I made a post a few days ago- TLDR of that: I met this girl, we dated, everything went good, she kept opening up conversations on Messenger but was kinda slow to respond.
Well I invited her for drinks a couple of times, kinda flakey reasons like doing overtime at work (we would have got time to see each other even with her doing this overtime but anyway). She did promised we'll see each other, she said she wants to meet. Well I simply call bullshit and I'm sure most of you will agree, she would have easily made time for a date if she was really interested.
I feel like she is stringing me along which to me is disrespectful. And this is the thing that pisses me off. To be fair my hopes with this girl at this point are pretty much nil. I'm slowly stopping giving a fuck which is a good thing.
However I want to give her an ultimatum, just so I can have my closure, so I'm at peace knowing that she was actually acting disrespectful and I'm not just jumping to conclusions Basically I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. How do I give her an ultimatum? Basically saying "we either meet up or each go our separate ways, this has been going on for too long and it's going nowhere".
IBelieveInTheFallen about a year ago
Be prepared for:
“I’m sorry, like I said, I’m really busy with work and school and my dog and my hair and cleaning my toilet once every two years. You’re not the only person telling me this so I get it! I never have any free time, I completely understand so I’m sorry”.
You will feel inclined to keep going because she will make you feel like YOU are the one ending something that could be good, and you’ll keep going until eventually you have an emotional breakdown and she blocks you.
Women like this deserve sleep paralysis every night for the rest of their life.
If I could do it all again with the one who fucked with me like your problem hoe is fucking with you, I’d message her and tell her all the reasons why her ex dumped her ass and why she’ll end up alone.
My advice is to stop with the ultimatums. She will pretend to be reasonable and will make you feel cared about and appreciated while making you feel like she is so sweet and you were wrong not to trust her.
Plain and simple, the girl you are posting about is a cunt and you should not give her an ultimatum. That’s just validating her by knowing that you think so seriously about her.
NeoSpartan about a year ago
This sounds a lot like the first girl I dated last year after I left monk mode.. did actually date her after like a month but she sucked. I don't think girls who keep coming up excuses not to meet are worth it. There's probably something wrong with them that they are hiding.
I think it's a female dating strategy actually, for girls with shit personalities and red flags. They try to lure you in wih well thought out words and niceties and then you meet them and they are completely different. Don't waste your time. You are better off man. And so would OP be if he just tells her something like "I really talking to you cuteness and I think you are very hot but I'm really tired of being single ya know? All this putting things off is starting to get to me unfortunately, tell me you are are free this weekend huh? I really wanna see ya beautiful ;)"
Hanscheezburger about a year ago
fits my latest oneitis to a T. After one last text that went "unseen", I unfriended her and removed her from my life. At least I got laid though, so not that bad
Ti123 about a year ago
I remember once I was so fixated on one because in person she was super. ill do what you are doing but on text leaving me on read for 2 hours with one word responses. Then in middle of those 2 hour breaks in text, I said enjoy your life. And she texted me back in 2 minutes. Left her on read forever. It felt good :)
IBelieveInTheFallen about a year ago
Yeah, idk why they do that. I think they just like the “gOoD VIbEz” that come from convincing someone you care about them, but they aren’t accountable.
2 hours isn’t that long though but if you got the feeling that she was not genuine then maybe she wasn’t.
Ti123 about a year ago
It was more stuff. Don’t remember anymore but just remember the ending
Vermillion-Rx Admin about a year ago
Bro, what the actual fuck are you doing buying what a woman says when her behavior is different than her words? C'mon man.
You already have your closure. She is not seeing you. That's your answer. You don't need closure, she won't see you. If she wanted to see you it would be easy and she'd see you.
You're blinding yourself with false hope. She's not seeing you. It's because she doesn't want to. It hurts to hear but for real man, if she wanted to see you, she'd make it easy and she's not. You're lying to yourself, cut your losses
Rando123 about a year ago
Yeah, honestly deep down I kinda know this... My experience with girls being shit makes it much harder to accept it. Which pisses me off even more.
Vermillion-Rx Admin about a year ago
I don't pretend to know the exact psychological reason women do this shit, because it's counterintuitive and creates infinitely more anger and likelihood a guy will develop a vandetta than just politely rejecting him, but cut the loss.
Delete her number. Delete her off all socials. If she texts you back ignore it like she has denied your desires. Treat her like she's dead.
The sooner you cut off time wasters, the happier you will be in life. I learned that way later than I ought to have. Instead of mentally spinning about girls that won't text back, won't see you, or girls that randomly stop seeing you, your head space will be so much better, which will allow you to acquire new women that WANT to see you.
Do you know how many times I've mentally fixated on a girl that won't budge and it more than likely cost me meeting a dozen new women had I been in a good relaxed vibe? More times than I'd like to have happened.
Cut your losses and you'll get multitudes more women than you would having a mental sinkhole caused by one. All it takes is one bitch to drain your thoughts, thus preventing you from vibing with better, potentially hotter women
IBelieveInTheFallen about a year ago
Tbh, I think that this is a narcissistic trait. I heard a narcissist expert saying that narcissists try to focus on how they appear to people to an extreme extent. I remember thinking that the girl who led me on seemed to only care about how she appeared, long before I heard the narcissist expert say that they care about that to an extreme extent.
Promising someone something that they really want and seeing their reaction makes the one promising feel great, and it makes the one being promised to feel great as well, so the narcissist loves doing this because they can feel like they look good and are good without lifting a finger. And since all they care about is looking good, they don’t care about following through to do right by their victim.
This does make them look bad to their victim, but no one else will blame them or accuse them of doing anything wrong. The only person who will even slightly believe they’re bad people is the victim (if they don’t have stockholm syndrome), and they don’t truly care about the victim’s feelings and I think that they know that the weak victim still trusts them more than people usually trust people who aren’t proving their trustworthiness. So they’re still ahead.
This is just what I’ve concluded, though it may not be right.
whytehorse2021 about a year ago
This is also in the 48 laws of power. Disarming people with charm and then taking advantage of them because they trust you.
coolsocks00 about a year ago
You dont. You're the one who's not reading between the lines. If you want to be angry and hurt because of your shitty social skills that's your choice - or, you can take ownership of your own shortcomings, read the sidebar, and keep improving.
Live a great life. Be attractive. Dont be needy. Employ game. You should end up with so many girls wanting to be with you that you dont have time to answer them all.
Nolimitcurry_ about a year ago
U don’t. Fuck the bitch
rambo123 about a year ago
Dude, just ask her one last time. If she makes up an excuse again, just accept that she may be not interested. She could just be shy to tell you directly that she is not interested. Just accept that.
Based on experience, ultimatums are never good. If they say no, and they probably will, then you give them no choice but to follow up with what they said. So they will be less likely to initiate than if you did not give the ultimatum.
If she refuses to meet up, just next bro.
SeasonedRP about a year ago
Don't waste your time with ultimatums.