I haven't had sex in years. The last few years have been horrible. I've also started losing my hair and have lost so much confidence. I haven't cared much but lately it's really getting to me. I can't remember the last time I had any kind of sexual interaction with a girl or even a girl look at me. I have tried dating apps but I only match with fat women. My standards are not too high but I can't do obese chicks. Where do I start?
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Problematic_Browser 1 1y ago
As we say to women: your standards are what you attract, not what you want. If you're only getting attention from obese girls then that is your standard. The sexual marketplace has spoken.
So what are your choices:
Now I'm assuming you don't want to do 1 or 2, and 4 is clearly a fucking joke. So how about you do the following:
Fix your fat body. You aren't confident because you're probably out of shape. I've never met a man consistently in the gym who isn't confident.
Pick a lane with your head. Shave it or rogaine it. But just weeping about it isn't gonna work.
WoodstockVintage 1y ago
Hey man. You probably need to give some more context if you want tailored advice. Age, job, appearance, lifestyle, time out of the game, etc.
RebornIncel 1y ago
Age; 30 Job: corporate (average income) mostly males at office who are older married. Appearance: not fat (I go to the gym) Lifestyle: got none. Just work.
NeoSpartan 1y ago
Dating apps are pointless for average dudes, and not that great even for above average dudes, but workable and low time investment. I wouldn't bother with them unless you are at least an 8.
Sounds like you need a lifestyle. For one thing, girls hate hearing about work shit unless your job is interesting so if that's all you got to talk about it's a problem.
For meeting girls, activity groups are good. I myself do dance lessons sometimes but anything that you enjoy that also has females that you find attractive in it will also be good. Also, expanding your social group with the people you befriend there will get you party invites, another good place to meet women.
Alternatively, you could try bars/clubs. Those are good too, especially if you are just looking to bang and don't want anything long term.
You could also try daygame but I know nothing about that so can't proffer any advice.
Bulba 1y ago
A few questions:
RebornIncel 1y ago
Bulba 1y ago
Go to a therapist and book a few sessions. You just want to know if you have any obvious mental health issues.
You didn’t tell me the city so I assume you’re living in a small / medium city. Most girls prefer to date taller guys of similar ethnicity. If you’re a short Asian guy living in the US, that basically means you should move to a major urban area like NYC or LA.
In fact the best thing would be to leave the US altogether and move to Southeast Asia, but moving to NYC or LA would be the second best option.
Of course, you can become so good at game that your height and ethnicity become irrelevant, but just changing your location is easier than becoming an expert at game.
GrassIsGood 1y ago
Sounds like you just need to start learning stuff about intersexual dynamics, identify what got you into this situation, and do what you can to fix it. Read The Rational Male and the sidebar and such.
whytehorse2021 1y ago
Oh ur Asian. 2nd bottom on the attractive scale(according to women). Only thing worse is South Asian(Indian). I mean, you could shoot low and do fat Western chicks but why? How do you even work around their FUPA? Honestly, I'd just go to Asia and get a nice, dark farm girl.
Ti123 1y ago
Take the obese chick or go to a good barber get your head shaved and if you have beard get that faded. Buy some very good quality threads and go out everyday and socialize with everyone hot girls coolest people you see. Whoever looks interesting. Then actually start asking people out to do stuff. Everything else will fall in place.
First you gotta take out the incel out of your name
abitofmemory 1y ago
daygame till u get sex. for me it took probably at least 1000 approaches to get laid for free and with a girl i liked.
was it worth it?
yes, it was worth it. now i am not afraid of people.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Understandable
Either take steps to prevent further hair loss/thinning (shampoos etc) or shave head.
You leave out details, is your profile even good? Every time I look at a guy friend's dating profile when they're not getting any matches their profile is dogshit. They always have too many selfies, at least one or two creep photos, and barely any photos showing they actually have a life
Also, how do you look? Do you look good physically (lifting and style)? Don't expect to match with 7s and above if you yourself are not looking the part. If that's the case, do something about it. And don't blame facial features, you can achieve a good physique and style regardless
By honestly addressing your problems and obstacles preventing you from banging women.
Are you even going out where women are? That's step one. If you're not even going to places women are, that's a major problem. You can't rely on just dating apps. A good profile requires that you're at least getting good photos, which means you're also going out to even get these photos to begin with
And if you are going to places that have women, are you talking to them, gaming them, risking rejection to try to get what you want?
I get the vibe that you're not really starting to begin with. Gotta start by at least starting
mattyanon Admin 1y ago
There is TONNES of info on here and main TRP about what to do.
Main things: