Hi guys. It almost feels like nothing has changed since I made my post roughly last year. I have hidden it deep within my system but today I had a mental breakdown. I understand this is ASK TRP, so I’m looking for advice if you have been in a similar situation.
I have had red pill rage for roughly three years straight now. I should have been well past this stage, but beyond all the lifting, kickboxing, and financial success, I am still way behind everybody else. My friends, who are 19, talking about their sexual experiences just completely destroyed me. I did not know how insecure I was about this until it hit me like a truck.
At the end of the day, I have a scarcity mindset which I so eloquently tried to fight. I am battling one-itis for almost just as long now, and it’s lead me to realize that I’ve only been following RP to patch a hole in my heart.
I think I have either some deep rooted issues that prevent me from ever even being close to a woman in any way shape or form; my ego, hatred, and lack of social skills. My dad thought I had autism which I thought was genuinely the dumbest shit ever, but now I’m not so sure.
I feel like I’m twelve years old in the body of a 19 year old. No real life experience. On paper I look good: car, paid off college, works out, well groomed, but none of that is still enough for me to attract a chick.
I am the only one stopping myself from succeeding and it’s throwing me down into a spiral of self hatred and red pill rage. I feel pressured to lose my virginity as soon as possible, because it’s getting to the territory where it’s a major red flag if a dude hasn’t even kissed a girl in his early 20s. I’m just so sick of life at this point. I am terrified of what I can turn into