Funny I come across this today.

I'm in the situation you were when you decided to LTR her. I see similar red flags in my girl. Likes festivals, drugs etc. Reformed hoe at best. But besides that, she's 10/10.

I'm going to establish clear boundaries for the relationship in terms of what I want in exchange for my commitment; her commitment. Which includes: No girls trips to party cities with skank friends, no clubbing without me, no getting drunk without me, be in bed by 11PM, dress modestly (especially when I'm not around), no multiple-day festivals (where you sleep in a tent), no drugs. If she agrees to this and proves to be reliable over a time period, I can see an LTR and drop the other plates.

Other things to keep focusing on for me is fitness, finances, keeping emotions in check & not being so stupid to marry.

She had red flags. It was supposed to be temporary. Often when long relationships end we are clouded by the loss of dopamine and oxytocin that person gave us and in the void feel like we can't get that again and also know instinctively that the amount of time it will take to redevelop that with someone else sucks.

You need to just remember that this woman should not have been upgraded. Her exiting your life is a favor, not a loss. You'll feel better when the self blame subsides and you see that this "loss" so to speak is actually an open door to something better.

The chemical withdrawal is the suckiest part of the whole thing, and that too will subside.

Happened to all of us champ. We all survived.

You dodged a bullet, brother. One of your own making.

A lot of men here often play Russian Roulette, yet they don't realize they're the ones who brought the gun and ammo to the table. They think they are special and can navigate through some kind of loophole that doesn't exist, and then wonder what happened when they find a bullet lodged in their brain.

Kudos to you. At least you have the awareness to self-reflect, take time to understand where things went wrong, and learn from your mistakes. That doesn't make you a bitch. That makes you man. This was a good rant.

It's normal to feel bad once you break up. It will subside with time and the next girl, bro.

never have "talks" with women

You're not being a little bitch, I'd say about a medium sized bitch at best. Lift some weights, run a few miles,read a few books, have some drinks. Everything is going to be alright lol. Take your time but get back to gaming and spinning plates soon, that will be refreshing

It always gets better. That does not negate how you feel now but its important to see it in context. Its a sort of grief and you need to be allowed to grieve but its not the sort of grief that you get for a dead person who can't be replaced, this ends and everything gets better.

Now you can get back to doing whatever the hell you like to please yourself. Once you are relaxed and happy the next girl will soon enough be along to put an end to all that.

You know what? For all that your post is a bit victim-pukey, you're owning your decisions and the consequences of them. Thumbs up overall.

Now for some feedback.

red flags

Red flags are dealbreakers. As in, this is a line in the sand past which you do not proceed.

Some men's red flags will be other men's yellow flags (for example, I married a divorcee). What might be a red flag for commitment can be a green flag for a ONS or short term fling (such as a busy single mom who just wants some dick).

The important thing is: if she had red flags to you that you saw as red flags, why did you give her commitment? Usually the answer is scarcity mindset, but mull this over a bit.

I'd also advise reading (or rereading) HumanSockPuppet’s Guide to Managing Your Bitches. Make sure you aren't granting upgrades to the unworthy.

we broke up and somehow made up

Breakups are permanent.

Read (or reread) Rooting Through Garbage.

Taking a woman back is almost never a good idea.

I told her to have a talk

Rarely a good idea.

1) you're playing to her strengths. Women usually beat the crap out of us verbally due to instinctual manipulations and emotional tricks. Unless you're really, truly in tune with that shit and on top of your game, you're better off not even engaging.

2) this has been said many ways: acta, non verba. Demonstrate, don't explicate. Women talk, men do. One of the 48 Laws of Power is "win through your actions, never through argument" (likely paraphrased, done from memory).

She said she met someone when we took our break but insisted nothing happened. I told her it's fine, we did break up then, if she really wanted to try and make it work, I want things to be clear and sex is just one part of it.

Well, she said what I expected - we just broke up

Sounds like trickle-truth. You're fortunate; most women would just keep it to themselves.

But this is another reason not to go back after ending things.

