I was talking to this girl outside of class and a guy from class joins our conversation and doesn’t leave. Later classes, she asks him to send her stuff from class but they never act like they like each other. Every time I see her, the guy is there to but in and act like we’re a class friend group. I didn’t like her too too much but I wanted to know what to do next time something like this happens.
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[deleted] 9mo ago
[--removed--]
Orangudan 9mo ago
Treat him like a best friend, gain his trust and use him while showing her what a great magnanimous guy you are.
financehardo420 Should i (x1) 9mo ago
This shit happens very often; it can be annoying.
Best way to handle is as others have said just find a way to get her to invest ie walk away and have her chase. You could try to amog “oh shit is this your lil brother?” but as Matty said only if you’re going to win otherwise you’ll look shitty.
Kino and tbh just be like hey do you wanna get together sometime n just finish up this hw real fast? Lemme get your number rq and then get her to meet up away from sir fag a lot
Durek_The_Bald 9mo ago
Don't think you're in a rush, and don't think you have anything to prove. Be friendly, and involve him in the conversation, then be the first to leave (low investment, aloofness). If she's into you, she'll seek you out, and make it easy for you to isolate. If she doesn't, well, then she's not into you anyways (next).
Worst thing you can do is to think of it as competition, and trying to prove stuff. Behave like you have options (and preferably have them too).
No-Stress-Cat 9mo ago
Found a gold nugget, gentlemen!
User4566 9mo ago
Thats actually exactly what I did. I think she’s talking to him in front of me to get a reaction out of me. I haven’t been chasing any woman for about a month because of finals. Good news is: I can still pass my calc class so I’m basically studying my balls off for at least 4 hours a day.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 9mo ago
I sort of acknowledge them with "hey" and a nod and then immediately go back to my conversation like they didn't just come up and emphasize on the girl with kino
If she is even half in your frame she will do the same and he'll fuck off pretty quick
First-light 9mo ago
Be assertive in your conversation and be welcoming to him -like a host receiving a guest in his house. This asserts that this is your space and that you are sufficiently confident not to be worried by him. Read up on body language. Things like a friendly pat on his back at the right time are tells of your dominance -you touch him when you like to make him feel welcomed and affirmed.
If she is not that into you and is more into him this will not have any effect except to make you look a confident assertive guy (which has plenty of benefits) but if she is into you enough, it makes you stand out above him in quality as you are owning the space around yourself.
Some girls like to be competed for so much that effort against a rival may actually be worth a little more than quality in two fairly close quality males. If she is one of those and if he ups his game to hold her attention and starts getting all the attention you have little choice but to either escalate in the war for attention or walk. I would always walk -this will be a needy woman who you will always have to impress with beta and white knight behaviour.
If you feel all is going smooth and you want to really get rid of him, ask the girl to come somewhere with you next. It needs to be somewhere it would be strange if he asked to come too or you need to be confident enough of your strength in the situation to say something like "Hey can't a guy take a girl for a coffee without his pals tagging along" and at that point you are showing your hand and calling her to choose (she might say "oh come on its not a date, lets all go", so you have to feel you have the upper hand and the girl is interested but this should be a clear "back in your box" to him if it works.
Otherwise getting out clean and confident is important. Don't linger, don't bug out too early just to make sure you are not lingering or it looks like zero interest on your part. Cool, assertive guy who feels no threat is great but he also usually has to show some interest too. Many women genuinely think a guy is not interested if he does not make some move in response to their showing they are open to a move -like listening more attentively than usual to what he says, laughing at his jokes, looking at him over her shoulder, messing with her hair and so on. They will choose keen interest from adequate quality over total lack of interest from high quality because there is no benefit to them in disinterest. Also total long term disinterest from a quality guy can actually spur them to accept interest from an adequate guy -they need reassurance they are worthy. Do not underestimate women's inner weakness and need for affirmation. It can't be all cool aloof quality, there needs to be warmth and interest too.
Lone_Ranger 2 9mo ago
There's only one correct response - pull out the Glock and mag dump. Dude disrespects you? Time to turn some bodies cold. Extra points if you have a switch installed and mag extender - spray the entire area.
/s
Seriously - what is this stupid question? You don't own anyone - you don't own the exclusive rights to talk to this chick. Get used to it.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 9mo ago
Glocks are beta, real men go outside and fly back with their A10 Warthog
User4566 9mo ago
Completely get that, which is why when he did join the conversation, I would also talk to him as well. I think this backfired on me pretty badly, though because I think the girl and him are closer now. I’m not jaded, but I have had this happen in the past where guys would never talk to me unless they saw me talking to a girl. All of a sudden they act like we’re best friends and try to hijack my conversations.
Lone_Ranger 2 9mo ago
Honestly, your entire approach is just beyond repair - you are seeing other guys as your issue. It's just not your issue.
AbusiveFather1 9mo ago
OP is 0.0000003% of the population but is responsible for 90% of crimes...
Vermillion-Rx Admin 9mo ago
@AbusiveFather1 You're telling me you don't crash your M1 Abrams tank through the wall of the venue when a guy starts talking to your girl?
@Lone_Ranger
Lone_Ranger 2 9mo ago
You could be right, maybe my response is too beta. Would it be better if I called in an airstrike? Cluster bombs or reaper drone? What is the most alpha solution?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 9mo ago
A giga Chad would use a tactical nuke
Lone_Ranger 2 9mo ago
scorched earth is the only possible response.
I do this when I see guys talking to women that I am in no way in a relationship with. If there is even just one guy that talks to a woman in which I may have some vague interest, I just hit launch on the ICBM's and incinerate the continent.
That will learn 'em.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 9mo ago
This. I hope these noobs learn how to respond appropriately to unwanted male approaches
Lone_Ranger 2 9mo ago
100%.
If you see a guy talking to a woman that you are not in a relationship with, total planetary annihilation is the only sane response.
Even that might be a bit beta. I'm considering whether to initiate the Big Bang 2.0 next time I see that shit going down - an end to all matter and time itself. All matter, time, energy and space collapsing in on itself into a singular point - singularity.
That'll learn em.
oowiw 9mo ago
Laughs in Sigma MICLIC, shooting ropes
mattyanon Admin 9mo ago
One tactic is to do nothing to make it easy for him. If he's too scared to approach girls but can talk to you, then make it hard by not talking to him. Don't acknowledge, don't answer anything her says, look at him briefly then ignore.
If you can win some sort of game of wit or AMOG him then go for it, but only if you're going to win.
EurasianChad 1 9mo ago
Or if you can tell he's weak, just introduce him to the girls and have him fail horribly. Just sit back and watch.
It'll make him stronger (hopefully).
With guys who are calm & chill, I just allow them in why not. Bring up the vibe & the party
User4566 9mo ago
From now on, I’m doing this. I’m sick of guys pretending to be my friend when they see me talking to chicks. They wouldn’t say anything to me if it was just me and them in the room.
whytehorse2021 9mo ago
Briffault's law: It states that "the female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family". This means that in any romantic relationship, it is the woman who decides whether the relationship will happen or not, and she will only continue to engage with the man if he benefits her in some way, whether emotionally or materially.
AbusiveFather1 9mo ago
like everybody says - you do nothing; your future is more important than some random chick and a guy. like verm said if she's into you, she'll find her way to you. that's what you do in america, you focus on yourself.
it's another story if this is anywhere else in the world.