Ive always struggled with actually being horny on dates. Its fucking up my game and not getting me in the right state of mind and body to start making moves. My body is constantly filled with cortisol while hanging out one on one with a girl and its preventing me from wanting to get intimate and killing my libido. Help me out please its getting out of hand.
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No-Stress-Cat 3mo ago
I presume your physician diagnosed you with Cushing Syndrome. What medications did he prescribe for you? Are you taking them?
oowiw 3mo ago
I remind myself that social anxiety may have made sense once upon a time, where social ostracization could mean having to struggle vs nature on your own, and social mistakes could lead to unchecked violence from other males, either of which could be fatal.
Then I remind myself that this is no longer the case, and whatever instincts we have to fear social mistakes are no longer appropriate to the level of safety, anonymity and community we have today.
Your instincts are warning you that fucking around with women could get you murdered by her man or kicked out of your community. In modern reality, these outcomes are incredibly unlikely, your instincts are just out of whack.
The same way, if you're afraid of snakes, you go to the zoo and think "I feel the fear but I know I am safe because of the glass" - this applies to social anxiety as well - remind yourself the fear is natural but not accurate, it's giving you a warning about something that does not apply in this sitation.
EurasianChad 1 3mo ago
Detach from the outcome completely.
Meditation daily. But if you don't have that habit, do it the day of the date. 10-20 mins is good enough. Gets you out of your head because you obviously care too much about making this work. No abundance yet but its cool, we all start somewhere.
Then focus on enjoying instead of getting an outcome. This is not a gym session. This is not an MMA camp where you're training for a fight. This is an interaction between two humans. C'mon man.
You got this.
Lone_Ranger 1 3mo ago
Easy solution, don't go out on 'dates'. Dates are retarded.
By dates, I mean those engagements where a guy takes a woman out to a restaurant or some other such activity, with the express purpose of entertaining her, usually by way of commercial expenditure, so that she can pass judgement on whether he is a good prospect for providing cash and provisions.
Dates are a disaster. If you are on a date, you are in the female frame. You are the performing seal, and this is why you are feeling nervous. She is basically saying, dance monkey boy, and you are worried about all the different ways in which you can fail. Not being talkative enough, being too flirty, not being flirty enough, not tipping enough, not opening her door etc etc etc.
A date is basically the waltz of the betas, and the women love it.
Men only agree to it because they think that it will lead to sex. But here's the rub - the women who go on dates are not actually interested in sex. If they were interested in sex, all they need do is go and sit at a bar or fire up an app. Women that seek out dates are seeking out validation, attention and resources.
And here comes the rub: if you do manage to jump through all the hoops (good monkey boy!) you are LESS LIKELY to get pussy. That's right. Your effort and expenditure will result in her saying to herself "He's a good prospect, I better take it slow with him, so that he doesn't realise that I am a slut".
That's where 'dating' gets you. You get to pay to perform, for a lower chance of sex.
Go out with your hommies. Go and have fun. Take the pressure of yourself. You might meet some girls during your evenings out, talk to them. Its lower pressure, there's nothing riding on it. If she is acting like a bitch, just move on.
Dating gives women all the leverage, and puts them in the driving seat. Just say no.
A lot of the mainstream media outlets have run stories about how dating is dying. How men are not interested in the 1950s charade anymore.
imtranscending 3mo ago
Read stoicism and start practicing negative visualization. Check out this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLwL3uCmTLM
MrSupreme 3mo ago
Flirt a lot with other women, maybe a compliment on a random girl,no need to ask for numbers or anything just get used to women being receptive.
redhawkes 2 3mo ago
Be present. This shit only happens when you're stuck in your head instead of njoying the moment. The missing piece is called outcome independence. Maybe meditate daily if that helps.
You can also trick your mind and instead of anxiety, think of it as excitement.
In other words, stop giving a fuck.
EurasianChad 1 3mo ago
Meditation is key bro. Its literally like lifting weights, except for the mind.
Internal validation is where you can generate power from the source. Sounds woo-woo but its fucking true.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3mo ago
Stop being stressed out on dates and enjoy them???