I read sidebar for reinforcement/reminder and I didn't remember this story. But its a good reminder of.how.crushed you can get.
Find it in ASK.TRP sidebar PDF for better formatting
Page 233 of 389 Background: I was 21, 6’1”, 210lb and I’d just returned to the states after studying, working and boxing in the Far East. I would bed different girls every night with no effort (tall, fit, and confident in the east kills), I’d had my first threesome, foursome, I’d been swinging (partner swap), went to a fetish hotel on occasion (“Love Hotels”, as they often call them, are kinky yet lavish suites usually built around popular night spots. Really convenient.) I had come back with the biggest ego imaginable. I’d walk up to girls after classes like it was nothing and bed them that night, the same type of girls I’d never get attention from before my trip. Life was great and I was deluded into thinking I was in my prime. I was a beta in alpha’s clothing. Then Chad Thundercock became my roommate. The first true Chad Thundercock I had ever met. Let’s name him D. Now, I knew that I was attractive at the time (I’d easily have given myself a 8.5) but THIS guy blew me out of the water. He was almost literally a cleaner, fitter, more interesting, more socially inept version of me. He played football in high school, was greek (but didn’t use that as a crutch i.e. never told women about it unless he was pressed) and truly DNGAF about what people thought about him (especially women). He was 25 and a grad student in a special program our college offered. He came late in the year due to family issues, so my apartment was the only one available (I came late in the yer too due to traveling). Before meeting D, I’d seen game, I’d seen charisma, I’d seen PUA, but I’d never seen anything like what this guy would accomplish in one night. D was new to the area, so he would come out with me and my beta pack and go out to clubs. We’d watch him successfully make out three different girls in the same proximity, take home and fuck a fourth, then he’d bed the other three throughout the week between classes. He’d go to the gym, see a girl he liked, talk to her for 15 minutes, bang her in the handicapped bathroom, then come work out with us like it was nothing. D would invite the two girls over to play PlayStation, take one to the bedroom, smash her, she’d leave and then he’d smash the one he left waiting. D had banged two of my friends GFs on multiple occasions (he had oneitis for this HB9 and he was super weak, so he “forgave” her and D and we all continued to hang out. D and the GF continued banging, they just got better at not getting caught). This is where it gets bad. Cubic v. Diamond: I had a TON of plates before D moved in. I thought, “yeah, D’s got game or whatever, by he’s no OmLaLa. OmLaLa is a legend at this school”. I got cocky/jealous, so I tried to compete. Bad, bad move. Bad, bad, bad move. I was waaay the fuck out of my league. On average, this guy would bring home 8s and 9s consistently (almost daily, thank god our apartment was big) while I would bring home 6s and 7s if I was lucky. At first, we would go to a party and attempt to bring home the same girl and I’d always lose OR think it was a sure thing until right at the end of the party where I’d catch her leaving hand-in-hand with D. I’d successfully bring the girl ALL THE WAY TO THE LIVING ROOM and he would stroll in, sit down at the other end of the room, not say a word and SOME FUCKING HOW get her to follow her to his room on eye contact alone. Women I really wanted he’d fuck in the living room so I’d have to walk by them to get to class in the morning. I’ll never forget the day I walk past them both fucking on my coffee table while eating toast and watching the news. Fucking toast. (To those that say ‘OmLaLa you pussy faggot, why the fuck didn’t you move out?” Trust me, I tried. The leasing office wasn’t having it without some legal recourse that I couldn’t afford.) And to make matters worse, because he had such an IDGAF attitude about it all, he would inadvertently steel plates from right in front of me. One of which was Sarah. Sarah the Unicorn: There was one girl (we’ll call Sarah, because Sarah is my default woman name) I met at a soror party and we really hit it off. Sarah was a solid 8, thin, pretty, down-to-earth, mixed (Black and Asian I think), big tits, and we liked all of the same things. We exchanged numbers and would talk for the next couple of weeks working towards a LTR. Now, although I played alpha on the outside, I was still just a beta. I began getting heavy feelings for this girl thinking she could be the one. I had oneitis bad; I’d blow up her phone, send her gooey emotional bull crap and talk about how much I cherished our time together (ALL before actually fucking, mind you). I’d buy her things, take her places, pay for everything, etc. OmLaLa I just had one rule: she could never come to my apartment and she could never