I didn't want to make this post. I'm going to TRY to keep it short and sweet: I'm 22 and I'm not well.
I am resentful towards people because I've been excluded from a lot of things my entire life including school, friend groups, gatherings, etc. I get pissed off when a bitch doesn't text me back too soon/at all because I know for a mother fucking fact she's glued to her phone and seen my shit in her notifications. I'm not good enough in her eyes and that fucks me up. My friend group would also exclude me from shit outside of school. Who AM I good for?
I get mad people don't want to be my friend, but will gladly be friends with someone they can leach off of whether that be their social status and who they have connections with. I've seen it a billion times. We can get along perfectly in person whenever I see them, but the second I leave I'm basically dead to them. This is why I don't have many friends to begin with.
I have bad mental problems. I'm not talking about the shit you hear everyone bitching about "depression". I'm talking about OCD that leaves me to basically obsess about my face and face asymmetry. It's a real mental disorder called Body Dysmorphic Disorder and many people who have it end up killing themselves. I'm taking meds for it, but I'm still dealing with it. It affects my confidence even though many I've talked to said I look fine/handsome. I can't look at myself in the mirror sometimes without spirling into a mental breakdown.
A few months ago, I started approaching girls for the first time. I got numbers, but NEVER anything beyond that. I take that as I'm not good enough to fuck her. I guess I'll go home and rub one out to porn. What am I doing wrong?
I know there's SOMEONE in this forum that knows what I'm going through. I hate to admit it, but it feels like my existence is painful. I know this was a tough read and I sounded like a giant whiney faggot with a sob story but I wanted to give you a completely uncensored look into my problems, that way we can come up with solutions. I'm 6'4", white, 205 pounds with 15% body fat and I obviously lift weights. I also go to school. I should have no problem in life but it feels like a black cloud is following me and sabotaging everything.
Thanks.
[deleted] 2y ago
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CharlesBeasley 2y ago
One aspect that has not yet been discussed is the level of oxygen deprivation that occurs when consuming a large bong. The immediate and often intense hit that occurs after exhaling has more to do with your brain not getting enough oxygen than with cannabis.
KoryAtkinson 2y ago
Some devices require maintenance and regular cleaning, while others do not need it at all. If you tend to be more lazy, you should stick to low-maintenance and clean-up consumption methods such as joints, edibles, tinctures, capsules, or topical remedies.
jamifids 2y ago
I recommend trying Granddaddy Purps - https://cannaflower.com/cure-your-cbd-hemp/ . This variety of cannabis is made especially for those who like to relax and unwind alone or with friends.
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User4566 2y ago
That's fantastic but I don't want to rely on gummies or anything.
I'm fine right now, but I was just down really bad when writing this.
nfc66 2y ago
You're extremely young and can literally change everything about yourself and still be young enough to do it again 2-3 times over.
That alone should be giving you enough courage to get up and go get what you want. Friends, girlfriends, whatever.
How's your financial situation? Are you getting decent allowance/ paid or struggling?
User4566 2y ago
Struggling right now, but I'm getting a job later this week.
Before the stock market shit the bed, I had a portfolio of $20k (which made me the Warren Beffet of 20 year old college students) so I was relaxed. Now my portfolio is work about $6k. I kind of hate my life now.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
that sucks, and it happens to a lot of people, me included. But this is YOUR life, not theirs, so do what's best for you.
Yes, but everyone plays that game. You go slow with responses to show abundance. Girls also play that game. What's the alternative, answering every text in 20 seconds and doing nothing else all day?
Yeah, that does really suck. There are women that aren't good enough for you too, so this cuts both ways. You just don't like that someone you like doesn't like you, and that sucks for everyone. Harder for men though, because women judge men more harshly than the reverse.
Sounds like sucky friends.
Most of the people who are excluded and excluded for a reason. Negative attitude, not fun, whining, being a drag on the group, talking too much, being needy, etc. Everyone has to bring something to the table. What are YOU bringing, other than neediness?
Look, this is perfectly fucking normal. People expect you to bring something to the table. Fun, positive, intelligent, insightful, high value, attractive, upbeat, clever, funny, entertaining...... SOMETHING. You are talking about people's choices with their free time....... you don't want to be a charity case, right? So accept people as they are and give them what they want. Don't complain that they don't value you, instead offer something that people actually value. This is YOUR responsibility.
