"Men can cheat" is a myth. Men and women are not the same. Chinese emperors had hundreds of concubines, a few consorts, and one wife. It was not cheating back then. It's not cheating now.

how much weight gained and over what period of time?

Does she initiate? Did she ever?

I'm trying to determine if she got her good beta and is now relaxing and living the good life. You don't mention wife although others do in comments. If she's not a wife, easy, move on

If she is a wife, it's tough, but hey do you think it's going to get better if 5 years from now? how much more weight will be gained?

If a woman wants you, she'll make changes.

Morally, it's a gray area imo. So I'm not going to tell you what's what when it comes to that. All I can tell you is: If you do it, take it with you to the grave. Don't tell anyone, not even your best friend. Getting some on the side is one thing, adding insult to injury is another.

If your wife is too fat for you to want to bone her, probably the first and best thing to try out, is to level yourself up physically, and see if the dread makes her follow suit.

If she doesn't see being fat as a problem, maybe it's because she can't see you getting anything better. I think a question you need to ask yourself is: Can you get anything satisfying on the side without having to pay for it? If the answer is no, then that's enough in itself to explain why your wife is allowing herself to be fat.

Here are some thoughts:

First, some background.

• I have been married twice and divorced twice. For what that's worth
• I have never once been straight up been rejected for sex. I have gotten the "not now baby" or "later" but never "NO". For what that's worth.

Now, back to you. All I have is your comments. No context, not back story, no history, and no other side to the story. So that's a big problem right there. However...

Dead bedroom situation here.

Sex waxes and wanes. So how long? Do you ever cuddle? Are you close emotionally? Do you hold hands PDA, etc? Dude, provide some fucking information.

More because of me.

Yeah. I was starting to get that impression.

BTW - I think you are a female trying to troll this place. But whatevs.

She gained weight and doesnt really see that as a problem.

How much weight? How quickly? Is it from pregnancy? Is she emotionally eating?

This one of a woman's HUGEST fears, so congrats bro - you triggered it. This is an asshole move of epic proportions.

I love her

Not by any definition with which I am familiar. Would you feel loved if she banged some male stripper at a bacherlorette party beccause "dead bedroom issues"?

but i need new body to have sex wtih. attractive one.

You don't NEED one, You WANT one. And you clearly have little to no self-control. We all have that drive, so I am not shitting on you for having the feeling, but the marriage vows are meant to be taken VERY FUCKING SERIOUSLY AND THEY DO NOT - TO MY KNOWLEDGE - INLCUDE FUCKING A WHORE FOR MONEY!

Im gonna hire an escort,

Then why come here to brag about it. Do you bro. Just know that your marriage is basically over - and you will never come back from this.

Life has only a few universal truths. And one of those truths is DO NOT cheat. In fact, you signed a pact. That's on you.

but i feel that I feel terribly guilty afterwards.

You WILL feel guilty. And you will deserve to feel that way. You are betraying a woman whom you claim to love.

We gripe about hypergamy all the time, so how much worse is it when a man does the same sort of shit. It's evil and wrong. I hope you feel a lot of guilt.

But i am at the same time sure that it will make me love her more and get connected to her better.

You are either A) on drugs, B) Lying or Trolling, or C) Delusional.

How to deal with the guilt?

Don't do the fucking dumbass thing you are proposing. How about that for starters.

The world is full of weak men like you. And this is a big part of the reason that women act as they do. They get burned by men like you, then get out into the RMP or SMP and take it out on the first nice guy who comes along.

I could tell you stories.

And let me be clear. I HAVE been unfaithful to girlfriends in the past (neither wife though) so that's why I know what I know.

Go to 2xc. They can help you better than we can.

OK, so far the comments have two guys who are married and been in a similar situation. Among the rest we have unknowns, a single dude who is hitting his stride but never had a serious LTR, and a frustrated virgin who is in no position to advise any men on anything (*cough @joyboy *cough)

First and foremost: if you know you'll feel guilty, then just don't do it. What's the point in taking such a risk if you can't even enjoy it?

Next: if you want your wife to modify her behavior, it's going to take some patience. MRP has a concept they call the "thousand foot tow rope". You know how when a boat tows another boat, it takes a long time for the towed one to change speeds or directions? It's like that.

