I don't want to call her a plate because i was planning to LTR her. We used to see each other 3-4 times a week for close to six months.
For context she's very pretty, as tall if not taller than me, skinny, hyper-feminine and submissive. She's also 19, i'm 32, she's extremely inexperienced, muslim with strict conservative parents.
She gave me little headaches when we used to date, and everytime she stepped out of line, i would punish her by backing away and she would correct rather quickly.
Things were going pretty well between the two of us, steady sex, no drama and was genuinely thinking of making her an official girlfriend (started to introduce her to friends and generally letting people see her with me in places and such).
I got soft and ignored some of the signs of a power struggle until she decided to ration the sex ("you only use me for sex" "i'm not a doll", "bla bla bla").
I calmly told her that sex for me is a red line and i don't negotiate that.
Anyways, if the restaurant is not serving i'll just eat elsewhere.
She thought i was bluffing and i just pulled away and went no contact.
A couple of weeks pass by and she contacts me through text. I make her admit that she's fallen for me. We go back and forth a little. I tell her that my conditions haven't changed. Pull out or get out essentially.
2-3 months went by and she was posting status updates all the time of how sad she is, how much she's been crying, love songs, poems and other desperate shit to get a reaction out of me.
I don't react.
Then we had Ramadan (30 days of fasting, family time, abstention etc.). It ended last week.
On the same day of the celebration of the end of Ramadan she finally breaks the no contact through text.
I tease her by calling her a little slut, that she's been obsessing over me which of course she tries to deny. I take days to respond to her.
I know she's trying to wiggle some control back since she broke the no contact and essentially acquiesced to my frame.
Which won't happen.
I plan to continue torturing her and then have her come to my place. No negotiations.
Essentially, I am thinking of plating her. Although she would have qualified as a girlfriend and it is unlikely she has seen anyone since, i will still treat her as a forever plate. Which I know she won't mind.
Crazy, here I used to think women want relationships in exchange of sex, but once you give them a relationship they stop giving sex.
Furthermore she taught me that what women really want is pain, sex and strong emotions. Masochists all of them. Including a young very inexeprienced muslim girl that has to be home before 8pm.
Comments, advice?
(Before anyone states the obvious, yes I am gaming and seeing other girls).
wswZtyqNGQ 3y ago
The red supergiant [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_supergiant] of pills. No matter how much I try to analyze and process this absurd idea I know that, no matter what happens in this universe, I will never fully understand it.
[deleted] 3y ago
[--removed--]
[deleted] 3y ago
[--removed--]
[deleted] 3y ago
[--removed--]
MentORPHEUS Senior Endorsed 3y ago
I first puzzled over this when hitting the dating market as a confused (and quite unsuccessful at love) young man in the early 80s. After all these years including well over half a decade of TRP internalizing, I abstractly understand the underlying causes much better than ever, but still deeply... IDK feel that it profoundly goes against all rationality.
Also, the older I got, the more consistently I was the party to stop wanting/having sex first.
[deleted] 3y ago
[--removed--]
Bozza 2 3y ago
It's simply a loss of frame and power dynamics.
For women sex is something they enjoy, but its also a tool in their arsenal to secure provisioning.
If a woman believes that you are desired by other women, and that you have sufficient SMV to get other women - then there is a threat to her territory/provisioning. She will work continuously to keep that provisioning by having sex, being feminine and performing acts of love.
Take away any of those dread factors and they will have no reason to keep giving sex.
[deleted] 3y ago
[--removed--]
[deleted] 3y ago
[--removed--]
Bozza 2 3y ago
Human sexual behavior has remained mostly unchanged throughout all of human history. The only thing that has changed are social norms.
The hypergamous nature of females is heavily documented in antiquity through greek and roman literature. In fact, the word hypergamous dates back to ancient greece - "hyper" meaning above and "gamos" meaning marriage.
But that's quite a hard question to answer, because we're not comparing apples to apples. You've got to remember that social norms were very different in the past compared to today - even relatively recently in the 20th century.
