As we say to women: your standards are what you attract, not what you want. If you're only getting attention from obese girls then that is your standard. The sexual marketplace has spoken.

So what are your choices:

1. Start fucking fat chicks.
2. Continue your celibacy.
3. Change the factors in your control.
4. Complain until things magically improve.

Now I'm assuming you don't want to do 1 or 2, and 4 is clearly a fucking joke. So how about you do the following:

1. Fix your fat body. You aren't confident because you're probably out of shape. I've never met a man consistently in the gym who isn't confident.

2. Pick a lane with your head. Shave it or rogaine it. But just weeping about it isn't gonna work.

3. Understand that finding sex as a man is on "Veteran" difficulty. Even if you do all these things, you're probably gonna have to settle.

Hey man. You probably need to give some more context if you want tailored advice. Age, job, appearance, lifestyle, time out of the game, etc.

A few questions:

1. What city do you live in
2. how tall are you
3. what is your ethnicity
4. Last time you’ve been to a therapist / psychiatrist
5. Any diagnosed mental health issues?

Sounds like you just need to start learning stuff about intersexual dynamics, identify what got you into this situation, and do what you can to fix it. Read The Rational Male and the sidebar and such.

Oh ur Asian. 2nd bottom on the attractive scale(according to women). Only thing worse is South Asian(Indian). I mean, you could shoot low and do fat Western chicks but why? How do you even work around their FUPA? Honestly, I'd just go to Asia and get a nice, dark farm girl.

Take the obese chick or go to a good barber get your head shaved and if you have beard get that faded. Buy some very good quality threads and go out everyday and socialize with everyone hot girls coolest people you see. Whoever looks interesting. Then actually start asking people out to do stuff. Everything else will fall in place.

First you gotta take out the incel out of your name

daygame till u get sex. for me it took probably at least 1000 approaches to get laid for free and with a girl i liked.

was it worth it?

yes, it was worth it. now i am not afraid of people.

I haven't had sex in years. The last few years have been horrible

Understandable

I've also started losing my hair and have lost so much confidence

Either take steps to prevent further hair loss/thinning (shampoos etc) or shave head.

I have tried dating apps but I only match with fat women

You leave out details, is your profile even good? Every time I look at a guy friend's dating profile when they're not getting any matches their profile is dogshit. They always have too many selfies, at least one or two creep photos, and barely any photos showing they actually have a life

Also, how do you look? Do you look good physically (lifting and style)? Don't expect to match with 7s and above if you yourself are not looking the part. If that's the case, do something about it. And don't blame facial features, you can achieve a good physique and style regardless

Where do I start?

By honestly addressing your problems and obstacles preventing you from banging women.

Are you even going out where women are? That's step one. If you're not even going to places women are, that's a major problem. You can't rely on just dating apps. A good profile requires that you're at least getting good photos, which means you're also going out to even get these photos to begin with

And if you are going to places that have women, are you talking to them, gaming them, risking rejection to try to get what you want?

I get the vibe that you're not really starting to begin with. Gotta start by at least starting