So I made a thread about it before: https://www.forums.red/p/asktrp/320059/how_did_i_fuck_up_this_bad
Basically she approached me, couldn't stop telling me how amazing I am and a couple weeks later, left me for another guy. It took me weeks to figure out why that is but I think the answer is clear. I made myself out to be a loser with no options.
She asked me how many girls I fucked and I told her two, 5 years ago. She asked me if i'm texting any girls and I told her that i'm only texting her and my mom (as a joke). She also mentioned my low snapscore and lack of instagram account. I did tell her that I do often get approached by women though which is true. All together, is this really enough for her to go 100 to 0 like that or can there be other reasons? I thought she was so into me that I could be honest about myself without her fucking off to other men.
Problematic_Browser 1 2y ago Stickied
The way you manage this is simple: speak with humility, act with boldness. You do this because people are, mostly, fucking gerbils. They listen but don't watch. They will take your words at face value so long as you're saying things that conform with what they want to hear. Speaking with humility while moving with boldness makes your actions seem like you're just that damn good.
Example: I was casually hanging out with the group and the bartender was finding excuses to keep being around me. I told her that I was going to run some errands but she could come along, no big deal (speaking with humility). Oddly enough, we ended up at my place. I told her that it's fine if she wants to drink and smoke on my back porch, no big deal (speaking with humility). When I was in the mood, I just grabbed her by her hair and told her to get on her knees (moving with boldness).
This is a trap. Never give a number. Too few and you seem pathetic. Too many and she will think you're just wanting to fuck, giving her the power. Your words should make things opaque to people. They should only discern your intent though your actions, and only when it is too late to stop you.
Red flag. This metric is a reflection of her, not you. She sees value in subscribers and fans, and that's not a woman you want in your inner circle because attention is her currency and it comes cheap.
Never ever fucking ever let women think they've figured you out. Once that happens, you're now boring and predictable. That is what makes women lose interest.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
Stickied for quality analysis of OPs problem and description of the often-conflicting nuance of female nature
Lionsmane8 2y ago
"Speaking with humility"
Interesting concept.
Recently I stumbled into a power expression, but I am still trying to figure out its potency and how/when to use it when interacting with a female.
"Whatever you want..."
Does this expression (and accompagnying attitude) qualify as speaking with humility?
Problematic_Browser 1 2y ago
It depends.
If you're known for acting when you want something, it will be seen as you offering a choice.
If you're known for being indecisive, it's a turn off as it will be seen as you giving up the decision to her.
The best way to do it is to be clear with what you're gonna do and give her the option of coming (i.e. I'm gonna go get some stuff from the liquor store, my bar is running dry. You can come if you want.) That makes it clear that you have a plan of action that is independent of her decisions but she has the freedom to make a choice about her involvement.
Lionsmane8 2y ago
The former.
Actually i can be rather forceful sometimes.
Problematic_Browser 1 2y ago
Forcefulness and boldness are often conflated because they're often used in conjunction.
Forcefulness is a metric used to determine physical exertion whereas boldness is one that describes conviction of purpose.
Bozza 2y ago
Yeah it is, you made some pretty serious fuck ups.
And if you fucked up some basic 101 shit tests, you probably failed shitloads more you didn't even realize were shit tests.
The big RIP for you is that in college all the girls talk, so news of your betaness will travel around campus.
asadguy 2y ago
I transferred to a different college (not because of her lol). There's no bad blood between us. She even told me she'll try to hook me up with her friend.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Well, you told her lots of times "I am unattractive"..... but also: it just doesn't always work out, simple as that.
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
Unless she was joking, this is trash. Get other girls.
asadguy 2y ago
Is it? I know it sounds shallow, but i'm pretty sure most girls care about that kinda shit.
[deleted] 2y ago
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asadguy 2y ago
well what else am I meant to do? Not interested in becoming a mgtow lol
[deleted] 2y ago
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asadguy 2y ago
I've been on 3 dates since I was 17 (22 now) with 2 girls. I'll take what I can get.
[deleted] 2y ago
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MidgetSpinner 2y ago
This is the way. Girl in OP's post is side chick material, not long term.
Problematic_Browser 1 2y ago
THIS IS THE WAY
AurelianWay 2y ago
This woman has already shown how vapid and shallow she is yet you care that she cut you loose. She did you a favour. Why would you want to be around a slag like that even if it was for casual sex. Who gives a fuck what she or any woman for that matter think of your low snap score.
