It's this guy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmMi63KpCi4

It's important because I would have thought that by mid 30s a guy would have grown out of quest of going to fancy bars and trying to pick up 'HB9+'.

You say 'its not a status thing' and then you go on to say 'the ego would be stroked walking around with a hot girl'. Smdh.

I am guessing that the reason you are failing is because of your attitude. When you walk up to that blond girl you described, as a nervous hopeful, ready to 'shoot your shot', she looks at you and thinks -

"Now here comes another one...story of my life. Night after night, nervous spergy guys trying their pre-planned banter, their witty one-liners. He probably watched some PUA on youtube and now thinks he can talk his way into my pants. I wonder why he chose me? What is it that makes him interested in me? oh I know, he thinks that if he 'gets with me' then all his friends will be impressed. How quickly can I make this end."

You are just an annoyance to her. You're one of 100,000 guys that have tried to 'shoot their shot'. You're background noise while she waits for the true chad to show up.

Your attitude to women seems child like. You seem to think that a HB9+ is like a Porsche. that if you get one, others will think you are cool. To be mid 30s and spending your time in bars looking for HB9+'s with hot bodies... Where is that going to lead you?

When I asked you where you are on the scale, you said you didn't know. I'm going to guess you are average, which is a 5. Because most people are average. No shame in that. If you were a 10, you would have said 10. Guys that are a 10 know they are a 10. It's obvious to them. If you were a 10, and didn't know that you were a 10, then you would not be a 10 because self confidence bordering on arrogance is a prerequisite of being a 10. Also, if you were a 10 you would know for sure that HB9+ women are not better in bed than 5s.

So lets go back to that blond HB9.5 hanging out at the bar. She might be interested in an ultra chad for a pick up. A tall, ripped, handsome, funny, charming guy with a square jaw. She might not. A 9.5 women thinks that she deserves a celebrity, because that is how she is treated. She thinks that her level is Chris Pine.

She dreams of a guy like Chris Pine arriving in a limo, and whisking her off to a the waiting helicopter that will bring her to the yacht where she will spend the rest of her life.

So please tell me, what does she see in you? what do you have to offer? Tell me why a HB9 is 'not that far of a reach for you'

And to add to that for OP: If the interaction is beginning to feel like an interview, you are "just talking". This is the point where most people panic and fumble things. How do I not make it an interview? By saying things that don't make the exchange feel like an interview. In male female interactions, this is achieved most often through flirting.

Instead of asking questions, make observations and assumptions of the girl or the environment you are in. Observations is easy to learn, assumptions will be challenging at first, but you will eventually become confident. You become confident because you realize you could literally say anything. List of shit you could say is literally infinite.

All it takes is CONSISTENT practice. Put yourself out there, talk to anyone, CONSISTENTLY. Do it every fucking day. Talk to strangers and people you know. Just interact with people more for God's sake. You will be a certified rizzler within 6 months if you make interactions with 10 people a day. An interaction could simply be smiling and nodding your head either up or down whenever you make eye contact with the other person. Make a challenge list. Today I will Smile at 10 passing strangers Give 5 people a geuine compliment they don't hear often Make 10 cougars smile Get a handjob from a gilf

Make the challengers harder. Have fun with the adrenaline and being a rizzler in no time. Do these every fucking day. Do not spend a single day in your room from now

Be genuinely interested in the person you are talking to. I like to assume they know secrets that if I knew would improve my life experiences. I do this mainly because it puts me in the right headspace. Even do this to people who are evidently stupid or of no use to you. You will learn a lot about different types of people and human nature very quickly. I highly recommend reading Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment on top of this. This treasure of a literature is a short-cut to attaining a masterful understanding of psychology and human nature in general. Any psychologist worth a peny would back this claim.

Practicing talking to people and improving my social skills + reading crime and punishment was a very enjoyable experience for me. My social skills improved dramatically within a year. It's something you have to keep improving your whole life. The more successful interactions you have with people, the better you get at it. Don't be reclusive and put yourself out there. You will be a masterful rizzler in no time.

Talk to people as much as you can consistently over the span of your entire life. Forget everything else, and just do this. You'll see drastic improvements within a month. Start with thoughtful compliments and observations as a starting point. Once you get comfortable with that, move into assumptions. They can be interesting, funny, negs, all of these combined. I could go into this all day. But it's pointless, because you will come up with your own shit. Just practice practice practice.

First interaction with a stranger, I STFU, activate my ears, listen and become curious in the other person. That's it. Smile more when appropriate to put the person at ease. eg. You are meeting the person for the first time in awhile, smile MORE. Practice that, and you will find your own style of charm. Anyone can be charismatic. I've seen un-charismatic, unattrative mofos BECOME charismatic. Don't make any excuses for yourself.

I haven't felt any social anxiety in my last 5 years. My life lead me to circumstances where I had to be social. Thanks to my fear of missing out (which I've also overcome) I had to become more and more social. You will naturally get better the more you do it. you just gotta DO IT.

It's good to ask questions. The next level from here is to ask better questions. Instead of searching for the answers, ask yourself if you are asking the right questions.

Lastly (I have a lot more, but I'll have to start charging at this rate.. lol) Improve your social ediquette. Table manners, don't be rude, don't be a prick. Make the other person feel you are genuinely interested in them. YOU are the experience. I am still learning a lot of new skills myself. It's crazy helpful in developing your social skills. Social ediquette is literally a solid yet timeless framework of desirable human behaviour.

A lot of anxiety comes from not learning these behaviours. A lot of kids are rude not on purpose, but no one has taught them that behaviour is undesirable. They don't understand the negative social implications of being rude.

So to summarize everything @bluepilldoctor

Talk to people as much as you can consistently over the span of your entire life. Practice practice practice.

Once you get good at this, everything else will fall into place. They will often lead into deeper conversations because of the headspace you're in. You will only achieve this headspace if you... PRACTICE the basics!

EARS - Improve listening skills.

Improve your social etiquette. Social etiquette takes up to a whole life time to master, especially in our current state. Multiple ethnicity which means multiple cultures, and multiple sets of social etiquette. Asians - Take your shoes off when entering their home. Don't step on their entrance door frame. Black people: Buy them KFC when they are feeling down Caucasian - Get them starbucks coffee unprompted. Point is, there is so much to this you cannot finish learning it.

Stay humble. Being humble has gotten me laid 100x more than acting arrogant. Girls who are attracted to arrogant personalities are not people who will assist in your personal development. The solid girls after 20 - 23 will prefer a humble but obviously put together competent guy. Even for a ONS. Quite confidence > arrogance to put more accurately.

Before searching for the answers, ask yourself, are you asking the right questions?

If I were you, I'd be searching for social exercises to practice, and ways to improve my practice social routine. I wouldn't even try get laid at this point. When you master all this, getting laid is gonna be boring compared to the other shit I got going on. I am too busy, and too burnt out by the end of the day to stay erect enough anyway. The best thing about this all this is, having good social skills will get you to places you never thought possible. Better get practicing.

Good luck trooper

who said I wanted kids with these girls?