Hey bros been on and off rp for years, so who else to share thoughts and make a decision with. I was in a LTR with a 6.5/10 nothing special but a body to die for. I was using this as rotation pussy as my main plate the sex was crazy. She kept bothering for over 6 months for a ltr which I gave in. Kept her around as a main and was cheating with multiple plates behind her back like over 30/40. Ltr ends up pregnant 6 months in and we agreed on an abortion and she refused on the day. 9 months later there’s a child which Im meh about because her mother has a N count of 10-12. Not the smartest, lacks real education. So the only thing we have in common is sex and great sex at that. I stay around to help out with the child I refuse to move in: we continue like this for a year - I’m around 2/3 days a week. She ends up pregnant again after a year. I still have the same schedule 2/4 day to see ltr and kids the rest is spent gym, high paying job, I’m 28 and into martial arts and many sports. This whole situation is the only thing dragging me by the balls. Ltr doesn’t ask for much she just wants to get married she is asking me either marriage or we seperate (she doesn’t like the freedom I have). She has been totally catering for me cooking daily cleaning daily everything including a great mum.
So what’s stopping me marrying her. 1. Over 10 N count, 2.lack of education and brain capacity 3. Her family are essentially typical white trash with no futures.
Do I really want to put all eggs into this basket. However I’m worried about the impact on the two kids they are 1/2. And without me facilitating and being around there futures will be bleak. I do know that I don’t want to be a step dad (a guy who’s around every other week) I’d rather be all in or all out. So if I decide to not marry her I’ll have to totally abandon ship. And find a ltr and marry someone with a lower N count and a bit smarter.
Or am I in too deep and learn how to swim - marry her and turn her into a submissive slut and totally dominate this situation. Would like some additional non vanilla thoughts on this. Thanks!
Durek_The_Bald 1mo ago
That "all or nothing" attitude of yours is autistic as fuck. Plenty of men raise well adjusted children on a 50/50 custody arrangement. And what's more, it can be a pretty sweet deal so long as the mother isn't crazy. Spending every other week with your kids, and every other week on yourself, what's not to like about it? Get your head out of your ass, and think rationally.
adam-l Moderator 1mo ago
You need to get your shit together, man.
Two accidental kids, ffs?
Caring about the future of the kids is a good sign, but it seems you don't have too much of an idea how to go about it.
As it is now, I'm afraid the way you've found till now is the best you can do.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
You'd be better off not marrying her. And wear a condom ffs.
This going to be a messy marriage. Not to moralize but you don't have a relationship. What you described isn't a relationship. You haven't treated it like one whatsoever. Being trapped cohabitating with baby mama isn't a relationship.
You don't have a relationship at all. Sleeping with 40 other women when you have a girlfriend isn't a relationship unless she agreed to that. You don't have a relationship and yet you're talking about marriage.
Don't make this worse than it already is. You stuck your dick in the fire and you need to pull it out before you burn yourself and everyone else even more.
Eyeswideshut 1mo ago
Why do u say this will be a doomed marriage from the start?
I somewhat agree part of me thinks there’s too much mess for one man to clean up better to start of clean
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
Are you being serious? You cheated on her 30-40 women. Dude for real? You don't see how shitty this relationship is?
C'mon man you could not be this dense
MrSupreme 1mo ago
Putting all eggs in one basket? You just put two babies in her!
You're gonna have to take some time to think what you want and to plan ahead.You could stick around for the kids and not be with the mom,you could leave her and the kids and follow your own path (red pill is amoral) or you could try and start a family and give those kids that,a full family that is together, or whichever option comes to mind.
You seem to be in good standing with the woman, she's probably submissive and loving enough, you'd have to hold frame hard,because LTRs and marriage are red pill on hard mode.So think things through very well because this is not a silly subject,it is a lot of time and energy were talking about here.
Eyeswideshut 1mo ago
I am in good standing, she told me I’m free to leave if I want - no child support or any issues. She just wants a clear decision. For sure she is a submissive and loving woman - the only itch in the back or my mine is my ego. She’s been fucked by 10/11 lowlife men one who is practically homeless drunk. Not sure I can wrap my head around marrying what all these other men used for a cheap bit of ass
MrSupreme 1mo ago
Don't feel the need to suppress your ego unless you're trying to get in your head that you need to be a father.She has a sex history,big deal,they all do.
She's giving you freedom to leave,no strings attached and that is wonderful news for any man in this day and age, take that into consideration,you have no pressure.
Wether you keep the girl or leave her, the options and freedom you have been given is a great boon.
Musicgoon78 1 1mo ago
I'm sorry but this whole post is fucking retarded! You fucked up twice. You didn't learn your lesson the first time.
So now there are two kids out there with a retard dad. This shit is a responsibility that you aren't taking seriously. If you're going to cheat that much, leave the chick. What the fuck?
And seriously, you think an N count of 10 is high? Bruh.... You are going to be a broke ATM instead of a father soon and women will know you have two kids. You're doubtfully going to find any low notch count chicks that want a single dad that won't commit to them.
Here's another dose of honesty: if you're not happy with your relationship now and it's not enough for you, that feeling will only get stronger over time.
Marriage isn't a fix. Marriage isn't a solution. Marriage won't make you want her more. Marriage is a contract that says if you two don't work out you are screwed over almost permanently.
Wait until you get buttfucked by the family courts or have to deal with school and other entitled chicks that want marriage and kids as well.
My suggestion as a divorced guy and a single dad is this: Work on building a strong relationship with your kids. You can do that without marriage. It takes work so don't tell me a bunch of bullshit excuses. If you don't want to be a dad, fucking sack up and just say you're not interested.
Second is to negotiate how you want your kids raised. You can get along with this woman, you can love her, you can fuck her. It doesn't mean you have to marry her or give in to her demands. Don't let her call the shots.
Like it or not your life is going to change vastly. That's just being human. If you embrace being a dad and enforce your boundaries, You'll have and enjoyable life and raise great kids.
Stop making shitty decisions.
No-Stress-Cat 1mo ago
Ultimatum? Fuck off, bitch.
Child support is much cheaper than getting divorce raped. You still have to show up for you kids, it's your responsibility. That being said, if you're still intent on getting married to someone, it might as well be your baby momma, because she will cause drama between you and whoever you're dating.
That's not a headache I'd be willing to deal with.
First-light 1mo ago
The problem here is you don't respect her. Is it for good reason? Is she really a worthy mother for your children? If not then you will mess up if you invest further in her.
"Man up and face your responsibilities" is maybe good for her and maybe better for the kids but if you ultimately don't respect her it won't end well. You will screw around and she will start to think you are selfish. Her friends then may suggest to her that your selfishness is "abuse" you may then be screwed.
Having more kids with someone you respect is more likely to be a win for you. However you will have a hard choice to make over the kids. You will be billed as a dead beat dad. You will have to more or less just take this. You can and will want to try to have a good relationship with your kids but remember that step mothers are usually evil. Your next woman will really queer the picture in your relationship with your kids and there is no easy answer.
If you want to have a future with your kids or other kids, you will need to have less time for yourself. But putting that time to the best use is now your choice.
financehardo420 1mo ago
Quit being a pussy and go to the gym