I was in a 1 year relationship with my (ex) a few months earlier. Everything was going great. No shit tests, no problems, best sex of my life, I have a fairly high n-count of 70-ish, so I have the experience to compare with.
Im 25, shes 22 and she had her own little apartment. I used to go there all the time, where she would cook me food and take care of her cat, and I would fuck the shit out of her. It really felt like I was in the house of my future wife. Her demeanor totally changes when we are in the house together like a housewife. I had the right woman before my eyes, ready for the taking. She was ready to be molded. Open to having kids. Good cook. Tremendous ass that even Instagram whores dont have (She was a Latina volleyball player in college). I was a God to her, I could do no wrong.
Anyways, we got in a fight and I kicked her out of my place one night at 1am during netflix. She has been irritating me with some slight jealousy games, but this was the worst of it, which is pretty minor in comparison to other crazy girls. I took some advice from TRP and waited for a moment to break up for the first time. It was boiling in my head for a few weeks, why would she do this, TRP convinced me of the absolute worst scenarios (most likely trolls or incels with no experience). So I kicked her out, told her I dont like where this is going, gave no explanation. I couldnt sleep that night, knowing I went nuclear over something minor. I messaged her the next day and we got back together to talk the next day. I admitted I made a mistake. We got back together again but the shit tests started, in the form of comfort tests the following weeks, but they were warranted. I broke up with her out the blue, when I was truly happy with her, it was a small fight, but I had to comfort her that I really wanted her.
The thing is, she slowly started to display signs of concerns: "I want to be with someone who wants to be with me" "Do you still love me?" ... but the spark was still there. She never gave me attitude in person. She never withdrew sex even after this. She never spoke to me in a bitchy tone once. Her eyes still looked at me like the sun.
In hindsight this should have been a classic "down" in the "up and downs" we have in any healthy relationship. There was no disrespect. But I asked TRP for advice and the advice was to break up.
So I did again (a second time) 6 weeks after the first 'faux' break up.
Now I realized I had let a good girl go. Over one trivial "Down" in the relationship. Although she hasnt expressed this to me, I know she has the impression that Im not capable of a relationship. Guys dont just dump a girl at the first minor infraction. I learned this lesson.
But she wont get back with me again. I tried once more. Its my last try. I just wanted to let TRP know, to not take it so literally. Just one or two shit tests is fine. One or two nags is fine. Months and months of it is not. I took the TRP Hardass approach and its not built for LTR game. Its built for plates you dont like. A lot of guys here also have little to no relationship experience and reiterate sidebar material. TRP Advice can be 99% of the time she is on good behavior, she does X which is a "red flag" and she needs to be demoted immediately or replaced. Its just not practical in a real relationship, its just supposed to be general concepts.
I get some amazing advice here, but Ive learned to be cautious about accepting LTR advice from posters here. Guys who are still worrying about how to kiss a woman or escalate or Kino, guys who dont even know how to build a roster, are trying to give advice on how to run a real relationship. Just my two cents, I hope no one is offended, maybe this can save someone else's relationship.
TLDR; Had a healthy relationship with a potential future wife LTR. I made a nuclear mistake taking TRP's black and white advice. Every girl comes with pro's and con's. So do you. You have to choose the LTR whose con's are worth tolerating because her pro's outweigh them. No such thing as a girl with no con's, that would be a "Unicorn". Thats all.
whytehorse2021 1y ago
I've been in an LTR for 17 years. In the beginning, my wife and I communicated that we both don't like to argue. It's just a part of being mature adults living together. Sorry if you got bad advice. I regularly check these forums and sometimes my advice goes against the others because I know red pill within the context of LTRs and they don't. So if you get 5 replies saying to break up and one that says different, you have to really carefully consider the source and what's appropriate for you.
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Peter_Henderson 1y ago
https://www.forums.red/i/asktrp/?showall=1&search=bymxco
I did what you said. I searched "bymxco" in the search box.
Which of his 13 posts indicates that he is a troll?
Or did you just want someone like me to do the "heavy lifting" and analyze all 13 of his posts?
Hell no -- I'm just as lazy as you are, lmfao...
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Peter_Henderson 1y ago
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metandienone
To be fair, I'm a former drug dealer (by accident).
I stupidly bought a bunch of steroids when I was 21 and chickened out of taking them (Dianabol) so I put up fake ads on eBay for "andro" and then would upsell the customers to real steroids. It was about the stupidest thing I could have done (thankfully I didn't get caught).
The OP might be a troll but my gut instinct is that his post today is sincere. The wikipedia article on trolling is very all-encompassing. I might be stupid but my vote is that OP was truthful/honest in his post 18 hours ago.
Durek_The_Bald 1y ago
"I did so and so because the internet told me to"
Solid frame there, buddy boy.
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Peter_Henderson 1y ago
https://imgur.com/pLY2BOB
Peter_Henderson 1y ago
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Critical_thinking
I hope you realize there is nothing stopping incels or feminists or transgenderists from registering an account on this platform and writing anything they want, correct?
