I’ve built my life up to the point where objectively I’m doing good. I’m 20 years old, on my way to being a structural engineer as soon as I graduate college, good physique from lifting and dieting, I always have had a passion for music so I started being a frontman for a band and that has been really fulfilling, and I now get enough girls coming after me from the above things to be all set in the pussy department. But anytime I have to spend more than a couple hours with myself alone I just think about how much I hate myself. Ill go out with friends and hook up with girls to try and cope but at the end of the night when I go home I just feel like a piece of shit; so I’m at the point where it doesn’t even feel worth it. I thought all of these things would improve once my life improved but it has maybe even gotten worse. What am I supposed to do?
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rmd123 10mo ago
Hey man. 23, engineer, In a band myself. I've been where you're at to some degree. It's funny how once we get what we want, it's always sweet for a moment, then we're just left with ourselves again. I can't tell you what you're supposed to do. You gotta figure that out for yourself, but I can maybe point you in a general direction.
I'd recommend getting some intentional alone time more frequently. Just quiet walks with no music, or meditation. Learning to be at peace with yourself alone is so key. People will notice that about you. Also know what part inside of you you're running from. Gratitude helps a lot too. But honestly, I've taken my life so seriously for the longest time. Just being able to laugh at yourself and to take this funny human situation we found ourselves in can take off all the pressure like that. I still take my life seriously because I believe it matters. But if shit hits the fan and my mood is piss poor, I just try to laugh it off. I'll probably still feel like shit after, but the humor and ability to not take myself so seriously helps a ton. I'm just coming to realize that I'll never be indefinitely fulfilled on this Earth and it makes smelling the roses so much sweeter.
Not quite redpill brand advice, but advice from a guy who strives to be rp. Hope you start feeling better soon.
esandman01 10mo ago
Thanks for the reply, this really helped. I think you’re right about not taking things too seriously.
EurasianChad 1 10mo ago
Are you doing these things based on your own principles, or because someone said do this to be good enough for approval?
You have to seek your own internal validation over external.
esandman01 10mo ago
Some of the things I do are for other peoples approval and so that I can actually survive. If it were truly up to me I would do music full time as a career instead of engineering but it makes no money and I was way too successful in school to waste my potential on that. the lifting and music stuff I do solely because I want to.
Lone_Ranger 2 10mo ago
First of all, you are very young. It's to be expected that you haven't worked out the meaning of life at aged 20!
Secondly, are you living your life for you? Are you trying new things, esp in terms of broadening your horizons? Learning?
I remember what it was like when I was 20 - I had lots of guy friends and a decent social circle ....but....there was a tacit agreement that nobody every talked about anything important, we spent the whole time joking around, getting drunk and on the pull. We called it 'chasing chicks and being dicks'.
Make sure you have time in your life for serious reflection. Try all sorts of things - reading, meditation and philosophy. My personally, I agree with the statement that 'an unexamined life is not worth living'.
Too many people just go through life on auto pilot. They never ask themselves if they are living for the way they want to live.
coolsocks00 1 10mo ago
The red pill is mainly about sexual dynamics, and a toolkit to navigate the sexual marketplace. If anyone says otherwise, they are late to the game, and think it can be whatever they like.
That means that the main purpose here is for you to learn how to get your dick wet with the women you like, in the way that you like.
That alone is a decent foundation for an enjoyable life. It is not a "solution" or a "way of life" however (at least not for most).
You'll have to seek fulfilment and purpose in other areas of life. You're only 20 which means you're barely not a kid anymore.
Your life has barely started, and judging from my own and many other guys' experience, you'll start to really hit your stride mentally after your early 20s.