Welcome to the Red Pill, young brother. The journey into your new life has just begun. Buckle up. It's going to be a FUN ride!

To get over your ex you need to get her out of the head - you're addicted to neurochemicals she was giving you. This is normal for men this is why the best strategy developen by normal men is fucking more women not only to always have options but also not to get addicted to one woman - this is real.

Meditation /fucking other girls.

If you want to fuck other girls absolutely first thing you need to read is

https://pdfslide.net/documents/the-forbidden-truth-part-2-the-forbidden-truth-part-2-when-the-forbidden.html

Brad P. The. Forbidden Truth. Part 2

it's v short and puts the frame on what to do next to save time.

You can also read that for more on top of other stuff proposed

https://theredquest.wordpress.com/2022/05/15/brad-ps-dating-education-memoir-diary-of-a-pickup-artist-pua/

STart now you will need at least a year to cover bases.

You are not alone brother.

I went through the same about 3 years ago. It was awful. I felt worthless. Luckily i had a great support system of friends and family to get me though. Ive posted about it before on this forum, feel free to search.

Your priority now is your child. Settle for nothing less than 50% custody. Depending on what state you are in and how much the two of you make, you can fight back against any alimony or child support claims. Let all communication aside from simple messages about logistics of the child come through the attorneys.

Consider mediation. It may save you a lot of money and time and stress.

Seek therapy.

Avoid alcohol and other substances.

I second the advice to not get entangled with any other women for a few months. I made this mistake and it almost cost me another marriage and inevitable divorce.

Hit the gym. Ive been doing so religiously for 2 years and the results are great already.

Save save save. Get your money up. Money + looks + status = the hoes will come. Once the dust settles, the hoes will come. Once you start dating again, use a condom every single time.

Interestingly enough , this wasn't even the experience that red pilled me. It wasnt till I met a damaged thot who i thought was a sweet girl, that I had my awakening so to speak. After that, I finally learned to really pull back, stop being so "nice", and focus on myself. It has resulted in a long term relationship with a girl who I think is great, but if things changed, I wouldn't hesitate to show her the door, since my frame of reference is refocused on me.

Well you said it yourself: you got oneitis and her frame took over. So it wasn't really out of nowhere. I'd suggest you first read The Manipulated Male by Esther Vilar. You can find it free online and it's really more like a pamphlet than a book. When you finish that, repeat after me: I hope she(ex-wife) gets in a car crash and dies choking on her own blood. Then go through the rational male series of books. The good news is you're about to reach your peak SMV and having a kid shows preselection.

Ok, I'll try.

I'm just really distraught and am looking for advice on how to proceed forward with my life. I was very in love with her and suffered from oneitis, as I did everything for her and developed an entire identity around being a husband and a dad.

I hope you realise that this is no way for a man to live his life. Your identity being locked up in someone else is a death sentence for your happiness and mental wellbeing.

It also doesn't help that I am isolated in this city with no friends/family.

Will come back to this.

She cheated on me out of nowhere and I saw no warning signs.

Distressingly this is 100% normal. "I never saw it coming" is what men say.... women plan it like this very, very carefully.

We are both 31, if it matters. She showed no remorse nor has she admitted anything. She now lives with her mother and just meets up with people. I don't understand what the point of destroying our family was but it's whatever at this point.

She's female. She prioritises her hormones over being with you. You are safe and comfortable, and this is BORING to her little lizard brain. I know that royally fucking sucks to hear, but it's sadly true.

I am heading to the gym soon and am trying to read books on the red pill and this topic.

Good

just want to be a good dad to my son

Great, you should be.

and never allow this type of turmoil to happen again in my life. Any advice on how to move forward would be great. I hate that I still miss her and secretly want a person who caused me so much harm and left me at the lowest point of my life back (after my dad passed). Thanks.

You want her back for only one reason: you don't have anyone else great in your life.

Give up on any sort of relationship with her: she's toxic and deranged and that will NEVER CHANGE. Keep on good terms, keep being a great father to your son, but otherwise cut her out of your life (as you have done).

You need a few things going forwards:

FRIENDS

Go out and meet people. You made the mistake of putting all your eggs in one (awful) basket. Don't do that again. Do things you enjoy, meet people as you do it. It takes time but it works. You'll have to do most of the work with most of the people you meet because you are the one with few friends right now. That will change later if you're a great guy who has a mission and a purpose. if you don't have those things, fix that shit immediately.

LOOKS

Maximise the fuck out of your looks. From now on you are going to have relationships based on looks, passion, intrigue, mystery and being fun. None of that beta shit.... loyalty, being nice, hoping she's nice, promising commitment. You tried that, and it got you here. Hit the gym, lose the bodyfat, get a sharp haircut, wear awesome clothes, look fucking amazing and act like you own the world.

WOMEN

Primarily you want women for sex and good times. Commitment has fucked you over, so don't do that again. Have affairs, have hot sex, see 5 fuckbuddies at a time. Live it up, have fun, and don't commit to exclusivity with any woman ever again. They don't respect it and they fuck you over eventually, so don't give them chance to. Women who want to fuck you won't need a relationship, and women who need a relationship eventually will stop fucking you.

Hey brother. Sorry to hear about your struggles. I am a single father around your age with shared custody of a boy so i hear you. But you're gonna come out of this a better man.