What constitutes "TRP advice" as you've characterized it in the title?
Are you saying that you were misled that the mods of TRP thoroughly vet everyone on this platform who answers questions to "verify" that they are legit alphas who have slept with 30+ women who were HB7 or higher?
https://imgur.com/pLY2BOB
You made the same mistake as the woman from the imgur screenshot. You relied on garbage advice and you're desperate to attribute the advice to the content of the TRP sidebar.
https://www.redpillhandbook.com/
Just because you received advice from a TRP-friendly platform, doesn't mean you received TRP advice.
You received garbage advice and stupidly trusted people due to your failure to engage in critical thinking.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Critical_thinking
None of the men who answer questions on this platform know what they're talking about. None of them!
OPPTRP 1y ago
Go on red pill marriage
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
If I recall, I told you to wait it out across 3 different posts. In one post my advice was like -3 or -4 downvotes, so in that case I sympathize with this posts sentiment
Seems like in the end quantity > quality drove the choice. I for sure knew several posters you took advice from had not even been in a relationship before.
But if I also recall, you nexted your girl before posting about it at all. Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you soft next her before reaching out the community? Thus giving the community her behaviors to work with that already looked bad?
I agree that guys who never had an LTR shouldn't have been chiming in on those posts but at the end of the day you chose to break it off and try to be alpha.
Additionally you suspected she started fucking a drug dealer after you broke up. Doesn't sound like wife material to mw if she was.
And she's 22, party years. I don't know how much longer it would have stayed an LTR even if you had done everything perfectly.
I think part of your problem here is that you have a happily ever after in your head had it not gone south and you simply don't know that that would have ever been the case. Maybe it would have but it seems unlikely she was ever gonna be wide material at 22 simply because she was 22.
Maybe at age 26/27 I'd be saying something different but I see how these 21/22 yo girls act, they're trying to live it up. Maybe that wasn't your girl but any time a guy says is LTR is 18-24 I instantly cringe at the long term survivability of the relationship just because they are young.
I wish you the best but I think some of your grief and contribution for how your LTR ended is misplaced
bymxco 1y ago
Yeah I mainly took your advice. That’s not the one I was complaining about. The others advice I took led me to the soft next and the 1st break up prior (which was weeks before). We have been talking and She’s in another relationship now. She posted a photo of her with some guys on social media and they took a photo. He’s a beta provider to me. She’s looking for a relationship and found one. I don’t like to be a hater but this guy at least physically is a big downgrade and has a beta nice guy aura in the photos (I’ve lived long enough to realize generally what I’m seeing here). There’s a 2% chance my judgment of him is wrong but I really believe he’s a downgrade to the general societys opinion. I’m 200lbs gym physique and he’s the classic 5’10 160lb skinny dude NPC face with no style (clothing) who probably hits all the beta boxes as far as a safe relationship goes
She said she wanted more commitment from me. I felt it was an honest answer from her.
P.S. I guess the drug dealer guy was a rebound or something. Because the guy she’s in a relationship with isn’t him clearly.
I’m debating “winning” her back or letting her go. It seems she wants me to win her back , moreso trying to tell me to fuck off and leave her alone
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
I see
She's taken right now. And if this guy is a downgrade she probably did want more commitment. May have been a genuine response given how the ltr broke down
But let her go. She's taken. I still think her being 22 was not great. Her communication skills were also not astounding. Do you want someone that struggles to communicate during lows?
Yes this situation sucks but it is what it is. You learned a valuable lesson. Imagine if you had been married instead.
You're still young and still have time to find what you want out there
bymxco 1y ago
Yeah they weren’t very good. But as I said in my post, every LTR has cons. Her pro’s outweighed them.
One of my most red pilled friends in real life is telling me she wants me back, but I can’t just tell her that “I changed” I have to show her. He told me at this point, there is no choice but to show up to her house with flowers look her in her face and tell her how I feel with conviction. I laughed but he was serious. He said if this girl was serious future wife material I need to do that before walking away for good, that way I know I’ve tried everything.
He told me she was pushing for more commitment with me but I can’t just say it over text. Especially considering HOW we broke up.
He is very red pilled but I was surprised and he said it’s not simping as long as I really believe she could be wife material, any other case it would be. And that guys do this shit all the time usually in secrecy, out of shame, but it works he claimed
He said the other guy was a non-factor and that I wasn’t showing any action. Just all talk. And that this situation calls for a grand gesture to win her back
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
That sounds beta as fuck
What actual signs of wanting to be with you did this man see?
I would ask him some serious questions because otherwise he's full of shit
I think you ought to move on at this point. She's already been with 2 guys and is official with one right now it seems. You really want a monkey brancher even if she takes you back?
Unless you're dead sure she wants you back don't even bother. Even if she did this sounds like a shitty arrangement
bymxco 1y ago
I showed him our conversations (post break up). I didn’t write it in the post but she said she loved me and wanted to be more serious, she said when we dated she wanted more commitment. He said that was a sign she wants me to offer her more commitment and she wouldn’t even be having this Convo with me if she loved the guy she was with currently. She’s basically having this entire convo with me behind her current bf’s back (I strongly doubt she is showing him it).
She didn’t monkey branch. The drug dealer was a rebound I assume and the relationship is maybe a month old max. I would never take back a monkey brancher.
He was saying she wanted to monkey branch with me but I need to show her more commitment
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
I don't know how you're gonna show her "more commitment" while she's literally committed to another man.
This situation sounds like shit and she couldn't express any of that to you post break-up? I don't know how serious she is.
This all sounds like a headache to me.
Do what you feel needs to be done to move past this. It doesn't sound like you are able to just let go of it by talking it out with anyone or processing it, it almost sounds like you are gonna have to see it through to the very end to move on
I'd recommend you just keep living your life and increasing your smv so that when her current beta crashes and burns she'll be si gle again and having to think about things.
There's almost nothing more beta than pining for her love while she's committed to someone else
bymxco 1y ago
She told me all of this post break up. To clarify when we were talking just last week (we have been separated for approx 4 months by now). She told me just last week she loved me and wanted a more committed relationship, she thought I only wanted sex with her (we were exclusive though). This was not a convo we ever spoke about when we were together. She never told me back then I wasn’t committed enough. Again a sign of bad communication on her end. She has bad communication issues and could’ve told me this when we were together but finally admitted it last week.
Is she really committed to him if she’s talking with her ex?
It’s not pining, it’s more of showing her I’m actually committed this time, right? She basically said I was a fuckboy.
I can be delusional or hamstring but I feel this is still a rebound relationship and she wants me to show her I’m more committed this time before branch swinging back. Based off our history she thinks I’m a fuckboy that dumped her twice. So she’s cautious and wary of my “sweet talking”.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
I literally don't know how you're gonna show her any of this while she is with another man.
This was something you should have showed her when you were with her.
It's hard to buy an item off the shelf when it's already in another man's shopping cart and he's already taken it home
bymxco 1y ago
I understand. That’s why he told me to show up to her house with flowers
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Yeah, don't
lonewolf1 1y ago
Don't forget to bring your balls wrapped up in a pretty box combined with the flowers.
And tell your "red pill" buddy to sign up on here, he needs more advice than you do.
craftsmanmindset 1y ago
yeah LTR's are different, you have to be more giving in these types of situations, and more 'lovey dovey" rather than the alpha-male masculine frame that these redpillers suggest.
lonewolf1 1y ago
The moment you start crawling to her, will put you forever in her frame. For eternity you will be the one who peddled back and lost frame.
You will never have any leverage. She wants you to crack and give her full control after your "misstep".
Now listen to me closely, I have seen a lot and, you can take my advice or leave it.
The only way this can work out in your favor is if she enters your frame and wants to try again, means she drops all resentments and asks for a fresh start.
Let her do her thing, while you ice the contact. It can take a year or two, but you gotta stay leveling up and make her understand you won't bend your knee for her.
She either sees your value or not.
LewisWood 1y ago
thanks guys
Intrepid_Place53900 1y ago
Don't blame TRP for your "misunderstanding" of it.
You went nuclear on a girl who was doing everything right, except one little jealousy night in your words
TRP actually tells you not to go nuclear.
You set boundaries of respect and expectations.
When she is a bit bitchy, minor issues, you remove attention, you DON"T go nuclear.
You then wait for her to give you comfort tests, etc and go from there.
You only go nuclear on a girl who's (mostly great) , unless she's giving you major disrespect, it's a pattern, or she cheated,etc. At that point, she's not a golden girl anymore anyway.
TRP is actually most important in a relationship, not just for ONS which are much easier to attract a girl for a night, than keeping her long term. Well, looks are the biggest part of ONS of course.
Yes, you should be cautious with advice (ANYWHERE about ANYTHING).
Listen to it, think about it and see if it makes sense,etc.
Yes, you are in a tough spot, you are correct, guys don't dump a good girl over a minor mishap. If she's a girl with a good head on her shoulders, she knows this too. She's lost a lot of trust in you, if you do this to me after I've been great, then I don't mean anything I guess, is what she's thinking.
If you really want her back.
give her a talk, tell her you've had some pressure with work or something, make it believeable,etc, and you took it out on her. Apologize for it. Explain to her where she fits in your head regarding women.
If after that, she doesn't take you back, then she's already moved on, nothing you can do.
SeasonedRP 1y ago
If you've been with 70 women, why did you ask for and follow advice from random people on the internet?
mattyanon Admin 1y ago
We saved your sorry blue ass from the divorecraping of your life.
You are not ready for a LTR and you do not undertand women.
Johndoe 1y ago
Damn straight fax