meet D. “Whose D?” she would often ask. “Oh, just my roommate. He’s a jerk.” I’d vaguely explain. At this point I’d been so emasculated, simply knowing what would inevitably happen if I invited her over. I’d lost so many plates by this point (only the loyal ones remained) that insecurity began to set in, making me even more beta that normal. And she smelt it on me like bad cologne. We’d talk less frequently, she’d flake, something came up, test got rescheduled, you know the deal. Then, that fateful day occurred. D was out a some frat party one night and I thought now was the time to finally fuck Sarah. It’d been weeks and I felt the time was right. I eagerly hit her put inviting her over to watch a movie and order some pizza. “I’ve got an exam tomorrow morning, so I think I’m calling it at night.” She replied. I was pissed, but I forgot, forgave, said some weak shit like “whenever you’re ready I’ll be here waiting ;-)” and went to sleep. I woke up to D drunkenly fumbling with the door around 3 AM. Big surprise, I heard him and some chick giggling in the living room. I normally don’t think anything of it, but this was different. I recognized her voice. It was Sarah. I saw red. I busted out of my bed room and began yelling at her. I don’t remember the exact words, something like “how could you”, “why would you do this to me”, you know, beta shit. She responded with this cold indifferent glare I can’t to this day forget. Sarah said, “You never told me which D, I didn’t know D was your roommate, I’m not your girlfriend, I want to fuck him so why does it matter?” She then took him by the hand, went in his room and fucked. Loudly. That was the end of what security or manhood I had left. I was broken. If only that was the end of it. Bridget the Little Plate That Could: I hated D, I hated Sarah, I hated everything and everyone. I validated through women at the time and now all validation was out the window. I was at the lowest of the low version of beta imaginable. This’ll be important in a minute. D, realizing that he might’ve taken it too far, wanted to make amends (shocker, honestly). He agreed to two things: 1) he would rarely girl back and just stay at their place and 2) would be a surprise. I was too apathetic to care at this point so I just brushed it aside. One the last day of my finals, I came stumbling into my apartment after a night of binge drinking (came this close to becoming an alcoholic over this shit. The other Chad I met after all of this really saved my ass). D was out somewhere and didn’t care to do anything else that night, so I went to bed. And there she was. Naked. Sleeping. In my bed. Mother fucking HB9 Bridget. I don’t know how to describe how she looked, so just imagine what you’re version of an HB9 would look like. Now granted, I was at a pretty low point then, so she may have actually been an HB6.5, but semantics. She was for a popular sorority on campus and I’d seen her in passing before, but never expected this. “I thought you’d never get home.” She’d whisper. “I’ve been waiting all this time.” I want to tell you all that I jumped in the bed and fucked her brains out that night, but I couldn’t. Just knowing that D had coaxed some girl to sit here and wait for me made me sick. It made me sick that someone ran game for me. She wasn’t here for me, because she liked me, or even wanted to be. She was here because in her mind, if she fucked me D would validate her. That’s went I woke up. I began to understand what was really at play here. It took month of agonizing mental and emotional torture but it all began to make sense. This was my first glimpse at the RP way. But, as beta as I was (it was really fucking pathetic), I drunkenly fell asleep on the floor. I woke up, she was gone, I packed my things the next day, and moved in with my beta pack (40 minute commute to class, but I could take it another day). I told my beta pack my story and they gladly let me stay for free (I had to keep paying on the lease and my job paid for shit). TL;DRD the one true Chad Thundercock fucks his plates, fucks my plates, fucks my unicorn, fucks my friends’ unicorns, fucks half the girls on our damn campus, and fucks a damn plate on my favorite coffee table while eating my toast. My fucking toast. Tries to reconcile with a naked co-ed peace offering that teaches me the beginnings of RP. Epilogue: I tell this story online to total strangers for your benefit and mine. You’ll say I was pathetic, you’ll say I was an idiot, and I’ll agree with you. But the thing I take away from this is that’s not me now. I’ve held onto this story for so long and it’s been such a burden on my psyche that just by posting this I feel a he weight lift off of my shoulders. By posting this, I can’t truly come to terms with how beta I was and how alpha I can become. If you take anything away from all this, let this be a lesson that unicorns are a myth, oneitis is a bitch, MGTOW, AWALT, don’t judge your value on