Feeling ready to start cold approaching again, as I've read up on london day game and am ready to implement in the field. The approach anxiety has crept back into my life though. I was never over it, but I've lost some progress in the desensitization of it.
I didn't want to make this post. I wanting to do my cold approaching for the past couple days and have a good field report for you guys. Last week this HB7 was looking at me and we smiled as I entered the campus library. I caught her looking over at my table a couple of times, and she was with a guy. Looks like he's just a study buddy.
My friend (shorter and more buff) told me she actually flagged the guy down (she probably knew him) and invited him to sit with her. She was also ogling my friend as he left the library that day. Saw her the next day, and she coincidentally has class right next to mine, but at different times. Every time I walked by her classroom that day on break or to print papers she'd look up and smile like she heard me coming (I was talking with some guys). I even asked her and the little group what class they were in, so very small verbal exchange.
I know I'm making excuses for myself, or maybe not but I was going to approach today. I was extremely tired, and with a group dynamic it would've been a bad, maybe awful approach. I saw her in the library again sitting with that same study buddy. As I was about to leave she got up and walked towards a different guy at a computer and sat down and started talking with him. Is she looking for some muscles to grip onto while she's getting dicked? What are your reads on this chick, any flags?
Next Tuesday is my last class of the semester, so I gotta start approaching.
So yeah, thoughts on overcoming approach anxiety and approaching in a group dynamic when they're seated?
whytehorse2021 1y ago
I wish Tom Torero's videos were still up. He would train guys by having them just go up to a woman and compliment her, make her day. Do that several times until they lose their approach anxiety. Then the next step is to start a convo. So you go step by step and when you get comfortable, advance.
With groups, and I spell this out in my book, you have to use your eyes. From my book:
3.3 Shared World Knowledge
When in a group of more than two, you give cues about what role you think each person in the group plays by how you divide your gaze up. If you gaze exclusively at one person being addressed by another, you will make the others feel like you are an over-hearer. If you gaze equally at all participants, they feel like addressees. If you look mostly at the addressee and a little bit at other participants, you put yourself into the role of bystander.
This is useful to know, particularly when you'd like to join a group. By looking equally at all participants you are signaling that you'd like to address them. It's just a matter of time before they pick up on you gazing at them. Or if you'd like to join in being addressed you would gaze at the person addressing everyone else and it's just a matter of time before they acknowledge your gaze and begin addressing you as well.
User4566 1y ago
Check your messages in here, we talked about this.
I recommend not approaching women in a working environment. You might also bother other people by talking in the library.
Anxiety over approaching women is normal as it gets. You're anxious because you haven't done it / haven't done it in a while.
The best way to rid yourself of this is to face it. Now, if you have really bad anxiety with approaching women to the point where you're heart starts racing and you're breathing heavy and your stomach is in knots, then simply go up to girls and ask them if they know where room '123' is (obviously make it sound like a real classroom). You can also say your phone is dead, and ask them for the time.
That's it. Do that a bit and then go up and approach women and go with the intention of having a conversation with them. Don't count the rejections or number closes, count the amount of times you managed to face fear and build that mental muscle. It will help you feel much more confident in your ability to approach more women.