Hey guys, just on the lookout for some wise advice. I have been seeing this girl for the last month and it's has been going well. We originally met on Hinge and hit it off from the first date. Great chemistry, escalation and direct home lay. We have been out together quite a few more times alternating between sleeping at my place amd hers. Before meeting her I was enjoying the multiple plates game getting one or two weekly dates off from tinder or hinge. However since I have been going out this girl I have lost interest in that as I really enjoy my time with her and not just the sex. I have admittedly swallowed the red pill properly recently however I do feel I might want a LTR out of this current relationship. My simple question to the pill therefore is the following: what's the TRP approach to LTR and how does one not fuck one up by turning into a beta?
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mattyanon Admin 2y ago
things change man. things change. women first get you 100% committed, then they mysteriously "go off sex" when they think they've got you.
Being exclusive is inherently beta and unattractive.
When you go exclusive things start to go downhill. You're less of a challenge, less exciting. She starts to think if she could get better. Demands increase, sexual interest decreases.
Commitment is the start of the slippery downhill slope.
If you want to not ruin it, don't be exclusive.,
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TwoInchesOfShaft 2y ago
Also, even though there’s lots of girls with issues, the ones you would LTR likely aren’t some of them, meaning you can try to tell them you won’t be exclusive, but a girl that’s raised right and has a dad will break it off. I’ve had that in the past, and good for her. I am also not of the opinion that sex drive has to decrease, at lost not in my experience. A LTR is a risk and one needs to decide for oneself if the risk is worth the gains. As long as the guy is not oblivious to the issues that can come up, it’s doable.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
How long though?
My experience is that things are great for 2 years, kind of ok for 1 year, and after that things are on a decline of decreasing female interest and effort as she feels she's "got you".
I'm not sure what the gains are. If you have access to sex outside of a LTR, a long term relationship in my experience has been nothing but downsides
TwoInchesOfShaft 2y ago
Six years is my longest run without any decrease in enthusiasm or interest.
The upside is in a supporter that does anything to make your life easier. Clearly, it’s not without payback from my side, but I’m getting a pretty nice deal.
Whisper or HSP are as far as I remember also in committed relationships and living arrangements with 2-3 women.
The downside to a great LTR is the male urge for new and other women that can’t be satisfied with monogamy. The downside never was in my opinion that no woman can ever be handled with ease, cause that does not hold true I think. Women are natural followers.
Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely not making the case for jumping into LTRs without knowing what you are doing and knowing how to mitigate downside risk. I am just objecting to the claim that it can’t ever be good.
Also, I believe the LTR should be worth it the moment you are in it, not in 5 or 10 years because you want children or something else out of it. The LTR must be good and contributing to your life in a very positive manner all the time. Therefore, I am also not making the case for investing for later, but for an LTR with immediate returns (after a training and learning phase).
Gilles 2y ago
Asking a question like this will surely lead you to ruin a relationship. You have to be fearless - if you start this worrying shit you're done.
EurasianChad 1 2y ago
Bingo.
Desire without attachment is key.
Also called outcome independence in TRP.
Always stay true to your principles. Always stay true to your purpose. Always stay true to yourself
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pofkaf 1 2y ago
You have alot of learning to do. My simple advice would be to NOT enter a relationship with her, and keep spinning plates instead.
But since you're here looking for validation, and are going to LTR anyways, here's a more in-depth answer.
You do not initiate "the talk." I repeat. DO NOT INITIATE "THE TALK." She must ask you for your commitment. At that point, you can decide to either give it to her, or let it hang in the air for awhile longer. Your commitment is your most valuable asset as a man; give it wisely.
Overall, LTRs require balance. Not "compromise" as the secular feminists say. Balance. She takes care of your needs (sex, food, keeping your life as stress free as possible), and you take care of her needs (money, attention, safety). When one side starts lacking, the relationship starts cracking.
Showcase both alpha and beta qualities. It's good to direct her both in and out of the bedroom. It's also okay to listen to her when she needs to talk about her day.
With that said, stay true to your mission and don't let her pussy guide your choices.
MrSupreme 2y ago
LTR is a whole different game than the usual juggling with a few plates. It requires strong frame and some leadership skills, and also on longer relations, eventually,even some beta traits like displaying more emotions and caring for her feelings/opinions. If you recently swallowed the red pill I suggest you game some more women and take your time with different short term flings. Sounds a bit like oneitis