I'm doing better than ever. I'm lifting 4–5 times a week, eating healthy, reading books, getting good grades, … I'm reaching all of my goals and it feels fucking great. But I can't shake off this feeling of missing out.
It feels like my life is so boring. Most of my friends are fucking boring as well. Sometimes I just want to get shitfaced drunk, head into the city and hit on every girl I see. I want to do stupid stuff, and see where the night brings me. I want to pop a pill of XTC, and just dance all night long. I want to get tickets for a flight to another country, and fuck some foreign chicks while I go on pub crawls.
Obviously these are just some ridiculous examples, but it's how I feel. I'm turning 25, and it feels like I'm missing out on so much. All I do is work, study, workout, .. Nothing else. I work every Saturday and Sunday at a restaurant, so I can never do something fun during the weekends. During the week, I'm busy with work and school.
Like, I can't imagine my life being like this for the rest of my life. I just want to live my life and do stupid things, but I know the path I'm currently on, is the best for me. How do I deal with this feeling of missing out?

TwoInchesOfShaft 2y ago
TRP has a name for only doing the hard work aspect of life, it’s often referred to as monk mode. As you can infer by the descriptor, it’s not meant to be a lifestyle. TRP is not here to only help you get your shit together but to provide you with the tools to find a sense of purpose while simultaneously enjoying your life.
What I’m getting at is it’s a good thing you want to enjoy your life. You are supposed to better your life as fast as possible but never neglect your need for fun and social interaction. It’s not an optional component of a well rounded out life with a positive trajectory.
I’ve been sick for the last two weeks and even though I was very productive, I can’t wait to get back to the gym, to training, to going out with friends and to talk to strangers, especially chicks.
You need to find a balance where you can simultaneously progress the 3-4 most important areas of your life but also give yourself room to enjoy yourself for 1-2 nights a week. It’s difficult to do, it introduces stress because a social life well led will be at odds with your fitness and career goals sometimes, that’s why you got to learn to decide for the right thing at the right time. One night per week at least the decision should be your friends, some fun event or some hitting on girls (you can do this anytime really).
What’s all the progress and TRP good for when you don’t go out and enjoy the fruits of your labor sometimes?
BabyUareSoSexy 2y ago
Hope you get better soon. And yup, I should do that, but honestly I barely have time for it. Even when I go out from time to time, I get this guilty feeling. Like a few weeks ago I was out with one of my friends for his birthday, and we drank so much, partied and got home at 7 am.
Even though, at the time, it was fun, the next day I felt so guilty and honestly like shit, because of all the alcohol. It felt like I took 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. The same goes for hitting on girls. It's always fun at the beginning, the chase is fun, but once you get that nut off, it feels like you've wasted so much time. I don't know why, but whenever I stray away from my goals, it feels like I'm wasting my time, and I hate this feeling.
Might need to quit my job at the restaurant so I can relax a little. I was never like this before. I used to party every weekend before COVID hit. It's like my life did an 180.
ncstaterepted 2y ago
I graduated college and moved to the city. I was wild in college though had not hit many bucket list items. Once I moved to the city I was in restaurants, training martial arts, really into meditation and buddhism. I quit drinking and smoking, became vegetarian, began leaving my body, and I was just going on this crazy journey. I remember many nights way up above the city hearing all of the college kids close to my age whoop, cheer, and have the best time. I longed to be out there with them, to be the guy the girls were laughing at so loudly I could hear them on FL 13. I would tell myself that one day I will be that guy, and this is why I am working so hard.
I would wake up at 6am, work out for about an hour, hit an 8 hour shift in a restaurant, walk a mile downtown to class, teach and/or work out for 2 hours, assume another hour of volunteer responsibility after class, and then walk home a mile at night to go to bed and do it again the next day (40+hr/wk). I took a lot out of my walks home at night through the downtown on Thu/Fri nights. I would feel as though I was part of the night crowd even though I wasn't. Sometimes I'd go downtown and pretend to be homeless, sitting there meditating. It was interesting to see how people went out of their way to avoid you thinking you were homeless. Sometimes I'd go meditate secretly in some urban areas where people were close but couldn't find me. This might be late at night. Sometimes I'd go work out in a park late at night. Probably wasn't smart back then and still isn't now.
