I've started dating a woman who's been in a total of two relationships. The first was in her early 20s with an Alpha guy who dumped her after a year. She describes him as "alpha but toxic" and she had to take a year out to "rebuild herself". He was in the habit of negging and controlling everything she did, his main weaknesses seem to be a few insecurities she remembers. He's a wealthy professional at this stage and he was also her first.

The second and the longest running ( 4 years) was a classic beta who failed to excite her in any meaningful way, likely was chosen for how sweet and safe he was compared to the last. A direct contrast who she says "Just wasn't enough for me". She dumped him

Now she's been rather honest about her past and I've gleaned whatever I can to establish the extent of her Alpha Widow scenario. This Alpha ex has crossed paths with her before whilst dating Beta bob a few years ago. He text her for a coffee and catchup and she said she's in a "Happy relationship" and didn't entertain him and also told her partner about it allegedly.

In any case I've been in this scenario once before with an ex who was cheated on and still prattling on about an ex. I essentially had to outclass the past to establish a new higher bar. It was a massive pain in the ass but I suppose it did make me a better man overall and worked, she eventually never spoke of him. Although this current girl has not spoken to this Alpha ex for several years, I'm aware that he is tougher competition than the last guy I dealt with and will likely require extensive effort to beat in her mind if she's making comparisons. Is there any nuance to these scenarios? Am I overthinking it considering he's not her last ex? Is this a ticking time bomb if I do nothing?