top, good buddy o/
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 1w ago
I think you handled it well.
MrSupreme 1w ago
I dont think combat would have been a solution,you were outnumbered. I dont see much sense in fighting drunk kids or a drunk crowd.
You defused the situation, neutralized the hostile and went home.How did you do it? Played a dummy that had no ldea of what he did wrong.
Sometimes those kids are homoerotic enough that they just want a confused hug hump from the guy they're "competing" against.They have that weird narrative going in
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
I agree, except i wasn't playing dumb I quite literally had no idea I ever made contact with this guy. For all i know, i didn't
lambOfGod 1w ago
You handled it well but a few things you should be aware of:
When you have a girl or multiple girls, men will try to start shit with you, specially when you are outnumbered. Men are your enemy in your every day life, don't be fooled by the red pill bros who try to give you the "we are in this together". No we ain't. We are going to kill each other when a woman enters the room because men are pussies and dumb
Again, be on your guard and alert when you have women with you, specially at night or on weekends. Other dudes will try to start shit with you to look cool and alpha.
I always conceal carry, even here in EU, where we don't have guns. I have been in many fights and the second I get a sense of a fucker getting in his fight stance I'm about to warn him to back off, leave me alone (start walking away, with your front turned to him, not your back) and he if charges me I am pulling my knife/tonfa/police gas I have on me and I'm going in for the kill, cause it's my life. This is absolutely the NUCLEAR option and you should avoid it at all costs.
Try to think how would you minimize the risk of getting in this scenario again. Avoiding bad places late at night on the WEEKENDS where there is lots of alcohol and drugs (and women) could prove a good strategy. On weekends, every scum of the earth is free and can do whatever the scum wants.
Try to travel by car/uber long distances at night, specially if u have women around.
derdeutscher 1w ago
You were lucky. Truth is if bunch of guys really want to fuck you up they will do so. But I think you did well.
We live in shitty times, if you are good looking or having woman with you, you will get provoked often.
I try hard to stay out of trouble. I have seen shit and trust me broken ego is better then being dead or in prison.
First-light 1w ago
I can't see anything not to approve of here. The guy has a problem with a very small and fragile ego. It must be clear to everyone, maybe even his girlfriend /boyfriend.
Decent high status people treat the mentally ill with sympathy first.
Almost any other solution would at best have left micro dick simmering with rage for the future. I can't see how you looked bad to anyone unless you crawled to him and it doesn't sound like it the way you recount the tale, so nice one. Well done in an awkward situation.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
Thanks man. This was a first. The gangbanger situation before that last year was me warning a long time chick acquaintance about dating said gangbanger and he suspected I told her, and his 3 man posse confronted me but it was inside of the venue so i was insulated from all of it. We are now very cool with each other.
This was a first in which I got ganged on the street. My only other solution was to run back to the venue (had the girls not been there, and gotten back on the property lines because the bouncers are basically my personal security there.) i was about 50 feet away from the building.
Sucks because normally that street has cop cars there but didn't that night. I did what i could on remarkably short notice in a first time situation
Gilles 1w ago
Think you did fine. There's nothing wrong with apologizing as long as you stay true to yourself. You had 4 bitches accompanying you. They were just trying to AMOG you. In my opinion you shouldn't change anything. If one your bitches questions your actions, just let her go. She's just trying to bait insecurity and you don't need that
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
Thanks
Nah none of the girls questioned me at all. She just wanted to get me to my car safely by driving me
Kloi 1w ago
That's the only fault I see otherwise you were deescalting the entire time.
Most guys, especially drunk/pissed off take this as a challenge.