I’ve had 5 girls I’ve been chatting with for the last few months. Gotten blowjobs from a few but nothing sexual past that. Incoming “let’s be friends”. Why is being friends with a woman so insanely one sided? I cannot count the number of times my male friends have dumped on me and then I’ve pulled up “hey, wanna go sit and talk” and they show up with some drinks and then I get to dump on them.
With women, It’s just constant one sided dumping. You’ve gotta be available WHENEVER they want to rant about a relationship, hookup, friend they’re arguing with, job they hate, etc. Then, the second you text THEM because you want to talk about something, you’ll get a reply three days later on some “sorry, I was busy teehee”.
I hate being an ass, but I’ve started doing the same thing now. I always reply “sounds interesting but I’m not a therapist, pay someone for that” and then start talking about myself until they dip out.
Is there a woman alive that sees how one-sided their definition of friendship is? It’s honestly insane.
EurasianChad 1 1y ago
You don't have to reply to anything they say.
Have more things to do than text girls all day bro.
You aren't their therapist. You're literally being abused for your time/attention and you'll do all that for the hope of sex.
Fuck all that is my opinion.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 1y ago
You need to read the sidebar, really read it, ask questions, make sure you understand it.
Women dont' want their man to be (needy). They don't want a guy who wants to talk about his stuff to them.
They'd love a beta guy to dump their shit on though. They love that, an emotional tampon.
Don't expect them to give (you) anything.
Most women who have "actual" guy friends, there's 2 scenario's.
1) He's their emotional tampon, they can use him for stuff.
2) He limits them, doesn't let her dump stuff on them , doesn't let her take advantage of him. She actually is attracted to him, but doesn't let him know because she either knows he's above her and he'd dump her, or wouldn't even tap her, the ultimate disgrace for a woman.
I haven't really seen a different option, unless it's an actual friend group, you have friends who are her friends,etc. Even then, these scenario's are damn real.
OPStolen 1y ago
I’ve read the side bar man, I just always want to hope that stranger’s actually care about other people or want to listen or act how I’d act with empathy and respect. Before I was diagnosed with bipolar, I had really gotten into thinking “I don’t give a fuck about anyone, no one is ever going to drop even a pinky to help me If I collapse in the street”.
My biggest weakness is that I always THINK someone’s going to act a certain way and understand but EVERYONE is so DAMN selfish. I just really can’t get over how insanely selfish and self-centered everyone is.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 1y ago
But if you ask a question like that on here, Why will my girl not listen to my problems or my complaints. You will get the correct responses.
BECAUSE WOMEN DON'T CARE ABOUT MEN. They want their man to be better than them, to be their rock, their emotional control,etc.
I get it man, especially today. Most people are selfish and don't care about people. The young are just so into social media, they have a hard time communicating with real people, in person.
politeness, proper manners, have been erased badly over the years. It doesn't really mean those people cared about you years ago though. They just may have listend and been polite.
Strangers, people you don't know, you can't expect anything from.
OPStolen 1y ago
yea, that’s true. I really hate to say it but every interaction i’ve had with women accept ONE proved that men can’t be friends with women and women don’t care about ANYTHING a man strives for or has gone through. I just still can’t get over that. I remember reading in one of the books “women want the finished project, not the project in motion” or something like that. Just sucks not having support for the project. I feel like once the project is finished I’m never going to want to share that shit because I built it on my own. Why would I give anyone access to a nice car, nice house, fully established bank accounts, for free? Horrible concept.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 1y ago
hypergamy
you can't reason with it or negotiate it.
This is the anger phase you know. Once you accept it, you try to get what you want from it.
Me, i'm in a LTR, I'm old. I don't share/comingle finances. she has her stuff, I have mine and we split expenses 50/50.
I don't pay for her hair cuts, nails, spa or anything of course, that's on her
We only stay with each other, because we want to. Easy to leave.
That's the way I want it.
MrSupreme 1y ago
I think you're being categorized as a nice guy emotional tampon. Maybe you're talking too much, use text for logistics only.
whytehorse2021 1y ago
Treat female friends the same as you would male friends. Maintain a strong, masculine frame. If you wouldn't tolerate something from a guy, don't tolerate it from a gal. You friendzone THEM, not the other way around.
Problematic_Browser 1 1y ago
In my life I've met very VERY few women who I can consider friends. Most of them either:
Want to use me for money, energy, attention, or time
Want to fuck me
Women are unreliable friends because they don't understand the concept of reciprocity. They are accustomed to relating to men in a way that usually only benefits them without having to offer anything back to men
financehardo420 Should i (x1) 1y ago
look man call me old fashioned but men and women aren’t supposed to be friends with very few exceptions.
guys are friends w guys; girls are friends w girls.
Here’s the main things you’re doing wrong:
The fact that you’re allowing your relationships w chicks go from bjs to 1) not sex and 2) venting n bullshit instead of that.
You’re probably giving off extremely soft vibes and by the time a shawty hits you w the “let’s just be friends” that’s womanese for “sry you dried up my panties”. You’re probably texting these women wayyyy too much, not escalating properly during time together etc etc.
If you want it to stop you gotta change the way you interact w chicks and stop giving off beta bitch boi vibes.
Treat em like dirt they’ll stick to ya like mud
Kreaton01 1y ago
Because you're not really friends?
If you're willing to be the dumping ground for her venting, you're just not understanding that she doesn't have to value you at all to get some attention from you.
Female friends are different in the sense that most won't be interested in deep topics or guy hobbies like gaming, but they should otherwise feel the same if you really are friends.
I've gotta add from my experience to the other comments that it's not that women just don't care about men, they don't care about other women either. They will still take advantage of eachother whenever they can, just like these women have been doing with you.