Oh and make sure he hears you railing her while he's staying there ;).

Dude don't be a cuck. Tell her that you will break up with her if that motherfucker puts one foot into her house.

Women that respect men and look up to them would not even consider this idea or at the worst would ask for your approval before making a decision. Long term friend is code for FWB/Occasional dick.

All women that respect a man, SPECIALLY when in a commitment with him, block/unfollow/cut ties with all the exes/fwbs before him.

This is really so obvious man, you know what to do. Never allow your sexual needs to be dependent on one woman, even in a 40yr LTR. Always have backup(s). Read the God damn sidebar, what the actual fuck.

Deplorable how you westerners have fallen to this bullshit conditioning.

EDIT: This is incredible man. Reading through 70% of these comments and I cannot fucking believe this shit. How can you advise with "let him come if this was set up before the relationship? By this logic, he should let all the exes gangbang her because they fucked her before he fucked her.

Very few ppl here bother to read Rollo, Rian or Rich, let alone the sidebar. You guys are a lost cause

You should call her out on her bullshit.

I used to have sex with a girl like that and I've never considered her my friend tho.

"I understand that these plans were already set in motion but we've since gotten more serious and I am not comfortable with the optics of a one-one-one overnight with a male friend even with context"

If she gets upset, say "it's really not something I'm comfortable with, I'm letting you know my boundaries, I would not let a female friend stay with me in a relationship either "

If she can't be reasoned with this is probably going to be a pattern to come. You can either suggest a workaround like you also staying with her at night or he can get an air bnb or hotel or something

I don't believe in going nuclear in relationship scenarios but at the same time I don't believe in letting shit like this slide either

This dude could literally dry up her pussy like the Sahara desert and be in a permanent friend zone to her. This guy could be the antithesis of sexual appeal, but I think the optics would bother you if you keep seeing her. You'll wonder what happened.

Any time you have a fight or she mentions something stupid about him or some guy it'll cross your mind down the road what happened that weekend. You'll start connecting dots that were never there. It'll be a mind fuck you'll always wonder about

Meet him and be cordial about it so you can vibe check him, but I don't think being an alpha Chad supreme and trying to control her friend life will help you either. A lot of guys seem to think decimating her friend circle is alpha but you need to do this in a socially intelligent manner and come across as fair but having reasonable boundaries

If she can't respect it in the end, it's a poor vet and you have my condolences for being with a woman that can't do basic courtesy in a relationship context

First you say you’re on the verge of a relationship, two paragraphs later you say you’re in a relationship. You need to make up your mind.

Been seeing this girl for 4 months, on the verge of a relationship.

She doesn't see you as a relationship, otherwise she would have made it official months ago.

she is now very excited that I'm meeting her "long term friend"

You mean her boyfriend backup, if you bail or she decides to branch.

But the core problem is something else: You don't have girl abundance, but she has men abundance and uses it to her full advantage.

Her SMV is high and your SMV is low. It looks completely different if you were on par. For example if a girl I "see" sees another guy, she's gone (soft next). I'm not involved in such a play at all. But I'm not in a "relationship" or "maybe-relationship" and I don't care for being in one.

I'm not quite sure what to make of this, on one hand he seems like a beta orbiter and that I shouldn't worry. On the other I really don't like random dudes spending the weekend at her place.

It's probably fine.

Well the issue seems to be you haven't vetted this girl enough and made your boundaries clear before LTR'ing.

A simple "My girl does not have male friends" is enough. If she crosses that line after you've said so, you simply bounce and start fucking other girls.

Make sure to punish-fuck your girl so her "friend" hears it when he's on the sofa. Just pound the shit out of her. All weekend. Let's see how much of a friend he really is.