Might be a autistic question but I read somewhere that to physically escalate properly you have to establish physical contact on the very first greeting otherwise it's just gonna get harder later on. I was thinking about ways I could do it while waiting inside the car but couldn't think of anything other than a handshake which seems awkward.
If i wait for her outside my car i can just hug her as a greeting. What do you guys think?
Testme 6d ago
Do not do friend hugs ever ... because its friendy obviously, not sexual.
Let her come to you. She should be opening her own doors and chairs. You are not her valet.
NeoSpartan 1w ago
Needs more context. Is this a first date, second? First time meeting or do you know her from somewhere?
I don't think handshakes are good regardless. I always do hugs at the start, never had a bad reaction. She is already attracted to you or she wouldn't have agreed to the date, I think a handshake would be weird and far too businesslike for that situation. The situation being, you both are doing this to find out if you want to fuck each other and all. You get what I mean? You are already halfway there.
Anyway, don't worry about it. Dating is only enjoyable if you let yourself have fun with it. The less overthinking you do the better it will probably go for you. Girls are spongelike follower types who will almost always mirror what you put out if you do frame right. So focus on having a good time and she will too. Just have a decent plan for the date, don't just wing it unless you are taking her to the fair or something where you can just walk around and do random stuff.
Man... I kinda want to go to the fair now. Haven't been to one in a while.
Whatsnext 3w ago
i go to her door and knock and say whats up and get a hug. imo waiting in the car is weird unless she asks you to due to a circumstance.
whytehorse2021 3w ago
This boils down to frame. She's entering your frame. Your car, your car door, your restauraunt, your table, etc. Think of going to her door as showing you have the balls(used to be her dad would answer and interrogate you). Opening the car door for her is a compliance test. Pulling her chair out at the restauraunt is a compliance test. Ordering for her is a compliance test but times have changed
financehardo420 3w ago
This is correct.
joyboy 3w ago
Compliance test as in shes testing to see if you’ll do things the way she wants or how you want? So to pass the test I shouldn’t do any of those things?
whytehorse2021 3w ago
She complies by not saying "I can open/hold my own door". This is the easiest way to see if she is compliant or argumentative. Who's calling the shots? You or her? So it's really about frame.
whytehorse2021 3w ago
I should modify my reply to say "agreeable" instead of compliant. It's an important personality trait in women. Women who are argumentative make bad LTRs/wives.
oowiw 3w ago
The winning strategy over the long term is to do whatever you were going to do anyway, reacting to a shit test (even if you know how to win the test) is still reacting...
The beauty of this is it works whether you notice the shit test or not, it's not just the best overall strategy but also the least effort.
First-light 3w ago
This is the best solution, hands down.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
You're overthinking the absolute fuck out of this.
Stay in car and as you see her approaching get out and casually walk towards her, say whatever (how are you doing? Or some other comment) while going for a simple hug. Chat as necessary and then mention going to the place of date. Let her get it her own seat
You gotta fix your autism dude. This is why I tell guys so hard to make friends (including female friends) so that they can learn basic social interactions. Not having friends is how you end up with questions like this
https://www.forums.red/p/theredpill/322057/the_permanent_game_noob_the_autistic_alpha_and_how_to_fix_it
financehardo420 3w ago
This is correct.
joyboy 3w ago
My man if i’m picking up a male friend he just gets in the car and I dap him up or fist bump and it’s chill. It’s obviously different if your meeting a girl you have intentions of getting with, unless your in the camp of guys who says to “treat them like you would your make friends” which seems like a great way of getting friendzoned “. I don’t have to worry about all the shit like escalation and all that with my friend cause i’m not trying to fuck them
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
Yes, duh. But it's still overthinking.
You need to ask yourself with a woman, is this needy, overinvested, out of place? Or is it natural and free-flowing
Getting out of the car to specifically open her door isn't natural, it's also overinvested. Getting out of your car to greet her is natural and appropriately invested to introduce yourself to someone
You would have the answers to a lot of your questions if you did that checklist
joyboy 3w ago
Wtf I'm literally the permanent noob. That's crazy how I fit that archetype to a T. I just want to get better but I'm stuck
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
Why you think I write that detailed ass post? Just for clicks?
Make some friends I literally wrote about it in my post
Social before game. I swear on it
financehardo420 3w ago
As verm said, you’re overthinking.
Game isn’t a step by step checklist or an algebraic function. it’s not x+ y = z
It should flow NATURALLY. You meet her you get to the bar or whatever and notice she was a tattoo on her arm or some shit; “oh whats that you got goin on over there” while lightly brushing your hand on it.
