This is an update from my last post. Found out my girlfriend has been texting her ex. He contacted her out the blue for the first time since breaking up.
Background: He reached out to talk, she rejected him and told him she had someone now, but also said "how did things end this way". She resisted at first, but opened up more and more, having a very emotional convo with him. Theres too much to post, so I will skip to the part that really worries me.
They were talking very in-depth about their past relationship, she was emotional sending puppy eye emojies, she seemed to be encouraging him and told him she loved being with him and what not he was selfish and things like that. He was basically sweet talking her back.
She basically told him that he just wanted fun and nothing serious, she wanted something true and then eventually she told him "I wanted to have a stable relationship with you" and he told her how he took her for granted and can understand why she felt that way. She said "I just thought thats all you wanted and nothing more with me".
Its just the whole "I wanted a secure relationship with you" that gives me chills. It seems like they are either laying the groundwork for a "better" relationship and trying to be on the same page, or that she is trying to see if he can get him to commit more to her, before she considers taking him back. Apparently he was not very committed in the past, or at least as much as she wanted him to be. I just dont see why she would bring that up otherwise.
Is she prepping for a monkey branch?
unplugged69 3y ago Stickied
She is not monkey branching in the normal sense, she's been Alpha widowed and going back to the Alpha. I covered this in my old post. Here's the question bro, I want you to tell us what you think the right course of action is. We could give you the answer but I think it would be better if it was coming from you
redpillschool Admin 3y ago
+1 this is the correct reply
Bagpipes 3y ago
Yes, the thing is that he tried to meet up in person but she rejected him. So she hasnt "gone back to the alpha" yet. Told him she had someone now. That was basically the first exchange between them, before the emotional convo. I guess Im still in denial and holding out hopes that she is getting closure out of this or maybe an ego boost.
I mean, what are the chances its just validation or whatever? She technically did not meet up with him, or say yes. Thats really all Im focusing on. I still need to see how this plays out before I take swift action on it. But I want to see if its validation or negotiating a new relationship
Intrepid_Place53900 1 3y ago
Are you 2 committed?
If yes, she's breaking the rules man. She's having an emotional relationship, not just with someone, but an ex.
If no, she's keeping her options open, but you aren't exclusive so, just keep having fun with her, she's a plate.
What is she doing, could be several things. But, keep this 100% clear. If she was totally over the guy, she wouldn't be interacting with him. that is 100% Truth and really the only thing to keep in mind here.
So, she's keeping options open. Will he try to win my back, does he really want to commit to me? Whatever. doesn't really matter what she's thinking other than she's still keeping this guy on the side. If you are exclusive , she's not really keeping her end.
unplugged69 3y ago
Yes you are hamstering and trying to justify her behaviour. Look you decide what you're willing to put up with, but here's my question to you. Why are you still with her? Why are you waiting around to see how much she's willing to cheat with her ex-alpha who was a jerk and fucked her hard and discarded her?
The answer is scarcity. If you were in front of me right now with your emotionally cheating GF and I said hey you can stay with this whore who may or may not fuck her ex chad in the next two weeks when you're out of town, OR you can have this amazing 10/10 girl right now who loves you. What would you say?
You see, the answer is scarcity, you're only with this one because you think you don't deserve better or you can't get better. Snap out of it, I know you can do better. We are a brotherhood here and we support eachother and encourage eachother to dream bigger. You think the first caveman ever dreamed of walking on the moon? Well we could fucking do it, we can achieve so much but we are beaten down and told we suck by women and society.
Scoring another chick is nothing compared to going from sticks and stones to space ships, remember that!
Bagpipes 3y ago
OK I guess I have one last question. I was thinking about this the other night
Given the context of their conversation, has she "secured" the other branch? Verbally of course. I dont think they have hung out. Im just curious if their conversation is enough assurance for her to swing over, or if thats only done if they secretly hook up behind my back a few times and then do so.
