Struggled with this my whole life, brother and I'm only coming to terms with being confident in myself.

I've been in shape and fat to back to in shape at 41. Just by getting fit, even the basic progress from 3 months lifting. All I need to do is look around at a)people my own age to feel confident; the older you get, you'll see your buddies from high school's test/balls/lust for life just recede like their hairline.

The older you get the easier it gets. Basically, just keep on improving. You'll get the odd wise ass comment; and you'll even do things you'll cringe at down the line on the way; but you don't let any of that shit bother you, laugh it off and keep getting better basically.

The more you lift, eat well, exercise, push your limits, learn new things. The more you retain, the more doors that open and the better life becomes.

A lot of my hope in finding TRP was to improve my poor skills with women, I was that bad. Honestly though you stay the course with betterment , women will literally be throwing themselves at you.

You'll get so good that you know you could walk in to any decent size town knowing (if you wanted) you could sleep with a gorgeous woman any night of the week. You basically stop caring.

You don't even need to be classicaly handsome ; but it works more times (pulling attractive women) if you are in decent shape ; it does open up expressions of respect and interest at times.

I always tell myself “I’m not good enough for her” whenever I go out to bars or at school.

Stop doing that.

When you say shit like that, when you "downtalk" yourself like that, you are programming yourself to fail.

Immediately cease any negative self-talk.

I feel inferior to them because girls have all the friends and sex in the world and I have only had sex a handful of times in my life.

A) Take the pussy off the pedestal.

B) "a handful of times" is significant. You should know by now that you can do it again.

From your post title:

How to build self esteem

Achievement. Conquer some obstacles. Get out of your comfort zone and start conquering.

It's a journey getting there.

There's a cutoff point where you decide to "take profits" and not "invest in the future". You need to let go of your need to be taken care of. This involves accepting your mortality. And needs to be balanced by your life mission, by which you deal with existential angst.

I would recommend Woujo's book, Transcending the Tribe.

I'm also still working on myself. So far what has helped me a lot was trying amused mastery. Basically you treat girls like the little brats that they are. The philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer (if I spelled the name correctly) wrote an essay "on women" where he basically says that women are a sort of middle thing between men and children. This was eye opening to me.

Like children, women will say they want to be taken seriously and treated as equals and they say they know what they're doing. But give a child a bottle of Coca Cola and he will drink it in the evening and then be unable to sleep. They just say and do whatever, is what I'm trying to say. You need to know when to listen and when to ignore and one thing that you absolutely need to ignore is that women want to be treated es equals. When they say it, nod but then treat them like children anyway. Trust me, they love it. You can't take them too seriously.

Second point is, you're the man. By nature, you're really already superior to any woman. Yes, any. All the hot bitches have more orbiters than they can count. They want a guy like YOU to treat them like nothing special, so they can finally have a guy that they can look up to. Respect is when the tingles happen and once that is going, you are firmly in the driver's seat until you lose frame.

Just be arrogant bro.

Dude, it just jumps off the page when I read your post. The problem, and the solution, are so obvious.

Re-read your post carefully.

"I don’t ever feel like I’m good enough"

"I was never very good with women"

"I have only had sex a handful of times in my life."

You see where the issue is? This is an issue for millions of young men. They have turned pussy into a sort of currency, and the men with the most pussy are the 'richest' of men. Modern men treat success with women as a proxy for success in life.

Your self identity has become entirely dependent on the amount of pussy you get. This is a terrible way to live, for all mankind. It means that we are entirely dependent on women. I see it everywhere I go - young men are devoting their lives to the service of women - going to the gym to work out to get that six pack to impress women, putting gel in their hair....its like women have collectively said 'dance monkey boy' and all the men obey.

The result is a generation of men that fall into two categories - incels and chads. Both are defined by one thing - how much pussy they get.

The solution is obvious - you need to think about men of the past. What did they do? Men like Socrates, Churchill and Einstein. They did great things, and they didn't care how much pussy they got.

The trick to a better life as a man is to make yourself as independent from women as possible. Do not live in servitude to them. There is so much more to life.

Pussy is fun, but essentially worthless. Don't devote your life to it. Friendships, networks, career, family.

Men have built the known world. All of philosophy, art, culture and science. Take part in life dude.