Laughing really hard ab some joke and you put her hand on her thigh; shit like that man.
Don’t focus on all this game bullshit; your brain will implode. Just let it flow naturally. If you still want to implement stuff like that you need to understand it as a GENERAL GUIDELINE of do’s/don’ts and not a hard set of rules.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
Guys don't seem to understand game is like 20% or less of the interaction. The higher percentage needs to be game if you're trying to fuck and polarize ASAP (which burns a lot of otherwise good sets to the ground but gets some women interested fast)
Guys be thinking they have to be gaming the whole fucking time instead of just on openings for it
financehardo420 3w ago
Facts it’s like a framework but outside of game it’s just your natural charm, energy, charisma or whatever and obviously your looks.
I’m convinced these hardcore game spergs are just a bunch of fuckin nerds that try to turn getting laid into literal rocket science
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
Don't get me wrong you could turn it into a rocket science, but definitely not if you don't even have the basics down
financehardo420 3w ago
Once a while back I was w a bird and she was arguing w me and being all feisty n shit. There were these older MBA guys that were watching the whole ordeal (I was talking w them earlier ab watches) and when she went to grab drinks for us I guess one of them told her they saw me smacking some girl’s ass and making out w her n shit.
At the time I thought wow what fkin retards. But looking back that might have been some pro game lowkey hahaha if I had worse frame that bag could’ve been easily fumbled
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
Lmao
joyboy 3w ago
Ok, so I would be fine just staying in the car when I pick her up? And then just try touching her at natural moments throughout the date?
financehardo420 3w ago
I mean as both verm and whatsnext said, it’d be kinda weird to just pull up in the car and wait for her to hop in. Esp w OLD chicks/chicks you’ve never met in real life, it’s pretty essential to give off non serial killer vibes in this day and age. Personally I’d park, hop out and call her up to say im outside.
I don’t think opening the door for her is lame but only if it’s not out of your way. Ie her door is positioned as something you’d have to pass regardless to get to your door. Do not however, walk fully around to open if that makes sense
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
You COULD. I've done this is traffic is fucking bad and or I don't have time or convenience to get out. There are some situations where it would be unnatural or even risky to get out of your car to say hi first (like traffic on your side of door)
Do you really thinks she wants her first meet of a guy to be through a passenger seat. No! So get out of your car and be NATURAL
You have a failure to think naturally. And this is why you desperately need friends and more social interactions.
I seriously credit my extreme blue pill days of being dozens of girls sexless bff with learning basic social shit with women. Then you add game and sex to it and it's overpowered. You need to learn basic social shit with women dude. This shouldn't even be a question
joyboy 3w ago
Lol yea it seems so obvious now that you guys said it. I told you I'm autistic bro but you said I wasn't
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
You're not autistic
You just have such low social exp that it extremely apparent to anyone reading these questions
financehardo420 3w ago
I’ve told you this before and I’ll say it again.
Start going to the bars. Those are literally intended for socializing and meeting the opposite sex; that is their primary function. You don’t have to get blackout drunk; you can have a good time grabbing a drink or two every hour or so. 4-8 drinks in a night once or twice a week isn’t going to hinder gainz as long as you’re doing everything else correctly. You need to do this to get some life experience under your belt as well as learn how to become socially calibrated.
Maturin_nj 3w ago
Excellent recommendation. This is how one learns and moves forward in the dating game with lots of potential prospects. I got a lot of women this way with lots of rejection along the way. A real learning curve. I was active 1980s/early 90s before any red pill or game info went mainstream. The game hasn't changed much in terms of female nature. Any guy who does this for a while will no longer see women through rose colored glasses and will red pill himself. I highly recommend this path. 62 years old now, I wouldn't do this shit or day game for all the tea in China. Although I still retain the basic inherent skill set. It like riding a bike, you never forget them. Most guys never develop those skills so they live in constant scarcity. I had several friends in this scarcity boat looking back.
financehardo420 3w ago
Facts literally just seeing how chicks interact w other dudes is enough to learn once you see it happen enough
joyboy 3w ago
I don't want to drink dude it's against my religious beliefs as well
financehardo420 3w ago
Then have a soda water at the bar. Or change your religion idek. At same time ain’t no way in helll your religion allows you to have premarital sex but not drink lol
MrSupreme 3w ago
I'd get out of the car,greet her with a kiss in the cheek or a light hug, then get in the car after opening the door for her.Use it to your advantage instead of feeling all weird about it, kino early and often
redhawkes 2 3w ago
It works for this guy.