I am asking because I am on the lookout for "branch swinging" behavioral changes from her. But im not sure if she has technically "gripped" his branch yet. Im not sure.
My plan is to check on their conversation the next week or two. Once I see the signs I will call her out. If I dont see them or any continued dialogue, I will assume nothing has happened as far as actual cheating goes.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 3y ago
dude, it doesn't matter if she has "secured" the branch or not. She's investigating it. At that point, what does it matter. You aren't the alpha, she's still looking for him.
That's, all that matters here.
Axlerod9999 3y ago
You are such a beta. Why are you even here asking for advice if you are going to do what you want to anyway. It's like banging your head on the wall with you.
Listen up, she's emotionally cheating. She doesn't think you are the best she can do. She possibly thinks the previous guy was a better catch. If it's not this guy it will be someone else she fucks you over for. No gf of yours should be chitchatting with hookups or exs. She might even come clean to you to preserve her ego that she's not a cheater but you should zone in on the only fact which is "she shouldnt even be talking to him unnecessarily let alone planning to meet".
[deleted]
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
Dude, that would make me sick to my stomach. I know I recommended snooping a bit more for clarity but I think now you have a more solid answer. She isn't your girl when it REALLY comes down to it.
If you want to get in some final good goodbye pumps and see the end of that convo over the next week for your own closure to see how deep the rabbit hole goes, that's your call, but it's gonna sting
Either way, you should end it sooner than later. If it'll bug you more to end it before a couple more closure snoops then wait a few nights but she's defiling your relationship
marduhhhy 3y ago
Facts bro ! get in a couple fucks and be ready to dust off the ol game ! SHE IS FOR THE STREETS ….. best case scenario shell recognize that shes an idiot for entertaining the idea of a relationshit with her ex . and regret everything and still want to fuck you but u dont have to if u dont want to .
unplugged69 3y ago
Indeed if you need more redpilling just occasionally snoop at your girl's texsts. I know we recommend NOT to snoop but that's because guys can get obsessive with that shit, however checking occasionally is good medicine to remind you they are not to be trusted
Nolimitcurry_ 3y ago
Demote and go find another bitch ; bruh u gotta keep this shit
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
Yes. She's saying "I want you back so long as you promise to fix all the problems".
The "you just want fun and nothing serious" is a challenge to him to offer to fix that problem.
It's a form of negotiation that means the girl doesn't feel vulnerable.
She's talking to him about this shit, so she's negotiating to get him back.
Sorry, it sucks, but you gotta cut this one off.
Bagpipes 3y ago
I want to see this play out. Its very fucking alarming to me, but I dont think its solid cheating until she agrees to meet up. She technically rejected his offer to meet up. However that was before they had an emotional convo and the "negotiation". I will have to follow up on this within a week or so and see what else was exchanged before cutting her off for good.
Put it this way, he asked to meet up, she said no. They had a questionable conversation, bordering negotiating a new relationship. Is he just going to ask to meet up with her one more time and she'll say yes, or is he going to just kiss her ass and sweet talk her and get nothing out of it but boosting her ego. I just dont see how he closes the "deal" after her saying no already.
Axlerod9999 3y ago
Are you really a man? Or a pubescent teenage girl. Why do you want to know the juicy gossip. You should watch day time tv ie Maury if you are into that shit. She's negotiating. That's a red line. Even if she's just doing it for the ego, she's emotionally invested in him. All he needs is for you to make one false move and him showing his vulnerable side and she's going to meet him. End of story
financehardo420 3y ago
See you in the gym bro
bonus813 3y ago
It was your turn. Now it’s his (again). Did you have fun?
She has had withdrawals for his cock and seed lmao
Axlerod9999 3y ago
You might allow it to play out. Maybe they'll have a falling out over it. Women say a lot of dumb shit but sometimes dont act on it. MAybe he will back off becaus eof the commitment issues. She maybe just using him for validation. Soothing her own bruised ego. But remember since shes entertaining her ex or any other guy in a relationship or date like situation, she's a woman of low moral values.