My previous post will fill in the gaps but basically 2.5 year LTR wanted to eventually live together and try for a baby at some point and I most definitely did NOT want those things. Living together possibly if a prenup was made prior however the baby thing was a definite no go for me.
2.5 years gone. Great sex, decent conversation, experiences that bonded us, experiences that tested us, intimacy, trust built, everything. Gone. All because she had the desire to have a child at some point and I did not.
I visited her last night. Driving to her house I knew that this was the last time. I spent 3 hours with her until I realized neither of us had brought "it" up. I did. We then spoke for 30 minutes and I had to hold back tears because we both agreed we weren't compatible but that we cared about each other dearly which fucking sucks.
I have never felt like this before. I feel like she is still a part of my life and my thoughts. I don't hate her. I want good things for her. But we can't stay together. I know we can't.
How do I move forwards and deal with the pain I am currently feeling?
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
This is going to take a lot of time to process. Yes, it sucks dick that a lot of women NEED a baby. It wasn't 2.5 wasted years though.
Better to have spent a lot of meaningful time with someone you cared about during that time with lots of good sex than to have been incelibate and alone, whishing you had connections
One lesson to take away from this is to definitely figure out if an LTR wants kids soon into the relationship. You didn't waste this time though. You had a good 2.5 years of your life
icore2022 1y ago
Trying to view is like this. Hard. But can only try.
What concerns me is that I think I actually care about her more than I realized. It's not just that I will miss sex but the rest of it too. Idk. I'm probably just hurting myself by thinking this sort of stuff at this point.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
You're going to have a fuck ton of pain before you realize the shit storm you dodged by getting out now.
Imagine hitting the 5 year mark of your relationship instead when her fertility is dwindling and she really pushes for baby fever and possibly convincing you to give in or holding a massive grudge against you for wasting her fertile years
Now imagine getting to the 5 year mark of that after arguing for 2 and a half more years about your incompatibilities.
You made the right -hard but right - choice here. She could have given up wanting a baby and didn't. She chose this path, not you. You didn't owe her 18+ years of sacrificng your savings and loss of freedom to satisfy her wishes, or always having a long lasting relationship arguing with her that you didn't give her that
If you need anyone to talk to for emotional support later you can always DM me.
This shit is gonna suck hard for some time before you start getting excited about being able to now carve a long term path that you actually want and that is actually compatible with your goals
redpillschool Admin 1y ago
Time will help. Also, rebounds help.
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Durek_The_Bald 1y ago
Try not to think of it as "gone" or "wasted time" or whatever. The experience remains, and is valuable. It's good for personal growth to have positive experiences with women, and maybe more so within the constraints of an LTR. You've proven to yourself that you can handle it, keep attraction going, enjoy it yourself, and even go through an amicable split. Not bad at all. Also takes some willpower and discipline to cut your losses over something like this, where things are good, but you just don't have aligning goals for life. I'd say that's indicative of a solid frame.
You did good! Take some pride in that, and be happy you had an experience that's going to make you a more rounded/integrated individual. The feelz will pass with time.
anonc 1y ago
You don't want to have sons? You want death? You want to be the end of a billion-year long chain of life? Or you just didn't like her enough to let her be your mother in the next life?
Yes, you wasted years of your life bonding with a women you don't even want to create life with. You did something incredibly self-destructive, and you are feeling the pain of that. You have done real, permanent damage to yourself. You will get used to the pain, but you will never truly heal.
anonc 1y ago
If you left her because she wasn't good enough, then that sucks. You can love someone and be pair-bonded with them even if they are not good enough. You don't want to be trapped in that, and you need to move on.
However, if your reason for leaving is because you have swallowed bullshit anti-life self-destruction propaganda, then maybe you should actually reconsider your decision.
This is kind of a major turning point in your life man, seriously think this through.
Call your fucking father.
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whytehorse2021 1y ago
What the fuck is wrong with you young men these days? Having kids is part of a normal, happy, healthy life. You're no better than these women who yeet their family because they got bored. You just yeeted your wife and mother of your children so you can spend the rest of your life dating hoes meaninglessly. It may not be too late to change your mind. Otherwise get a dog and die alone .