LTR ended by her over a year ago. I tried to fix it but she refused for months. I stopped taking her calls since April and cut her off completely. She's been since calling me a few times every month and texting me songs or asking me to call her. Since then she has probably called me at least 20 times. Got her friend to get me to talk to her. I refused all contact.
Yesterday i was driving and my bluetooth accidently picked up her call as caller id was disabled. I told her id call her back. I didnt so she kept calling me again and again so i again answered. Now this is what she said " I thought you wont answer ever. Are you seeing anyone? I have been trying to reach you for months. During our breakup and since the time i last saw you i was going through a lot of personal stuff (depression, career setbacks etc.) But since you went completely away not a day goes by that i don't think about you. I thought it would be easier to live without you but i just can't stop thinking about you. When all boundaries of me missing you were crossed i tried contacting you but you didn't reply. Things really got out of hand during my birthday and i went insane with my desire to speak to you but you didn't reply. Maybe i'll forever live like this alone. Whenever i listen to a song or watch a movie, i imagine US. I know its all ruined now but i cannot control my self.All i ever do now is distract myself and take meds and go to sleep. What we had cannot be replicated and i can't have it with anyone else no matter how much i try. Even though i try to move on and be with other people it just stays at the liking phase and never moves to the loving phase. I never thought i could feel so strong about someone even though i made the decision to end things. My depression wasn't because of you and i just needed to gain my confidence alone. I am growing personally and only i can make myself better. When i sleep alone in the night i am happy but something is missing and that is you. I know we can't go back to the good times since a lot has happened since then. I just needed to talk to you about this even at the cost of you thinking that i am selfish. I tried leaving you alone but i can't help myself when i can't control my desire. I thought we'll never talk for the rest of our lives"
She kept asking if i thought about her, i just told her i have heard her say different things before. She said she needed 1 yr to gather herself and she made her decision during her phase when she wanted to stay alone forever. She then said that she was angry at me for some reasons but doesn't know why she couldn't forget me. So many months have passed but everything reminds her of me. She even adopted a cat Timmy to help her get through.
She has asked me to let her know if i wanted to try again since she is going mad thinking about everything. Since yesterday she has called me 4 more times today at 2 am to know my answer. I didn't respond.
What do you guys think? Looks like a failed monkey branch. (Just fyi i have seen her on dating apps during the month of july when i was scrolling and a friend told me she got a few matches too. But i don't know if she went on any dates)
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Lionsmane8 1y ago
many options here:
1 year is too much to come back, i sis it once with a chick, decided to give her a second chance after seeing how relentless she was. I thought she'd try harder, she tried but still ended up failing miserably and blocked her relentless ass on the apps. new pussy is better than old pussy.
Positive-Lifeguard80 1y ago
I have a broken plate from five years ago reaching out every few months since then. Every time I break a way of contact, she finds a new one to reach me. When I killed the Meta-verse including WhatsApp (where I just left her on read), she started writing to my business email. Recently she found out that I'm on Signal (only used for business as well), so she just wrote "Hello Positive, T. here :D". I left her on read as well.
Women just need that precious attention and validation and desperately want orbiters. I occasionally meet her on concerts (where I usually work), and I just approach other women in front of her, or simply bring a date with me, when I'm not at work. She got nexted when she entered a LTR with someone else years ago, but every girl needs a bunch of backup branching options and regularly reassure herself that these are still around.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
She expected you to wait for her for a whole ass year? I'd be insanely offended if a LTR ended and she said that to me.
Bro, you have gotten I don't know how much advice out of us from here on her. Probably more advice than anyone else has ever gotten posting here.
Our answer will not change. Cut her off. Block her already she's batshit crazy. She shouldn't have pissed away her LTR. she's hitting the wall now and could have at least cultivated new relationships since you and hasn't.
Just block her man. Why do you care about her at all still after all our advice on here over 12 or more months?
