My main frustration with texting is that, even if a girl seems interested in me, I often can't keep up a convo long enough to arrange a meet. Here's what I already know:
- the purpose of texting is to arrange to meet up. It's not chitchat - beating around the bush is how you lose them.
but also
- if you're already on thin ice in terms of her attraction/interest in you, then you have to tread lightly. Sure, if a girl is down to fuck, you can text, "get your ass over here" and she'll giggle and comply. But if she's going to take some convincing, you have to employ some game to up her interest, then you invite her out. I'm usually in that territory.
Finally
- she's getting texts from thirsty guys constantly. So if you don't make a move, you literally drop off her radar just due to scrolling.
With that said, here's the background: met this girl in June. Picked her up in a bar. Seemed into me. We made out in the parking lot - I even got her bra off. She lives close so we go to her place. Pulls my dick out and gives a 2/10 blowjob.
Doesn't finish; wants music; then she wants more alcohol. I'm still taking my clothes off and getting hers off. Does two shots; dancing around - I'm starting to get the picture that she's blackout drunk. Collapses on the bed and literally snores.
So okay, I'm not trying to catch a rape charge. I split.
For the next month, I'm trying to meet up with her so I can finish the deed. She stops responding randomly, or gives me a time, then replies hours later.
I've now given up unless she calls me (she wont) - so, no need to give me that advice - I got it. My question is, could I have salvaged this if I had better text game.
Here are some interactions: Me (day after dropping her off): bet you've got a monster hangover! Nice to meet you though
Her (more than 24 hours later): I'm ok. What are you up to tonight?
Me: I'll probably grab a bite somewhere, but wont stay out late since I work Monday. Where's a good taco place?
(no reply from her)
Me (next Friday): hey are you into blues? I'm meeting some friends later.
Her (immediately): sometimes. where are you goin?
Me: (gives time and place)
(no reply from her - I fucking hate double-texting but I'm optimistic early on)
Me: (sends her a pic of the band)
Her (next day): awesome
(the low-interest and lateness of this response is obvious - I'm looking for a way to salvage this - here's the one where she gave me a time)
Me: (we have some back and forth about hitting the beach at night) I'll pick you up at 6.
Her (immediate response): I'm gonna take a nap
Me (5:45): still on? (looking back at this - it feels like such a fucking weak text)
Her (at 10:45! Ten-fucking-forty-fucking five at night): ugh sorry I really crashed out
(bullshit! I got "better-dealed" and I know it)
So okay, I've cut my losses with this one. What advice can you give?
financehardo420 1y ago
She lost interest; tbh probs from first night.
Only spend your time on birds that are “fuck yes!” ab hanging out w you. These other birds usually just trying to feed their egos n shit.
Lukewarm pussy is mids imo but if you’re gonna ask only way to get her interest is to act completely disinterested. Esp if she’s hot she’s used to dudes simping left n right and giving into her every whim. Gotta stand out - don’t be afraid to say “can’t I’m busy” every time she hits u up. Overtime it just makes her hornier and hornier. Ppl want what they can’t have; basic psych
orbilius 1y ago
yeah. I was in there on the first night. I think I was right to bail. I suppose the best play would have been to neg her in text the next day, then just ignore her for a while.
I guess. Fuck I wish I could repeat this as an experiment.
mattyanon Admin 1y ago
There's zero emotional content, or in girlspeak; "boring".
Don't ask if you're still on..... use a late text to clarify details, eg "where am I picking you up"......
If you arranged everything in advance, change something and leave it open ended...... "can't make 6, are you good for 6.30". The text should leave it such that if she doesn't respond it's obvious it's not happening.
to be fair she told you she was going to sleep, so this might be real
The blues thing was good, piqued her interest and FOMO.
The rest of it was just absolutely nothing.
If you're gonna text, make it interesting........ respond randomly, leave gaps yourself (scrolling off the top is fine, because you'll pop up when you text again)....
If it's not arranging a meetup it should be generating interest/attraction, not trying too hard, keeping in touch, and strongly implying that you have an awesome life and she's missing out. Eg "great band last night, late night this morning, now at work, what you up to?". So you've implied you caught live music, but you glossed over it so quickly she's left wondering.
orbilius 1y ago
All good advice. That's why I come here. The thing about changing something is first rate and I'm gonna try it tomorrow night (different girl obviously).
Oh no, man. We were texting at like noon about a band playing at the beach at 7. I was gonna pick her up at 6 and get us a table and have food. This was a real simp-level date (I admit I was getting thirsty)
If she took a nap, she slept for 10 hours.