There was no birth control, so pre martial sex was extremely frowned upon. Marriage as an institution was a way of keeping society from anarchy. Ensuring paternity (as best they could), ensuring society didn't have to support a bunch of orphaned children and single mothers.
It was also a largely legal affair. Parents would marry their children off for status, money and power. Love had very little to do with it. Sex in a marriage was for legitimate children, and that was about it.
This is why it wasn't uncommon for a married man to have one or more mistresses to take care of his sexual needs. Likewise the wife would have one or two suitors - although she'd need to be a lot more subtle about it.
You've also got to account for the fact that women basically had no rights. A woman might be more willing to have sex with her husband or not cheat on him knowing that'd she be beaten to a bloody mess if she offended her husband. And she would have had zero form of recourse, unlike today.
Even relatively recently - if you speak to some of the older generations, they'll tell you all this shit still went on. Sluts getting knocked up, women cheating on their husbands with the local chad etc.
All of the fluff about 1950s traditional romance. It was all a load of bullshit. The only reason any of that existed was due to social pressure.
All this dating a girl for 6 months or a year with all the romance - the only reason anyone did that is because you couldn't under any circumstances get knocked up. Remember birth control has only really been around since the 60s. If a girl got knocked up outside of wedlock, she'd be socially ostracized. Her families reputation would be brought into disrepute. You as the father would also have your and your families reputation destroyed.
So if you did get a girl knocked up - and god fucking help you if you did - your only option was a shotgun marriage pretty damn quickly.
And once you were married you were stuck. Divorce? Scandalous. Breaking up with your husband/wife was practically unheard of, and you would have been scorned by the whole community if you did.
So yeah despite what popular myth might tell you that people were morally upstanding - everyone was stuck in unhappy dead bedroom marriages and they were fucking the milkman or the local girl at the post office on the side.
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
I'm beginning to think that the effort of this at the start is exactly proportional to how much of a nightmare they'll be later.
"you only want me for sex" is what women say when they have secured power and lost attraction
This is the best you can do now, but the problem was LTRing the wrong girl and then letting the power slide. You should have given earlier warnings that her shit wouldn't slide...... BUT...... see my first comment above.
Absolutely. Commitment kills attraction.
[deleted] 3y ago
[--removed--]
Overkill_Engine Endorsed Contributor 3y ago
For funzies when you don't mind breaking a plate just go nuclear and reply: "Keep it up and I won't even want you for even that".
[deleted] 3y ago
[--removed--]
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
Yep, women ignore your words and treat them as a shit test.
Exactly.
Just like children...... unless there are actual consequences, the words are deemed safe to ignore.
Words are just noise to them.
SSeuSS 3y ago
I'm not Muslim and some things will sound even more abstract that supposed to.
She is affected by: media, social media, peers. There are research results how much all above affect anxiety and depression, it'll affect anything else.
She might stay at home all time and still have shit pumped into her head. We all need someone serving as proper role model otherwise streets will raise us at random. Today's random is rather shit for females.
Given abundance of shit, youngster can find in free time, it's almost impossible war to win.
I would take her if parents would get me dowry, no marriage and agree for return under lifetime warranty. In one move, one can get security and alliance with parents instead of them incentivising divorce.
I think that breaking communication link/stonewalling is bad idea and can't be repaired. As much as possible things should be clarified before 'separation' with open door policy. It might not work but it's a frame training, harder than just nexting.
Training frame once it is spotted as soft and source of problem is harder, as natural reaction is to revert it to overtly strong hard ass ie going cold. Overreaction could mark the end of relationship.
I also wonder how is that possible that she was able to live without her beloved alpha for that long and still playing some silly games later, it doesn't add up [if she really wants back].
seen that with grl that was very inappropriate and wanted me to reach out as she didn't feel good enough for me [or just playing], so wanted me to come on the same level. This would result in her loosing respect because she knew about herself stuff, that I didn't necessarily but I have suspected [Once it will clear 100% I will relay the story].