As life went on, I got married to my ex, took on more responsibilities, increased my career, bought assets which I still have, etc. Did not want this but when you are married you begin making the best decisions instead of your happiest decisions. I kept it kid free although I dream of kids one day. Anyway, as life went on, eventually I would melt away disciplines which were too strict, socially limiting, or I now had under control. For instance, I drink now. This started when work was forcing me to travel and I was attending a lot of drinking events and gatherings. It was bad business to be not drinking, and I had not drank for so long, and changed my lifestyle around so much, that now to introduce a drink was easy. I have not been drunk since college and my friends drink more of the alcohol in my house than I do. I don't like it, never did. Another example is that I now will orgasm with a woman. I used to always retain my semen because I used to have problems of spilling it too much. My ex wife often wanted me to just simply enjoy. Yes, I have learned to enjoy this again. Another example, I was a hardcore vegetarian. I went vegan for a few fight camps. I was vegetarian for many years but now I will eat sardines in water, cod liver, and oysters in water. Well, my meat diet used to be shit and I hated anything from the sea. After some vegetarian lifestyle, now I approach meat and eating animal with a whole different outlook.
If you ever knew a star athlete who could get laid with no problem any night, but did not because of their athletics, you might understand what you are doing for yourself. Treating yourself like a star athlete and your mind is the coach. Coaches let their athletes wild once in a while. My boys lived every day with perfection, including their imperfect days. What I mean is, their drive and discipline was blinding and impressive. Yet when they had the occasional wild day, their commitment to being wild and undisciplined was blinding and impressive.
nicknack 2y ago
Some of the best memories of my life are chilling on a beach somewhere on the Mediterranean with my brother catching the sun with countless hot European girls who are desperate for a summer fling. I wouldn’t trade these memories for any monk mode. Matter of fact, I think that was real self improvement. Once you’ve seen the world and smashed hot foreign 19 year olds left and right, being back in the states talking to some local 26 y.o. bitch with a soft stomach who doesn’t know anything makes her feel like nothing to you.
[deleted] 2y ago
[--removed--]
nicknack 2y ago
I just smashed a 19 year old blonde half German half Greek girl last summer in santorini and I was 29. Your age doesn’t matter if you look good and are fun. They just want to have fun and let loose, have a summer romance with a hot guy while they’re in vacation. Traveling is not expensive at all all, southern Europe is way cheaper than America it’s just the plane ticket. The real cost is just how much money you’re not making during the time you’re away. If you can find a way to be productive in something during that time, get the fuck out there.
[deleted] 2y ago
[--removed--]
Intrepid_Place53900 1 2y ago
Your read sounds like mine when I was in engineering school.
Join the club man. It sucks sometimes, Yup, I'd study 6 nights a week in school, many kids in lame studies would be going out 3-4 nights a week and partying during the day also. I'd go to school, lift, go study, repeat.
but, that was my goal. to get an engineering degree and make a career and earn good cash.
sacrifices.
that weekend job though at restaurant. a killer, you probably make good cash, do you really need it? cut back on it?
how many years remain on the school?
BabyUareSoSexy 2y ago
I'm about to graduate in 2 months, and have a few job offers lined up. And the weekend job at the restaurant... Yes I need the money. Lost a lot of money in Crypto the past 3 years, so I'm doing this to make some money.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 2y ago
2 months to go, you are almost at the end man. Hang in there.
when you get the job, go have some fun. So, what does fun look like to you?
Just go out and get some plates and have fun?
BabyUareSoSexy 2y ago
Good question, what does fun look like to me?
I like to make weekend trips to other countries/cities. I like to check out new bars with friends or hot women. Likewise, I love meeting new people, hitting my goals in the gym, driving around on my bicycle during the summer, and going out solo. I like to do my own thing from time to time. I like to fuck hot girls, and as many as possible. During the summer I love getting tickets for good festivals with my friends, dance, and meet other people.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 2y ago
Sounds like in 2 months, there would be nothing holding you back from that. So, make plans for that and do it.
Now, I hope you have some goals for yourself, near/long terms. What's your goal for 5 years from now for example.
Have fun, but plan also. Hope for the best, plan for the worst.