I made a post a few days ago- TLDR of that: I met this girl, we dated, everything went good, she kept opening up conversations on Messenger but was kinda slow to respond.
Well I invited her for drinks a couple of times, kinda flakey reasons like doing overtime at work (we would have got time to see each other even with her doing this overtime but anyway). She did promised we'll see each other, she said she wants to meet. Well I simply call bullshit and I'm sure most of you will agree, she would have easily made time for a date if she was really interested.
I feel like she is stringing me along which to me is disrespectful. And this is the thing that pisses me off. To be fair my hopes with this girl at this point are pretty much nil. I'm slowly stopping giving a fuck which is a good thing.
However I want to give her an ultimatum, just so I can have my closure, so I'm at peace knowing that she was actually acting disrespectful and I'm not just jumping to conclusions Basically I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. How do I give her an ultimatum? Basically saying "we either meet up or each go our separate ways, this has been going on for too long and it's going nowhere".
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NeoSpartan 2y ago
This sounds a lot like the first girl I dated last year after I left monk mode.. did actually date her after like a month but she sucked. I don't think girls who keep coming up excuses not to meet are worth it. There's probably something wrong with them that they are hiding.
I think it's a female dating strategy actually, for girls with shit personalities and red flags. They try to lure you in wih well thought out words and niceties and then you meet them and they are completely different. Don't waste your time. You are better off man. And so would OP be if he just tells her something like "I really talking to you cuteness and I think you are very hot but I'm really tired of being single ya know? All this putting things off is starting to get to me unfortunately, tell me you are are free this weekend huh? I really wanna see ya beautiful ;)"
Hanscheezburger 2y ago
fits my latest oneitis to a T. After one last text that went "unseen", I unfriended her and removed her from my life. At least I got laid though, so not that bad
Ti123 2y ago
I remember once I was so fixated on one because in person she was super. ill do what you are doing but on text leaving me on read for 2 hours with one word responses. Then in middle of those 2 hour breaks in text, I said enjoy your life. And she texted me back in 2 minutes. Left her on read forever. It felt good :)
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Ti123 2y ago
It was more stuff. Don’t remember anymore but just remember the ending
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
Bro, what the actual fuck are you doing buying what a woman says when her behavior is different than her words? C'mon man.
You already have your closure. She is not seeing you. That's your answer. You don't need closure, she won't see you. If she wanted to see you it would be easy and she'd see you.
You're blinding yourself with false hope. She's not seeing you. It's because she doesn't want to. It hurts to hear but for real man, if she wanted to see you, she'd make it easy and she's not. You're lying to yourself, cut your losses
Rando123 2y ago
Yeah, honestly deep down I kinda know this... My experience with girls being shit makes it much harder to accept it. Which pisses me off even more.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
I don't pretend to know the exact psychological reason women do this shit, because it's counterintuitive and creates infinitely more anger and likelihood a guy will develop a vandetta than just politely rejecting him, but cut the loss.
Delete her number. Delete her off all socials. If she texts you back ignore it like she has denied your desires. Treat her like she's dead.
The sooner you cut off time wasters, the happier you will be in life. I learned that way later than I ought to have. Instead of mentally spinning about girls that won't text back, won't see you, or girls that randomly stop seeing you, your head space will be so much better, which will allow you to acquire new women that WANT to see you.
Do you know how many times I've mentally fixated on a girl that won't budge and it more than likely cost me meeting a dozen new women had I been in a good relaxed vibe? More times than I'd like to have happened.
Cut your losses and you'll get multitudes more women than you would having a mental sinkhole caused by one. All it takes is one bitch to drain your thoughts, thus preventing you from vibing with better, potentially hotter women
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whytehorse2021 2y ago
This is also in the 48 laws of power. Disarming people with charm and then taking advantage of them because they trust you.
coolsocks00 1 2y ago
You dont. You're the one who's not reading between the lines. If you want to be angry and hurt because of your shitty social skills that's your choice - or, you can take ownership of your own shortcomings, read the sidebar, and keep improving.
Live a great life. Be attractive. Dont be needy. Employ game. You should end up with so many girls wanting to be with you that you dont have time to answer them all.
Nolimitcurry_ 2y ago
U don’t. Fuck the bitch
rambo123 2y ago
Dude, just ask her one last time. If she makes up an excuse again, just accept that she may be not interested. She could just be shy to tell you directly that she is not interested. Just accept that.
Based on experience, ultimatums are never good. If they say no, and they probably will, then you give them no choice but to follow up with what they said. So they will be less likely to initiate than if you did not give the ultimatum.
If she refuses to meet up, just next bro.
SeasonedRP 1 2y ago
Don't waste your time with ultimatums.