It was not meant to be a LTR. But she was smart, has good taste, and we did have a great time without anything major happen. She was not LTR material by all red pill standards, but I liked hanging out with her because she was smart, read books, liked the same music and I could talk to her about things that other girls couldn't. Also she has a great body and the sex was amazing too.

Sounds like a great plate or FWB.

But why upgrade past that? Was she your only source of sex?

From what I think is the most importation Red Pill writing ever, Roissy's Sixteen Commandments of Poon:

VII. Always keep two in the kitty

Never allow yourself to be a “kept man”. A man with options is a man without need. It builds confidence and encourages boldness with women if there is another woman, a safety net, to catch you in case you slip and risk a breakup, divorce, or a lost prospect, leading to loneliness and a grinding dry spell. A woman knows once she has slept with a man she has abdicated a measure of her power; when she has fallen in love with him she has surrendered nearly all of it. But love is ephemeral and with time she may rediscover her power and threaten to leave you. It is her final trump card. Withdrawing all her love and all her body in an instant will rend your soul if you are faced with contemplating the empty abyss alone. Knowing there is another you can turn to for affection will fortify your will and satisfy your manhood.

If a plate pushes for an upgrade and will break if you refuse to upgrade, then you still have other sources of sex.

I think I caught oneitis big time. It happens.

You are only human.

Just learn to recognize it and squash it before it takes hold.

I was having a big roster and multiple girls for a few years, then when I decided to try LTR again, oneitis returns.

Key phrase: "decided to try for an LTR".

an LTR cannot be your goal; you grant an upgrade to a worthy woman who earns it if you are fortunate enough to find one and decide to grant it.

It seems that you wanted the LTR to the point of granting one to an unworthy woman. Again, mull over HSP'S guide I linked earlier.

never vent out about your stress to your girl.

In general, that's a bad move, especially if she's new (less than 5 years or so together).

This is one of my favorite topics, and I have a series of posts at WAATGM that cover it. I'll just link to the first one for now, and recommend that you read my sticky comment and the links within.

I'm being a little bitch

Nah.

"Out of sight, out of mind". No contact + a new girl or three, and you'll be over it in no time. Sucks now, but that's only right now.

Other than that, you seem to have a pretty good handle on where things went tits up. This is a fantastic life lesson for you, one that will serve you well. And you got it for pretty cheap, just a few hurt fee-fees for a couple of weeks.

Be thankful for the lesson, and be thankful you were granted the cognitive capacity in this life to take something valuable away from it.

Breaks never work. If you are "taking a break" then that means that either one or more likely both of you are not really feeling it anymore and the thought of finding someone better grown past the state of thought into one of action. By that point it's game over, there's not much binding you together anymore.

The only real long term defense against branch swinging is knocking them up, and even that doesn't work some of the time. It's worse for women though, 90% of the time if a kid has 1 parent it's the mom. Probably part of why so many women are pro-abortion since the cultural changes of the 60s and the advent of laws like "no fault divorce".

Paradoxically, it's actually women who initiate the majority of divorce but's that's because almost all women are emotional thinkers. Far more childlike in their reasoning than most men are. They tend to make very poor long term decisions because of this heightened emotionality.

If you think about it, there aren't really any competent long term planners existent among females. How many woman engineers are there for example? Almost 0. How many generals? Actually 0. Logic is a weak point for their sex. Of the many terrible decisions that our rulers have been made for our society in the last century.... telling women they now need to work, vote and make decisions about society was definitely in the top 5.

And worse yet, is that is has been around for so long that it is largely self perpetuating now. The natural state of humanity was men leading and protecting women... For the entirety of human history save for the small slice we live in now. The people behind these social experiments have really fucked things up. There is very little trust between the sexes now. Women aren't scared of bears anymore lol.

We live in a very unnatural and broken society and culture. It's going to break down completely at some point, it already has to a large extent.

you want me to tell you that you are a little bitch , to make you feel better?

No bro, you are making a few mistakes, like all of us.

This is nothing that you can't shake off and recover from. Quite quickly.

I just got divorce raped for the second time, and it was rough. But... men are tough. Men go to war.

I recommend creating an excercis routine for yourself, and getting laid. I found that getting laid doesn't make you feel better, BUT it really really does help kicking the oneitis.