Been cold approaching at school lately and gathered quite a few numbers. I approach girls and introduce myself and then ask them about themselves and blah blah blah what the fuck ever. Some of these conversations drag on for a few hours sometimes. Problem is, even after I get their number a lot of time they ghost me.
I was also thinking: how the fuck am I supposed to approach a bunch of chicks if I'm having 20+ minute convos with ones I approach each time? I've seen a video by AMS explaining how all I have to do is walk up, introduce myself and then ask her out after I get her name. I'm approaching chicks on campus and in the mall and I believe that the more I talk to them, the more comfortable they will be to go out with me. I also feel like I'll make a better impression rather than being a guy she interacted with for 15 seconds that day which I feel she will forget. Should I be more direct in my approach or should I talk with them a bit?
whytehorse2021 1y ago
240 minutes.
User4566 1y ago
Vine boom
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
I think I might have said this to you over a year ago but phone numbers are worthless.
A woman will give you a phone number to get you out of her face and then block you when it's safe to do so.
Also I've mentioned before that not every girl you approach can date you. Boyfriend, bad life circumstances, guy she's already fucking unofficially, guy she wants to fuck but hasn't yet, not knowing who the fuck you are, being confused she got approached at all, feeling bad about going out with a random, etc
Most successes you get from cold approach will be superficial because they are false victories.
If they are ghosting at such a high rate past what you would expect to be normal, it is likely that they either were in a category of nope that you couldn't overcome short of being a celebrity, weren't actually their type, weren't very clear with your intent or too clear with your intent, or the quality of your approach did not make them want to see you.
Cold approach really is a crapshoot. It opens you up to more women than let's say a bar but it's reduces your overall rate of success compared to other places where people are already there for reasons such as wanting to go home with someone
Obviously if you texted them right away that would look needy but your problem isn't when to text them, it's that they were either solid no's from the outset (normal) or they were open to seeing what happened and just did not feel a vibe enough to bother after.
If she really wants to see you the time (short of immediately texting her) doesn't matter. To reduce any substantial percentage of cold approach lack of success to when to text her is cope. The quality of your approach or vetting process for "yes" girls needs to improve
Side comment, this is such a horrible decision I don't even know how to dissect it. Why would you ever talk to a girl for 3 hours instead of having that same convo on a date?
Women's favorite currency is attention, what are you doing with 3 hours? If she's willing to spend 3 hours with you take her on an insta date
This quoted text alone makes me think you're doing things in the approach that really are not setting a proper premise for them to date you
Get better at filtering for "yes" girls instead of trying to make "maybes" or lukewarms work out. Start identifying the type of reactions that actually lead to dates and of girls aren't giving it within a few minutes maybe just get texting number and let them reach out to you or say a "nice to meet you"
Numbers game does not equal lack of quality game. If she's not doling out enthusiasm why are you doling out time and attention. 20+ minutes could be 3 if you filtered better, thus leaving you open to more receptive women
User4566 1y ago
Thank you. Believe it or not, I have fucked 2 chicks that I talked to for that long in the past few months. Haven't been cold approaching too much until now because the semester is almost over and I'm transfering. The reason I talked to them for that long was because I'm in an environment where there's not alcohol and deafening noise. But I see your point of view, I should be simply talking to women that look enthusiastic to talk to me.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Very nice
The major problem is that you got lucky that they responded well to it but are probably misattributing your success to it. Chances are they still would be e fucked you at half an hour of talking.
You're taking success from one thing and then replicating it elsewhere erroneously when that 1) isn't why you succeeded and 2) even if it was, is an exception not a rule and it is completely inapplicable to other game sets.
Yeah, you're making the mistake of thinking of you just game any woman correctly that she'll fuck you and it's going to lead to a lot of blowouts that have false promise.
Most women are nopes before you've ever laid eyes on them, any effort on them amounts to social practice at best but you won't know that till they ghost.
If they are genuinely enthusiastic the odds they flake are slim. Still gonna happen but they're more solid than lukewarm women
[deleted]
MentORPHEUS Senior Endorsed 1y ago
I clicked on the thread expecting to say as long as you see clear indications of interest but no indications of DISinterest.
But then I got to the part about three hours. Three fucking HOURS?!?
There are women I've been officially dating (and having sex with) that I routinely talk to 10 minutes or less most days of the week, and on actual dates we spend maybe two waking hours together over dinner and everything, then sleep the night and off to work in the morning.
Three. Hours. (low whistle)
On a cold approach, figure 5 to 15 minutes on average, build up some interest but leave a lot more to the imagination and intrigue. Set up a date or at least another convo in the future, then move along! Bet you'll see your conversion rate shoot way up.
Obviously if a particular situation is grooving well, keep that going. Your problem is, you're blowing your mystery and curiosity wad before setting a first date. She has you much of the way figured out after 3 hours, so even if you are dateable and she's available and reasonably interested, you're not giving her much reason to get together again.
User4566 1y ago
Thank you.
hatefatwomen23 1y ago
20 minutes is way too long, that's a lot of time to fuck up or say something stupid. Always say less than necessary. After getting her number, come up with an excuse that you have to go somewhere (makes you seem busy). Then go on with your day and hit her up a few days later.
financehardo420 1y ago
5 min max bro