As others have pointed out you failed some basic shit tests. Maybe it's because of a lack of experience or scarcity but for questions like how many women you banged, you would simply answer: "I lost count". You don't need to tell these bitches your life story to get them in bed. OLD and the digital realm should always be a plan B. IRL activities and hobbies that are co-ed will always be better hunting grounds.
asadguy 2y ago
I don't know. I actually really liked her. She was my exact type. There was something to her and you could talk to her almost like a guy which is rare as most women are very bland.
Like I said I met her at college/ a bar. Now that it's summer I don't have any options of going out and meeting women since most of my friends are away and i'm not going to go bar hopping alone. I'll have to get on OLD soon and rely almost solely on that. I don't have options.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
Women like that make great prostitutes. Almost every prostitute I've ever fucked was my type and there was something about her and you could almost talk to her like a guy... i.e. this chick has a lot of experience with guys.
AurelianWay 2y ago
Your local town/city probably has intra mural co-ed summer sporting activities. Join the local volleyball league and enjoy the favourable female to male ratio that this activity usually has. Sign up for an astronomy class or photography class. Again a fun course that has a healthy female ratio.
As an alternative maybe the summer should be treated as a two month monk mode. Focus on making money. Paying down your debts and tuition. Get the fuck off OLD or use it sparingly. OLD benefits woman and chads only. You are operating in a very feminine frame by relying on it too much and caring about what women think about your lack of instagram or snapchat bullshit. Generally speaking as a man your best results will come from IRL encounters with women. You said in your OP that "you get approached by women" so put yourself in their physical proximity more often.
For the love of god, women are for banging not intellectual pursuits. I agree that women can generally be bland but you can't treat her like one of the guys. You did that with your ex and look how that turned out. You tried to level with her like she was one of your guy friends and it made her pussy dryer then the Sahara desert. Dude, you need to cut out the scarcity mindset and defeatist attitude you have because if you don't you will keep getting the same shitty results with the women you meet.
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
Dude, you clearly are not speaking to enough girls if you think this.
asadguy 2y ago
Think what exactly? And yeah, I don't speak to many.
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
This:
There really are a lot of women who aren't bland too. If you talk to enough of them, you'll find out. I know that's why she feels like a bit of a unicorn to you right now, but there are so many more girls like her out there, and ones who don't place value on what social media you use or how many fucking stupid internet points you have. That's immature shit.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
No, they really are bland. It's all just different flavors of astrology.
Lone_Ranger 2 2y ago
So you made a few mistakes, not a big deal. Dont' dwell on it. The only important thing is to LEARN from it.
When a women asks questions about your body count the only response is to lean in, lower your voice, and say "A true gentleman never tells" then give her a little smile and faint wink. This is the only way. Always remember that women are fundementally dishonest - they say they hate players and don't want to be a slut...but the reverse is true; THEY LOVE PLAYERS AND THEY WANT TO BE A SLUT. They love players so much, and they hate virgins and "incels". We used to saying in college, 'shagging causes shagging'.
I still hear young guys on this platform saying things like "I don't want to get a bad reputation" and "i don't want to shit where I eat, so I can't smash at the work place / in my social group etc". These guys are so wrong its not funny. Remember - a 'bad reputation' is a 'good reputation'. If women realise that you treat women like shit, that you smash and dash, that you dont phone them in the morning, they will be lining up for a bit of that. The only stipulation will be that you can be discreet. They want to feel secure that you don't tell anyone, because sluts hate have the reputation as sluts.
This is why your only reply has to be "a gentleman never tells". It means that its safe for the hoe that you are talking to to let you smash them.
Lone_Ranger 2 2y ago
It sounds like you were projecting - you were describing behaviours of yours, which you wished she had. You told her;
"I'm only texting with you and my mum" ....because that is what you would like in a girl.
You said "I've only had very few relationships, and that was years ago" ....because that is what you would like in a girl.
That is NOT what a girl wants from a man. What a girl wants from a man is that you are Chad in shining armour with a body count of at least 3 figures. She wants to tame a pussy slayer. That is the high status boyfriend for a girl, not an incel with a disgustingly low body count.
Lionsmane8 2y ago
This reads like a shitpost.
asadguy 2y ago
in what way?
whytehorse2021 2y ago
It could be that she was love-bombing you and she's really just a BPD hoe.