I am currently suffering the side effects of bad habits during the development of a young brain. My curses are porn, masturbation and video games. These things together with the way the modern world has shaped me and many of my peers, leads us to inceldom and a host of other problems. Its such a fucked up combination. You get addicted to video games, social media and porn and in general instant gratification at such a young age, couple that with bad parents who never sat down their kids and talked about sexuality and you have young bucks like me who just get stuck inside, infront of their computers for basically 90% of their time growing up. When you spend over a decate of almost nil interaction with the opposite sex WHILE your brain gets continuously bombarded by video games, porn and masturbation, it becomes SUCH a strong wiring to only those things that EVERYTHING else doesn't even register at all. Also the porn had become more and more extreme/fetishized where at the end it was predominantly tranny porn and also being too used to my own hand.

Heres how bad i have it rn - i haven't watched porn in 2 weeks and i haven't masturbated or played video games for a week (and this is coming off after a period where i had already reduced usage a lot) and today i decided to visit an escort. I get it up but my brain and dick DONT FEEL A DAMN THING. I don't get any tingles in my dick or in my brain and i cant even come close to cummimg or get fully hard. We tried condom or no condom (blowjob/handjob), kissing and later penetration, and apart from some small glimpses here and there i couldn't feel a damn thing. Its so awful. I think and hope that over time as i stick to full nofap and reduce computer usage as much as possible, i can start unwiring and rewiring to the real deal.

Anyways, i am working on this and becoming more social in real life but being such a hard case, even though i think i have the right mindset now, i have to slowly build up, i still strongly feel the bad programmimg around girls.

Apart from that i am seemingly having some success on a dating app. I have 2 "propect to be dates" matches. I got one of em to say "marry me" and wanting to meet and the other to verbally agree on meeting, both in just 5-6 messages (and i do find them attractive), keeping it short, and now pushing for logistics, but with my dick problem i am feeling less enthusiastic about it, i fear i will not be able to perform :/ Penetration with the whore felt really dull and zero pleasure and even a bit painful as i wasn't fully hard. Maybe fluctuating between 70%-90% strenght? Can't quite perform like that, especially with no pleasure or tingles. Also i think lubrication makes it worse because its even less friction, compared to just my hand (when i used to masturbate i didn't grip too hard but still its more stimulating) and its just different. I know that if i am with a girl i should first and foremost focus on foreplay and try to get her off even before we get to penetration. And i know that i still might get ghosted/flaked on this app but ill try to meet them still in the following days and if not i am still going out.

Anyone went through hard desensitization like me and managed to fix it? Give me hope, lol. I am sticking to nofap/no porn thought.