I've been on the red pill side of the internet for 6 years. Currently early 20s. Been lifting, have a mission, got my first girlfriend from cold approach (several years ago at this point), et cetera.

Unfortunately I'm just not physically attractive enough to get laid with the quality of girls that I want. And I don't mean that in the incel way -- I get laid like once every month or so with tinder from sheer luck (with non hideous girls), which wouldn't happen if I looked like a gargoyle. But it's important to realize your limitations. I often go to the bar with my physically attractive player friends and it's night and day. Girls will walk by and overtly flirt, grab their asses and smile etc. Meanwhile when I hit on girls I hold their attention for 10-15 seconds before my bad vibe throws them off. The obvious answer is that I have shit game which is probably true but I think it's deeper than that.

I think the problem is that I'm wired differently. I've had enough casual sex to know that it's meaningless and doesn't make me happy. So I just don't try. What satisfies me is having a hot feminine girl that I have an emotional connection with. I couldn't care less about fucking another slut named Crystal or Chantel.

Unfortunately in the modern world with the decline of religion and rise of social media these girls (relationship material ones) are so rare that the competition is insane. Feminism has given women way too much power and the top tier girls can have whoever they want meaning they will always go for the bigger fish. It's discouraging. Yeah I could wait until my SMV peaks at 35. Yeah I could move to Jew York City and cold approach for 5 hours a day. But honestly what's the point. If all there is to life is "rising and grinding" and occasionally fucking mediocre pussy while waiting for the embrace of death I may as well kill myself right now.

To bring this back to the title I am in my last year of college. I have concrete plans to radically improve my life after graduation but that's in 4 months. Every day I feel like shit because I'm wired to desire something that is fundamentally unattainable, and my friends get it for free and take it for granted. What are some objective, real world actions that I can take to overcome this mental barrier and improve my quality of life?