I havent seen my fwb in a few weeks but last night we hung out. She came over and everything was good. We had sex and she asked me if ive "been with" other girls. I told her "Sometimes" .. She looked a bit sad. I asked out of curiosity and she told me shes not seeing anyone right now. (I dont believe this answer anyways)
I answered truthfully because were not exclusive, and plus she saw my IG stories of me on a date with another girl, Im about 100% sure she was following up on that and was maybe jealous and wanted to let me know she knew, or bring it up herself.
Now, I know nothing was wrong with my answer, but I do wanna get exclusive with this girl. So in this specific case, Im not sure if adding more competition anxiety was a good thing, but neither was saying "no im only seeing you" which would be both low value and clearly lying. I also was not sure if i shouldve let her known that I was interested in a serious relationship with her in that exact moment. Mainly because she may think the other girl is more of a serious thing and it could discourage her. The truth is the other girl is just a plate.
In the past I had a fwb i really liked, she asked me the same thing, and i told her "sometimes"..after maybe a few weeks she wanted to go exclusive with me. And we did, it ended up being one of my best relationships. Im hoping for a similar situation, where the seed has been planted.
Just wondering if this is a similar situation. Do girls ask if youre seeing other girls when theyre heavily considering going exclusive?
whytehorse2021 1mo ago
Here's the modern female dating strategy:
So she's asking if you're pussy-whipped. You said no because you have options. So now she's with-holding sex until you cave in.
mattyanon Admin 1mo ago
Trying to pin you down.
Why???
Often yes..... but sometimes they're just checking where they stand..... or even checking that you're not getting too attached.
In this case, as she says she's being exclusive.... she's trying for a rl
Testme 1mo ago
Because she wants to know how much competition she has and whether you are devoted to her or not and what the chances are that you might be transmitting a disease to her are, for starters.
Hondurak 1mo ago
Anything wrong with my answer if i wanted exclusivity with her? Should I have maybe said more, or did i say enough to get the hamster going.
Testme 1mo ago
The problem with your answer was (among other things) that it was factual. Never answer a factual question from a girl no matter what it is, ever. If she asks you what time it is, say "What do I look like? A clock?" or "It's time for me to spank you." It's simple: do not EVER answer a factual question from a girl because it is subordinate behavior and she will lose a little respect for you every time you answer. In the case of her question, a good option would have been to tease her for being jealous.
If you judge that she should know about something from your past or about your current dating activity, then YOU should decide what that information is and when and how to tell her. She should not be making that decision.
Dxmx99 1mo ago
I want to know what you're approach was to adopting that mindset where you can immediately string together an illogical response on the fly.
Personally I can sometimes but usually im better at agree and amplify for shit tests or doing actionable things. If some chick asked for the time, I'd probably just tell them. I likely would stop to think of something else to say but just go with saying the time and then move on to something else.
(Not OP)
redpillschool Admin 1mo ago
"Sometimes" was good. Elusive and to the point.
She wants to lock you down, she can put in the work. Keep at least somewhat aloof.
Hondurak 1mo ago
Should I have at least expressed interest in something serious with her in that moment? I think that maybe being too aloof may send the wrong answer. It may work if you want more sex, but what about LTR? Girls live by a saying that if a guy wants them then guys are very clear about it, anything short of that is basically a soft rejection. Its basically why girls only date guys who pursue them and not the other way around.
Typo-MAGAshiv 1 1mo ago
FFS dude, relax. You worry way too much, to the point that you sound like a chick.
Go read the sidebar, specifically HumanSockPuppet's Guide to Managing Your Bitches.
There's a segment in there, and a decade plus of experience from thousands of men at both TRP and MRP has reinforced it, which you need to hammer into your skull [paraphrasing here]:
Do not offer commitment unsolicited. Let her seek it from you.
Ignore their stupid mouth-noises and pay attention to their actions.
Horse shit. If she's not pursuing you as well, then she's not that attracted.
RPU_mike Admin 1mo ago
If you know nothing is wrong with your answer, you could just laugh and say "you're currently my favorite." You could treat it like a shit test and say, "how about you, are you seeing other women?" Better yet, you could just see where it goes and not overthink it. Clearly she likes you.
Intrepid_Place53900 1mo ago
(do girls ask if you are seeing other girls)
Yes, if they are interested in you.
Some girls won't give you much time to go exclusive.
some girls will let you take your time, they are afraid you'll say no , and/or are enjoying themselves too much to push.
Always assume she's lying with her answers. She'll say whatever she thinks will benefit her.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
For the love of God man, read the sidebar, rational male series, book of Pook, 50 shades of red, etc
You should not be at this low a level of understanding of RP for as long as you've been active on here
Typo-MAGAshiv 1 1mo ago
This has applied to a lot of askTRP posts lately.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
I really wish more users would just say "read the sidebar" or something instead of feeding stupid questions
No-Stress-Cat 1mo ago
Her: "Are you seeing other girls?"
Me: Take off your panties, now.
Gilles 1mo ago
It's not low value to show comfort if she's clearly into you, which it seems. If you intend to be exclusive with her, you should have given her reassurance. It's not too late to text her and give her some comfort.
If she was avoiding you like the plague and taking hours to reply to every single text, then Yes it would demonstrate low value to give comfort. But that doesn't sound like your situation.
Use trp as a set of guidelines and not iron rules. This whole low/high value mindset is stupid
Hondurak 1mo ago
Slightly so, because the past 2 weeks its been very difficult to see her, to the point i thought she was ghosting me. Its sort of why I didnt really feel too confident expressing my need to go exclsuvie with her IN THAT MOMENT... it was literally our first time seeing each other in 2.5 weeks. I was basically trying to keep my cool.
But now, I know where she stands, and im able to collect my thoughts and reciprocate since its what i do want, but im not sure if she feels rejected, and this will give me problems again. Its also her fault for asking something AFTER not seeing me for a while, bunch of mixed signals.