And she might never change, leaving you to make some tough decisions.

Go to the Married Red Pill Subreddit and read their sidebar, especially these three books: "No More Mr. NiceGuy" by Dr. Robert Glover, "When I Say No I Feel Guilty" by Dr. Manuel Smith, and "Married Man Sex Life Primer" by Athol Kay.

Lead by example. Eat healthy. Exercise (mainly lifting weights). Invite her along for the gym, walks, or swims.

Be patient, but firm.

And if you can't cheat with reckless abandon to get your needs met without feeling terrible about it, then you aren't ready to do it. Doing it will only complicate your life and make it worse. That's one of the reasons I haven't cheated, though I get accused frequently enough that I sometimes think I ought to just so I can at least have the fun along with the accusations.

Additional resource: check out Rian Stone's YouTube channel, especially his sidebar series for the books I recommended. Those are intended to be companions and not replacements for the books.

Your wife nullified the monogamy agreement when she consciously decided to stop having sex with you.

With that said, don't open that door... because once you walk through it you're going to learn some things that might end your marriage. And no, you won't feel guilty at all.

You're going to learn that there is a world of women who love sex. You'll quickly remember what it's like to feel desired and physically satisfied. And you'll begin to resent your wife for denying you this while you still fulfilled your end of the bargain.

It will poison your marriage because you'll have a disconnect between the person satisfying your emotional needs and the person satisfying you physically. Worse, you'll probably start preferring the woman that sucks your dick on demand. Your wife will notice the change when you stop "pestering" her for the sex she has gotten accustomed to denying you and it will either make her get her shit together (unlikely, given that she's okay being overweight) or make her start acting like a bitch because now she's forced to cope with the real possibility of losing you.

I wouldn't recommend it, but not because of guilt or morals. I wouldn't recommend it because once you can attain sexual satisfaction without her, you'll start to see that you can have EVERYTHING without her.

There is no right answer here. Those who have a strong view are probably a bit self righteous or justifying their life choices.

It has to be the right choice for you in your situation. Most actions tend to have consequences, particularly if we take them as being serious. If we take them as trivial the consequences tend to be less trivial. Whores are an expensive sticking plaster to almost all situations except sexual inexperience. Perhaps learning to cheat could be a valid use of a whore if you wanted that? A long term solution will still be needed or a large whore fund. Unless you are very rich, a large whore fund would be better spent on yourself. Whores do not count to your body count as a man or change or cheapen you inside in any way but women (who would be cheapened in a similar situation) will never understand this and should never be told or discover it.

My background for what it is worth -married as a virgin, got divorced without being unfaithful, Currently cohabiting in faithful relationship, in past relationships have been unfaithful in secret, have also openly had two women at the same time, been with whores at one time in the past but not while in a relationship. In the end I am not really sure there is black and white in most sexual things a heterosexual man can do, just consequences.

In any enterprise you start -first know yourself. Going with whores for some married men is just like cranking out a wank to porn hub while she is out shopping -nothing if you don't get caught-, for others it will haunt their soul and may harm their relationship with their wife.

I was married for some time. I don't have the moral outrage others do about you seeing an escort. Do it if you want, but don't if it will make you feel super guilty. It sounds like she's willing to have sex and that you're just not attracted to her because of her weight. That could change-she could exercise.

Can you get it without getting an escort?

Have you talked to her about her weight issues?

Did you talk about opening the relationship (on your end)?

Does she see you as highly attractive (and/or higher status)?

Does she see you as the guy that can have side poon or as the stable workhorse that'll watch porn on his phone in his car out of frustration when she's not around?

You should be demanding her to get her shit together and work out, be as intense as you feel like being but don't cross the line into bullying territory.You have standards and she has to meet them

Dump her tf that’s embarrassing as hell to have an ugly gf

I made my wife go to the gym with me when she got fat. I also told her I'm not attracted to fat women.

You shouldn't feel guilty cause she doesn't respect you enough to stay fit so she can remain attractive enough to keep you. Plus you aren't even cheating your just paying to get your nut off