Axlerod9999 1y ago
Should I try to fuck her. Or do you think it's something else she's after. Can I plate her ?
MidgetSpinner 1y ago
No, do not put your dick back in her. Find someone better.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
I wouldn't plate her only because she crazy and you'll get roped back into having feels/obligations
You're a free man. She's gonna ruin all of that.
My advice is unchanged, leave her in the past
Axlerod9999 1y ago
She has invited herself over to my city 270 miles away. She's visiting me on monday to have a face to face conversation so that when she grows old she has no regrets that she didnt tell me about her feelings. LOL i guess
Durek_The_Bald 1y ago
In short, she's saying she dumped you because she felt she needed to play the field for a while. So she did that for a year, and now she's realising she may have overestimated her SMV/RMV a little bit, and the fear is creeping in that you just might have been her best hypergamous option. Fuuuuuuuk...
That's the gist of it. The rest is fluff.
If you want to take that as a win, then take it as a win. For all I know, that may be the best you could ever do. My advice to you though, is to improve (game, looks, status) so that she isn't going to be the best you could do.
Also, sidebar.
Axlerod9999 1y ago
Shes flying 270 miles to an entirely different state to see me on monday.Talk about turning tables lol
MidgetSpinner 1y ago
"but i can't help myself when i can't control my desire."
That line there says it all. She wants control. Avoid this bitch some more.
whytehorse2021 1y ago
I don't remember the back story but she alpha widowed herself. It's the female version of ONEITIS. I suppose it's up to you if you want her back or not. Now that she knows you can and will walk away forever you're in a position to set boundaries and maybe turn her into a ride-or-die chick. Basically a ride-or-die chick identifies you as her best hypergamous option. My wife is ride-or-die. She won't do anything to fuck up what she has with me. No shit tests, no cheating, no getting fat, etc.
Axlerod9999 1y ago
So i need some advice. She again called me 3 times tonight. When i answered she wanted to know if i ever think about her. She wanted to meet but i told her i was 270 miles away on work for a week. She insisted that she woudnt bother me ever if i say no but she wanted to visit me on monday and talk to me face to face. So she kind of invited herself over in 2 days. Shes taking a leave of absence from work and flying to see me. What are my options bro?
whytehorse2021 1y ago
Yeah I don't remember why you got rid of her or what happened. Just make a decision: yes or no. If you say yes, set boundaries to prevent this from happening again.
Pfizer 1y ago
You will get attached if you go back. If you.still consider her its beca7se you have feelings or low on options both bad for you for keeping frame. She might hang onto you not only because youre the best option, but she knows you have this soft spot for her and maybe she is AFter something else.
So yeah she is offending you.
You should no go back.because above.
If you will however, you should demand huge sacrifice. I mean ridiculously huge.
You will know are u really top for her.
I had this CH8ck, she messed up but was claiming love and devotion. Because of what it was I demanded to fuck all her friends (except maybe this really close), and her working for me on that. There was more demands.
Whether I d do it or not I was interested what will she do.
Yep she ended with promises/talk8ng.
What this kind if demand will give you, is reality check. Hers and yours. Wil she start working on it and show results, will you compromise like a beta. You will have metrics.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
OP, I also suspect she was your maximum RMV woman despite your reasons for not continuing with her.
I doubt she was your best SMV option but it sounds like in a year you haven't found a RMV upgrade yet. This woman's existence and persistence is tempting you back into her arms because you can't replace the relationship despite fucking other women
@Axlerod9999
Axlerod9999 1y ago
You are absolutely right. I am unable to build something meaningful with other girls due to various reasons and with her it's a pre-made relationship being served on a platter. Although i have a way higher SMV, currently she was the best i could do in terms of LTR.
But i understand there's too much baggage and she probably was monkey branching which fell through.
Peter_Henderson 1y ago
If you care about her and don't want a relationship with her -- please convince her to enroll in some therapy.