Resources:

• No More Mr. Nice Guy. Great book to begin with
• The Book of Pook. It's a collection of posts on the old forum SoSuave. I liked this audio book version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UP4Cv7UQSo&list=PLPwkFl_WzinWymq5HSNEfuwfv30QEhWgR
• "The Sidebar" of TRP. A selected collection of posts you can download here: https://theredarchive.com/books
• Top 1000 posts on TRP, can also be downloaded at the last link. Pick and choose what feels relevant.
• The Rational Male books. Book one is essential, and book three also covers a bit on parenting, though i havent gotten that far.
• The Sex God Method. A book on sex, highly recommended. You can find it for free online

Feel free to DM.

on a quest to do better in my life and never look back

Good. Just make sure you actually do it, and not just say it.

I am trying to take as much responsibility as I can for the things that are actually in my control from this day forward

Good, but erase the "trying" from your mind. That's just you already preparing excuses. There's only "doing" or "not doing". When people say "I'm trying to do X", they usually mean "I'm not doing X", whilst simultaneously trying to feel good about it since they're "trying". "Trying" is hamster-speak. Read up on "the rationalisation hamster", and keep that motherfucker on a tight leash.

she is like this, she is like that, she did this, she did that, I think she has this, I think she has that

All irrelevant now.

Be civil and maintain a "professional" relationship to her as a co-parent, but beyond what directly affects the child, her problems, issues or whatever are no longer of your concern. Your focus is better spent on yourself, and on new prospective women for a rotation. Don't try to be "seen" by her, it's not going to happen, and that's normal. You have friends for that, male friends.

I eventually sent her a text saying she's a vile human being

Yeah, don't do that. No point. It's not like you're going to explain shit to her, or throw around accusations, and then she's suddenly going be like: "Ah, NOW I get it!". All you achieve is to make the situation less manageable for you.

and to stop reaching out to me unless it's about our son

That's fine. Boundaries are important. But enforce them without the emotional outbursts and blame game. Yeah, things suck, you want her to know things suck, you want her to see her part in it. But guess what, she couldn't give less of a fuck. It's not her fault, she's literally incapable of it. That's just the way it is, learn to live with it, and let it go.

Read up on: "The Light Switch Effect". Basically, once a woman is out, she's out. They don't give a fuck at that point. And she checked out a long time ago, before you split, before she even cheated on you.

Don't engage in anything that doesn't have to do with your child. She wants to rewrite the relationship? Fine, let her. She wants to call you a narcissist? Fine, let her. It is of no consequence to you unless you take the bait and engage.

I just want to be a good dad to my son

Great. That's a fantastic goal to have. So do everything in your power to maximize the time you'll have with your child. Father is the most important caregiver once the kid is off the boob, so yeah, prioritize that.

Listen, I know it's easy to sit here and type this out as if it's all so simple. It's not, I know, we all know. When everything's fucked, that's when it's hard to do the things that are good for you, and get you out of the rut. Just know you'll feel noticeably better in just a matter of weeks if you spend that time lifting (self-improvement), forwarding your projects in life (meaning, self-improvement), spending time with your kid (meaning), maintaining a social circle (mental health, social proof), and gaming new prospective women (building abundance, anti-oneitis).

As for reading material, I suggest starting with "No More Mr Nice Guy" and "When I say no I feel guilty". Also, read up on game (i.e. "London Day Game") so you can start getting back up on the horse, trying some stuff out. Keep it casual, and don't go all in for the first one to suck your dick, and you'll be fine. Nothing gets you over a girl quicker than a couple of new ones.

Also, leave the meta-stuff on men and women for now (i.e. "The Rational Male" or "The Manipulated Man"). It's rage inducing stuff, and right now you have enough reasons to be angry. Leave the meta stuff for later, and focus on simple, actionable material. Same with this space, limit your time here. Good luck. It's a rough ride right now, but it'll pass. Probably quicker than you think, at least if you play your cards right.

For YouTube content, I suggest Rian Stone and his "sidebar series". It's easily digestible, non-toxic, touch grass sort of actionable stuff (as opposed to a lot of the utter shite that's out there in the sphere).

Sorry for hearing that, to be honest i can't tell you what to do other than keeping track and tickets of everything you buy for your kid. That way she won't be able to argue that you're an irresponsible father. You'll have to be very careful with those legal things as these kind of bitches always want to sue you, especially if you get a better job or something. If you get new friends don't really talk about this or about her. Just keep it casual, especially when you talk to other woman you're interested. I don't have more data to give advice like if you bought a house or a car. I'm not American, but get a good lawyer.

I can tell you to check out some of Chateau Heartiste (Roissy) to help out with your inner game and understanding the red pill. Also read "No more Mr nice guy", and get yourself to the gym and clean up your diet,focus on yourself and realize you're still young and there'll be plenty of pussy up the road. Get used to being alone,being single and having yourself and your son as your mental point of origin. have a good one mate

You've received a lot of great replies already.

I strongly second all the recommendations to read the following: No More Mr. NiceGuy, When I Say No I Feel Guilty, and The Rational Male for books.

I also strongly second reading anything from Roissy/Heartiste that you can find. He was my biggest Red Pill influence. Dalrock is a close second, but he's more big-picture stuff.

As far as some reading material to help you get past any one-itis you might still have:

There is no One by Rollo Tomassi, and

Rooting through garbage also by Rollo Tomassi.

Most of all, I strongly recommend that you head to the Married Red Pill subreddit and read their guide on divorce. You need to be ready.

Best of luck, and welcome.