I am terrified when I'm about to do (or doing) something that might result in real sex. Examples from different years

  1. I'm about to ask a girl out on a date.. or about to talk to a girl with intention to fuck her later... so I talk to her but I ask directions and leave. or I avoid talking to her

  2. Accepting invite to a girl's house. I make up an excuse not to go.

  3. Inviting a girl to my house. We're 50m from my house and I feel she'd be down to check out my "pencil collection", so I don't invite her. I touch her a lot less than she touches me and we say goodbye. I feel her arms and torso and I respond with one hand hug.

  4. Escalating with a girl who appears ready to fuck when we are alone in a room after talking to her for hours while she's half naked. I make up excuses in my mind to not escalate, because I feel she might be down.

I had the exact same problem a decade ago. I had the same problem when I was fitter.

So problem is not my lack of fitness, 6 pack, social skills etc or other things. Say I'm lucky and one girl does everything for me and we fuck or LTR. After this ends, I am back to square one. I gotta fix this fear.

I fucked escorts. Since I didn't need to escalate, I was nervous but fine, but this was like fake sex. They just made me want to find a gf, someone who wants me and I want.

I can talk to any girl comfortably if I feel there's not going to be sex at the end. In a formal setting, I have no issues.

I don't remember seeing any positive relationship related interaction between my parents. Dad is one of the dumbest people on earth about people (I was worse, then I studied psychology and TRP like material). My mom is a crazy cunt. She'd be an ultra whore if she wasn't religious.

I am approaching a breaking point.