Long short story: I've got bullied in school-high school where people made fun of my face until I moved. Then by looking at what girls on the internet (and in real life) expect from guys, I see I don't meet any standard and it makes me feel worthless and depressed.

I work out, dress well, take care of my skin, and am learning a high-income skill to make money on the internet, but so far I still see myself as someone unattractive physically.

While writing this post, I'm 5'9 at 17yo, and where I live I always see taller and more attractive men than me. It's not rare when my mother notices them and starts talking about them, in the process I get sad because I'm nowhere near that, and she also mocks my father appearance (I'm a younger taller version than him).

My insecurities come from what I've written above and the internet, but I'm tired of living like this. It's draining and exhausting to see better-looking men than me, while I've always struggled with my looks and trying to get a gf.

If you read to this far, thanks for your time, I'd appreciate suggestions, I could develop more on some points if you need it.