Well, maybe some people remember me from reddit forums. how many years has been in this community? 3? 4 years? lost count. If you want details of my journey, you can have some looks at my blogs post. Long story short for reminder: I was disabled (you could tell my disability from visual), 150kg, bald, bad dressed. Status now: business owner, 85kg, jacked, good clothing (mistery style really, casual business usually). Not visually disabled anymore. You will not know nor imagine unless i tell you about it.
Started gear a couple of months ago. got a lot of volume and become ripped too (good diet, low doses of stano and dball does miracles, volume plus visible abs). This made me a real alpha, physically speaking. I got a lot of looks, IOI, and on most pictures, i look like a club bouncer (it impressed me how intimidating i'm to normal men now, some can't even have eye contact with me LOL). When i speak, as i work on biz and tech, people get's dumbfounded why my physique doesn't match at all my knowledge and profession (i speak 3 languages as native too).
I get attention from girls, some numbers, IG, but my success rate is still pretty low (truth to be told, i don't try much, i'm more work focused right now). and the thing that i want to discuss here, more than anything, is that the ones that give me attention or i have even a date, they look for my attention and validation, but no sex. Not looking for a relationship at all, just go out, have fun and fuck, simple. But most of the women that reply to my msg, are 6-7, with boyfriends. Or thots looking for attention on IG (happened more than once, that they become friendly at the gym or at a date, even physically, just to take pics with me, so they have other beta's (or physically alphas) drooling for them in their DM's). Recently, one girl invited me into her house. we had dinner, we fuck, 20 min later she tells me her boyfriend was coming in. WTF. It was a set up to find us both. I managed to avoid a conflict by just lying about fixing her computer at 1 AM as the guy was a submissive fat fuck magic card player.
I don't care being used if i get something in return. The idea was to become a fuckboy with status. But i'm getting always trapped in this circle where my image and status is used to get the attention of males with lower status in everything than me (literally, beta's, fat guys, with no real money, or boyfriends / partners that are beta's and have just a normal 9-5 entry level job). And most of them time, i don't get laid. They get a pic for IG or some going out (nothing fancy, i don't do fancy dates anymore) but is till enough to get the attention on their profiles and leave me "chasing them" (quotes why i don't chase them, i pay 0 attention after my initial approach if i didn't get enough kino on the first date, so in the end, the contact just fades away).
So that's the deal. If i show any kind of attention, i get played (agreeing to meet, a pic, or going out already put's me in the situation to potentially lose) and i'm not that alpha to get chicks to come to me by themselves (the other day one girl at a bar invited me a drink, was a solid 6, i would bash, but my bro that night was too drunk and an asshole and i had to get out, couldn't do nothing).
What i could also notice, is that most women are not looking for the most real alpha available, but for an alpha they can manipulate or that they can get what they want from. So, some fake alpha features (big (fat, not ripped), fake tattoos, normal job), but that they can secure, manipulate and that they can get mostly drunk with. Or some beta that pay's for the "Girl's out" and get drunk fucked just by chance in a club. I'm not a fan of clubs, nor i drink, so i can't occupy that place.
Opinions? Plan of action? Help a bro here.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
OLD fucking sucks.
Don't let them take a pic with you.
Avoid IG whores!
Find girls in real life rather than IG which is full of narcissists.
disabledtrp 2y ago
hard to find a girl that is not a IG thot or a narcissist nowadays (that is physically good looking of course). But thanks for the input, you are right.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
You don't find a girl that isn't on IG by searching on IG.
disabledtrp 2y ago
i make cold approach when i have the mood and the chance. my previous statement is still valid.
coolsocks00 1 2y ago
Not the same as being alpha. Alpha is unrelated to looks/money and if you were alpha girls would wanna bang you, simple as that.
So you're not really trying.
Sounds like you're giving your attention way too freely.
Taking care of the money and looks aspect of your SMV will only get you so far. Work on your Game. You want to set a good sexual frame with the girls you meet.
disabledtrp 2y ago
You are right, probably need a better game. but i will need to see how i can improve whiteout getting into the same cycle i get in before. that's what i need to work on.
Boosted_Arrow 2y ago
To what is being alpha related to? What traits would you say does one have?
coolsocks00 1 2y ago
In essence: traits women are sexually aroused by = alpha. Providing for women = beta.
Women will always want to sexually please a man who is highly alpha, so it's clear op doesnt have the right idea of what alpha is.
Being alpha is unrelated to dominance of social hierarchies. It has nothing to do with being a strong leader or having integrity. There are degenerate criminals and drug addicts who are highly alpha and have lots of women willing to fuck them.
Dark triad personality types are generally alpha. As are masculine traits like a strong frame and a DGAF mentality.
Boosted_Arrow 2y ago
True, Social Status can also just be used for provisioning purposes.
But are you sure about the dominance part? Wouldn't a woman wanna see you also dominating other people?
How would you define frame? Everyone seems to have another definition.
coolsocks00 1 2y ago
The point is, that someone very capable and strong in a man's perspective might not be sexy to a woman at all. Men could look at him and go "he's a natural leader, a real alpha male", even if he's got traits that turn women off. They dont judge men entirely the same way we judge men, even if there is overlap.
Rollo points to psychology literature for his definition of frame:
Boosted_Arrow 2y ago
I just came across on one of his essays on his twitter: https://therationalmale.com/2018/10/30/widows-warbrides/
Here he talks about the link between the alpha widow and the warbride dynamic. TL;DR: Even if a man is killed by another one (let's say in war or in a fistfight) and if he has made a solid alpha impression on her, she won't necessarily turn to the other guy. She might even wanna kill him, bc he stole her perfect "hypergamous opportunity".
So this kinda proves your point.
Basically one doesn't need to be 'better' than other guys in order to "get the girl"? (Even though I still think this has some relevance, at least for initial attraction.)
Frame still puzzles me tbh. ..."Mutually acknowledged"...
I know women should wanna get into your frame. That's the good position for you. But what about other ppl? Should they also wanna come into your frame? In a group setting, the dude with "the most frame" wins?
We need more and better material about this.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
I think it's partly your game and partly how women are now. If you're a 10 with a 6 she knows she won't be able to keep you around so she goes for the alpha seed. I've heard field reports from several guys that get to a certain level and the chicks become much more difficult.
You'll need to get better at screening out attention whores. You can also use them for social proof and preselection. Sure, take that girl who wants a photo to the bar and hit on other women. Get a bunch of photos of you with women on IG and hand that out and let them see. Check out the tinder swindler for how to pull it off right.
unplugged69 2y ago
You need to get off the internet. Take up some new hobbies, go to libraries and book stores to find interesting books and interesting women
Expand your social circle, not just women but men too. You need to go out to bars, clubs, cafes, restaurants, gigs, etc without any goals of getting laid. Instead just try to meet new people, get to know the staff, the managers, the regulars, the owner. Improve your conversation skills and make good friends.
This will take a lot of work, just like how you worked on your body. But it will be very worth it and fulfilling in the long run.
You'll meet better women, have better dates, have better LTR prospects and make life long male friends in the process.
Take this from someone who was incredibly autistic and anti-social and a tech guru who found it impossible to connect to others. It is possible, take your coding and analytical and troubleshooting skills and apply them to social settings, you'll be surprised how much information there is if you parse it correctly. If I could do it, so can you.