I have a problem of seeking validation and not being able to ignore people. Like when people threaten to walk away I just want to curl up and chase them back. If someone is talking to me or coming back after disrespecting me in the past to get my help I just can’t help myself but I have to reply and have to help them. I stick noses in other peoples problem and end up taking more and more responsibility. Saying no is just a big hurdle for me and all of this is because I can’t ignore. Ignoring people just feels inhumane to me. Even to the assholes that needs to be ignored. I feel like I’m gonna cause a big hurt and I fold and I let them hurt me instead.
The problem is bad enough that if I know someone in the gym I have to say hi to them. Whether they are talking to someone or not trying to talk to me because they are busy. I feel like I owe them a hi even if that puts me in bad spot. I just feel like owe a lot of things to a lot of people and am just very fearful of hurting people.
But then I suppress so much that at some point I become passive agressive then aggressive with people and end up losing people any ways. Leading to a lot of people around me that could endure that type of stuff.
I want to be a little more clear in my expression by being the way I want to be, by being assertive but it’s hard with my in ability to letting go, and ignoring. It’s complex situation on which I have been contemplating for a long time but being the way I want to be feels like I’ll lose a lot of people. Ignoring feels like I am treating people like shit. I know it’s the one thing I need to be close to what I want to be but don’t know how.
I am not sure how to help myself
coolsocks00 11 months ago
Deeply rooted blue pill conditioning. It's mostly reversable.
You dont need to learn how to ignore people. You need to learn how to respect yourself and how to act in your own best interest, without shame.
Ti123 11 months ago
abitofmemory 11 months ago
imagine that u r a lone anime character who becomes stronger when hurting other people by behaving the way u want. if u dont like anime, think about one of the movie characters
mattyanon 11 months ago
You are insecure.
And you need to learn to let people go, let them be as they are, let them be busy.
Relax and find other solutions to your emotional status quo rather than hounding down every last person that you know. Eg more friends/ better friends.