That's a tough one. I am in a very similar situation and It seems like a rock and a hard place type deal. I think that breaking up with her would be a lot easier if you had a serious project to focus on to keep your mind off the breakup. Like starting a business or something, once it gets going you could break things off and absorb yourself in work for a while. But I'm not really sure.

There is a 12 year age gap with her being the senior this is actually an extremely shit deal for you. When you are 30 she will be 42. Think about that for a moment. You will have hot 23 year olds still trying to fuck your brains out while she wrinkles and sags when you are 40 her looks will have shot down to 52 while palatable 30 yos still want your cack.

You're going to be hitting your peak stride of work /life and SMV at 40 where your finances and fitness are at a relatively balanced high and your woman will be in menopause. Seriously think about that. There is a reason men and women usually date with woman as a junior.

That being said, you should be cordial. It's a no fault breakup and at 36 she really fucking needs to start looking for a replacement 3-4 years ago

You could bullshit that you want kids and marriage as a reason for wanting to split, but at the same time she could just start going on about how she'll change that for you which might lead to a messy breakup if you have to pivot.

It's not easy to do no fault breakups unless you have a substantial life difference. You could tell her you're pretty young and that it's starting to weigh on you how much commitment actually means for the rest of your life (seeing as you two started dating when you were basically just 21, that's pretty young to be committed as a man)

I think some other guys might have a better idea how to do no fault breakups. My only experience dropping girls are faulted exits where I was deeply unhappy with their actions. My take isn't much better without that exp, I think other guys will have an answer, just wanted to give the rest of my rationale

Edit: P.S. don't feel like a dick, she was shooting way fucking young for a boyfriend, i don't know what the hell she was expecting, it was plain fucking dumb from a female dating standpoint

It's actually not that hard.

First thing to do, is be very very open with her. "I have deep feelings for you, and I appreciate everything you are, but I absolutely need to fuck other girls."

This does sound hard.

First off, I would prepare yourself logistically so you can leave easily. This will make it easier for you as the psychological stress of moving house is significant as well as breaking up a relationship.

If it were not for the age thing, one might be thinking the possibilities of a lot of casual sex wouldn't make up for losing a sound relationship like that but as it is, you really don't want to end up being carer to a perimenopausal woman when you are in your prime for attractiveness and productivity in life. You do need to do something. The mental hassle of women at that age is a huge drain on a man.

I think be as honest with her as you can kindly. You may not get what you want, it may go badly but if you are logistically prepared then OK, you are out the door. But if you are honest there is a chance you might get what you want -the chance to bang her still. Everything gets more complicated when you lie because then she is trying to fix things that are not there and is ignoring the real problem.

I would note that carrying on with her part time is maybe not ideal for you. Its comfort and safety but its a tether too. If its a help as you move into a new lifestyle OK but that is quite a selfish position and is unlikely to end well. If its for the long term, it could tether you from making progress because she is always basically the reserve shag when things get lonely and you become as dependent and locked into that as you were before when it comes to actually getting a LTR with someone hot and younger than you -which when you are done having fun is likely to be your end game.

Do it in a way that lets her react. Sit her down, and lay it out kind of thing.

Be straight about what you want (break up), but be vague (or flat out bullshit her) about why (her age, wanting to fuck other women etc.). No need for her to know why.

There's really no "right way" to dump a woman from a woman's perspective. They can't deal with rejection, so any way of doing it is going to be the wrong way. If you do A, you should've done B. And if you do B, you should've done A.

Point is, she's probably going to need to be a victim, and for you to be a villain. So just let her hamster spin it the way it wants, but don't get suckered into any arguments. "I understand you feel that way" is a good phrase to use. Any time you want to defend yourself, just say that instead.

If she's nuts (which I suspect she might be, given your age difference), record the conversation for safety, in case of any accusation beyond just normal hamster things.

Basically, just let her vent, and don't take any of it too seriously. You know, like how you would with a child that's having a tough time. Listen as much as possible, speak as little as possible, a bit of encouragement and "I understand", and you're golden.

Good luck. You're making the right decision.

"This isn't working for me anymore. Goodbye."

Also, this is why you never put yourself in a position where a woman has power over you. When a woman knows she has power over you, she loses respect for you and becomes a cunt. When you even suggest that you want something outside of her demands, you better have a place to stay or she's gonna browbeat you into compliance.

before you do anything, find another place to live and have it lined up.

You have furniture and stuff in her place? Get it lined up to move, get your valuables in a safe place, where she doesn't have access.

many women can go bat shit crazy when you break up with them, be prepared.

like others have said here, don't mention about reasons, just that you are only 24 and you think you need to live life more, something like that. She may freak or ask what she can do, whatever. You can't control her reaction, but you can be prepared for the worst.

Some of the older guys may remember this time-tested method. You say,

“I break with thee. I break with thee. I break with thee.”

Then you throw dog poop on her shoes.

https://youtu.be/jdcmaaHkkhY

But at the same time, I don't want to give up this relationship (

You gotta choose, dude.