I feel horrible for saying this but it took me years to realise my dad is a bit of a pussy. He is a good man who has good morals and has provided me with a good life growing up. He is smart and a good person. He is a nice guy.
But as i got older, i realised he is a pussy. He never has a strong opinion on anything. He is very passive and enabling. It took me years to realise but my mum is a piece of shit who disrespects him constantly and puts him down. I used to think this was normal but now as i got older i realised this isn't normal. Or is it? Does your mum belittle, put down your dad and disrespect him? I remember my mum even signed up to a dating site "just to have a look" a few years ago and my dad was so passive about it.
I watch andrew tate talk about his father and how alpha he was and he was a hero. My dad is nothing like that. My dad is very 'diplomatic' and non confrontational. He has such a weak spine.He is always so scared to say anythinmg that would annoy people, hell even with me he is scared to approach me for help or anythng its cringe. Like my OWN dad is scaredto ask me or tell me to do something. I think this has lead me to growing up a bit of a pussy myself or not really knowing how to be a man. I also dated girls who were like my mum who walked all over me but realised this was wrong and i think i know why as i learnt it off my parents.
is my dad that bad? or am i being too judgemental? How can I learn to be a man?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
My dad wasn't a pussy but he was inexperienced and married my mom, who turned him down three times before they started to date way back when they first met.
While he wasn't a pussy, he was never able to teach me a damn thing about women. He locked down one of the first women who ever really dated him and it had lasting consequence on my upbringing.
My mom sets all of the house rules, she doesn't let my dad have sports parties, she just made my dad sell his three-wheeler and a good RV just because a guy who normally drives like shit fell off a motorcycle and broke bones on a camping trip they all went to
Now that I type more of this maybe my dad is a bit of a pussy. But yeah, despite how much my dad has given me a solid middle-class upbringing he never taught me how to be a man and the lack of instruction I received as I failed with women time and time again really mentally fucked me up.
My dad was always enraged at the smallest shit when I was a kid and he probably contributed to how reactive I am. He definitely didn't have frame and I still don't think he does.
He is a CEO of his own business right now but besides that he really doesn't have much frame. The people around him clearly like what they can derive from him, I don't think he has any real friends.
So yeah.
He's not a bad person but bad as in letting himself be a doormat, yeah he is. Could be a lot worse though. I've definitely seen far worse in my friend's dads to the point it was actually sad and pitiful.
If it has predictably affected your life in negative ways then no. You're not being judgemental. When reality hits it hits. You feel conflicted about your emotions because we're supposed to respect our parents in society but obviously his lack of instruction for you has hurt.
From the content on here, other prominent TRP figures, and of course by men in your life that can be good role models of what man is
whytehorse2021 1y ago
Dude! Me and @IBelieveInTheFallen need jobs. Have your dad hook us up and we'll help him with his frame.
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whytehorse2021 1y ago
I can be VP of Sales of dildos to fat Karens. How about you?
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whytehorse2021 1y ago
Alright we'll put you on inbound sales calls talking to Karens all day and helping them select dildos. "Let me speak to your manager" and then send the call to the CEO, lol.
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Hanscheezburger 1y ago
interesting input, thanks for sharing it.
My father was not a pussy, in fact he always tried to assert his authority, since he's the oldest kid among 10 siblings and had to work hard since a young age to support his family.
I do relate to this aspect. Don't know if it's a common thing among fathers.
My father was one of those dads who would never show approval for anything I do. Always criticize and point out mistakes. Any opinion I have he will say it's wrong: he was very anti-Trump in 2015, I said Trump's not as bad as the media made him out to be, he would get angry about it. Funny enough by 2016, he became a big Trump supporter. He would also talk badly about me in front of his friends, example: "Hans doesn't know how to plant a tree, he's the typical city boy." or "Hans does not know how society works, he's too sheltered.".
One time I told him: "But you were the one who raised me and supposed to teach me that, doesn't it mean this is your fault how I turned out?" - then he flipped and we got into an angry argument.
I feel like my years growing up were trying to win his approval, and it contributed to my clinginess and neediness. So probably I do have some kinds of daddy issue. Our relationship got better once I moved out and we don't see each other as much though
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Hanscheezburger 1y ago
I wouldn't say he's 100% narcissistic. From what I know of him he only has some traits, mainly having a high opinion of himself and his authority. Otherwise he's pretty down to earth. I think he's treating me the same way he treated his younger siblings. But again, I don't know my father enough since his attitude always kept me at a distance from him. Lately I've been trying to talk to him more though, mainly about his younger years and how many girlfriends he had haha (He had a few understandably)
LolTroll11 1y ago
I am going to report you for identity theft.
fumbor 1y ago
That’s interesting. My dad is just like Tate, minus the “show” that Tate puts on. He’s been spitting the same wisdom since I was a kid. I am lucky to have really great parents.
whytehorse2021 1y ago
I don't think it's the fault of older men that they got tricked into playing by the old rules while women changed the rules. My father would be considered blue pilled and low value despite having fought in a war, masters in engineering, state wrestling champ, six pack, impeccable finances, loyal, good father... basically Ward Cleaver. It's a good frame for 1950 but you'll get walked all over nowadays by modern women.
He taught me all the blue pill horse shit about how to treat women and I got taken advantage of until I yeeted modern women and got a traditional conservative woman who plays by the old rules. I fell into the oneitis and got betatization through a thousand concessions but my wife was pretty chill about it.
Anyway, at some point I discovered the temple of the jedi order and they taught me almost the same stuff as red pill: work out, learn a combat sport, get on your purpose, etc. I never could get on with them though because it was still plugged into the old blue pill ways and lots of women would join and alter it to be some crappy version of red pill. Me and a few other guys were always getting into arguments with betas and white knights until we just left.
Not long after that I discovered red pill on reddit and rejected it at first because it sounded anti-female but it grated on my mind until I dove in and read The Manipulated Male by Esther Vilar. Been here ever since. Decided to leave my wife because she was getting fat and old and wanting to return to her shit hole home town. Since I was leaving her anyway, I started using her to practice red pill theory on a woman. It worked so well I got her to get in shape, do anal, suck my dick, and basically keep my balls drained so I decided not to leave her.
Anyway, are these guys pussies? Not really. They are manipulated men. Perhaps you should give your dad a copy of that book. You can find it online for free as a PDF.
MrSupreme 1y ago
It is a hell of a great little book
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kend 1y ago
My dad is a people pleaser and made me like him, that's why i'm never having kids. I don't want my son to go through what I've been through.
delesseyM 1y ago
No my dad has always been agressive and dominant, he used to be a street fighter or some shit. We are four in total but i have half sisters who I've never seen before but i think they used to be models or winners of miss competitions. Anyway my dad almost never give us money or buy us stuff for daily needs but almost always kept my mom with her bullshit until they got recently divorced. My mom doesn't stop taking about him and the multiple times he cheated on her lol. The funny thing is despite being like that he really loves korean dramas who are blue pilled af and encourages me to marry my girl hahaha. Anyway man not all people have the knowledge we have on our hands so it's not your dad's fault. Be a man for yourself and he may follow you back!