Just kiss her on the cheek like a normal person ffs, at least that's what we do in Europe and stay in your car.
financehardo420 3w ago
He’s in USA im pretty sure; kiss on the cheek isn’t really what we do here
redhawkes 2 3w ago
Probably, judging by retarded posts lmaoo
Maturin_nj 3w ago
He's in the UK.
joyboy 3w ago
Nah I'm in US
Maturin_nj 3w ago
Just go out and try to have a nice time. Don't escalate at all. Try being charming if that is remotely possible. Can you be socially engaging with the opposite sex. Your goal should be to get a second date. That's it at this stage. Even if your only luke warm on the prospect. You build the wall one brick at a time.
joyboy 3w ago
Yeah your right I should be taking it one step at a time. I'm not necessarily trying to bang the first date. But I feel like to get a second date I have to escalate and at least go for the kiss on the first date since otherwise she might think I'm not that into her and then just ghost
Lone_Ranger 1 3w ago
Your issue it that you running to a forum to ask other dudes how to behave on the simplest easiest issues.
When are you going to just stand up and do what you want to do? THAT is your issue.
Everything you say or do is over-thought.
Do what you want to do. Go where you want to go, say what you want to say.
If you are behaving in a way that you think she wants you to behave, she will pick up on this, and she will know that you are not a leader. She will know that you are pandering to her, when what she (and any woman) really wants is a strong man that she can pander to. She WANTS to meet a strong man into who's frame she can get behind.
But if you are trying to second guess what she wants you to do, say, believe, etc....she will know that you are not the guy.
PS. In my own personal opinion, opening doors and that kind of shit is retarded. I know its a small thing, and I know that guys believe that they can do that and still be 'in their own frame' but it really does set the stage for paypig BB. My own theory is that you reserve the dominance / submission thing ONLY for the bedroom - that is where the real tone is set. The rest of the time, you need to treat women as if there were adults. Because if you don't, they will behave like children.
tecnotictoc 3w ago
Your head should explode from all contradictory frames.
Yeah this arre all frames. Guys thell you whhat they do, most of the time that will agree on x things.
You can pick those up and use.
As a matter of frame of having your own frame...
Imagine frame as being stubborn. Choose something, start doing it, and stand by it, even if its seemingly stupid. Be stubborn about it. Once you will get more experience with it you will know better does it work for YOU.
Be ready to change but you dont drop it because someone causes you to feel discomfort about it.
There will be discomfort doing new behaviours. You have been already conditioned and in the future - ppl will try to influence you, and people you know will try to get you to do, THE OLD YOU, would do.
Imagine opening the car door for a woman and her saying: 'you are a very nice Guy' - killer line. Now imagine you looking into her eye and replying semi jokingly 'shut up bitch, were going for adventure'.
If you treat her as punching bag at home, but open the door in front of the familly would you think it's too nice?
Hence in many situations you can't loose frame if you slipped, because you have several hours to turn it into a delayed joke, or spin it otherwise. Once you DO IT REGULARLY woman is so fucking confused about what is or isnt your frame that if you slip she will not be sure what and when next thing is coming.
That have other added benefit. Unknown gives her tingless. If you slip your frame and WILL NOT KNOW YOU DID, she will be "waiting" for your playful retaliation - very likely she will either: forget about it, might thing you forgot because of better things. She will remember even 2 days later if you make a good connection.
What will happen if after a week you'll realise you lost 20% of your frame during certain activity and you remember it again just because you do this activity again but it occurs to you you could do it better.
Spin it in your favour. Call her silly she didnt get it last time or smth. You might need to remind her what was it about, but if she totally forgot then don't dwell on it unless she really wants to know and presses for it in nice way.just call silly again and ask for Alzheimer familly history.
At the same time you want to keep very basic rules for HER IE no swearing, no nights out, whatever. That will create frame for her that never changes.
Hence the only frame that can be permanently broken right out, is the frame created for her, you cant really fix it.
Be stubborn.
tecnotictoc 3w ago
example.
I don't use word beautiful toward my FWB.
Once accidentally Ive said
10 minues later out of the blue I have added, looking above her eyes
Then let it hang.
Background. Its a running joke about her skin color. She comes from a country where people often have skin complexion similar to Pakistani people, these ppl are also imported there for servant labour, making probably some people (girls) being concerned about being mistaken for one.
It took her few seconds to remember.
Response I got, featuring big grin and fake anger, was :
For this kind of jokes you have to have your ears open to catch them saying stuff you can use for twists and spins in a funny manner.