Chances are that this affects your interactions with people, making you need/want something FROM them. People fucking hate this.
Ok.
Women will always be polite to your face: they are fearful and conflict avoidant, which sadly means that getting numbers means nothing. As regards "not good enough to fuck her", this is not true. Women have thousands of offers from men who are more than good enough to fuck her, but she chooses the best from her options and dates in her own way.
Look, I'm plenty "good enough" to fuck half the women I see. But you think I can just go up to her and ask for sex? Of course not. And that's why it's not about "good enough", it's about her being comfortable enough, attracted enough, enjoying my company, missing me, her being single (or single enough), her calendar being free, etc etc. There are a hundred other factors, "good enough" isn't the major factor here.
There isn't the league table you picture where a hot guy will fuck a hot girl, and other guys won't. It's not that simple. If you're slim and somewhat normal looking and have half a brain you can learn to get laid.
Most of this is you tormenting yourself, you know that right?
Honestly yes, and this will affect your relationships with other people.
Take responsibility. Ask "what can I do". Stop feeling sorry for yourself,, be nice and helpful to other people, do what you can do. Mostly you are trying to avoid taking action, trying to avoid pain and feeling sorry for yourself - none of which are productive.
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF.
Be grateful for this, many men would kill to be this tall. This is a major attractive point right there.
This is surprising. If you're that tall and at that weight, I can't see how you can have 15% body fat and good muscles. The single best thing you can do to get girls is to get visible abs, which means losing about 10 lbs. You can do that in a month. It make a huge difference. Try it.
You are self sabotaging by not taking responsibility for yourself.
You also have very low self esteem, which makes you take rejection hard. Instead of "yeah, she's probably busy with her boyfriend" you interpret it as "not good enough". This is an unattractive attitude.
Women test for this attitude, and hate it when they find it. This unfortunately keeps guys like you in a negative spiral, but that's not her problem and she doesn't see it this way. She just FEELS that something is off.
Conversely if you laughed off rejection and didn't take it personally then some of those rejections would turn into acceptances, but you can't see that if you're always so negative on yourself.
So tell me something......what do YOU think is so unattractive about yourself that you believe it so easily? And what are you doing to fix that?
hannulv 2y ago
https://vimeo.com/97370236
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
OP, this is good advice
whytehorse2021 2y ago
oh god that was funny
francthegreat 2y ago
i cant say i have a solution for you since we’re different but your issues sound familiar to me. you can get past it. socially if i have people in my life be it women, friends, family that aren’t reciprocating what i give to them i cut it off. im 30 now and have done this so much so that i barely give anyone any attention at all. avoidant personality if you will. that being said the qualities of a loner still manage to attract people to me. self help books might work for you although i hate them. best advice i can give you is learn to not rely on outside validation. take pride in your fucking self even for small things or stuff you see as imperfections
Toxicking101 2y ago
If you get suicidal over a bitch then you need to do some serious manning up. Go to the gym.
User4566 2y ago
Haha nah man, it's everything that piles on one another. Also, it's multiple bitches. I go to the gym, I even do boxing. That's my only escape.
thedonuts352 2y ago
This needs a longer discussion than I can give. You have a lot to learn yet. You're on the right track with TRP, but your philosophical knowledge is still clearly very limited.
I know little to nothing about you, and I'm not saying that this is the case, but it's possible that due to the luck of the genetic draw, you just aren't attractive to many women. MOST guys aren't. Even if they lift. By definition, guys who are in the highest percentile in terms of attractive traits - looks, height, athletic ability, intellect, etc. - are a small minority. Everyone has to do the best with what they have, and while I don't know your attributes, it's possible you will never be attractive to the majority of attractive young women.
This still isn't a reason to kill yourself. You'll have all of eternity to be dead. Even if you aren't high SMV, life is still worth living, IF you know how to make the best use of the abilities you have.
I have never been high SMV, and the odds are that I never will be, simply for genetic reasons that I can't change. Still, I have SOME talents, and the way I think definitely me a novelty in this world, and I do attract SOME women. I don't approach at all because I hate it and it doesn't work for me. I let them fall into MY orbit. It doesn't happen frequently, but it DOES happen. A few years ago I even pulled a very hot 26 year old. Some guys do that multiple times a day every day, I did it once and I'm fine with that. I still have the mentality that "hypergamy is what brings bitches to me" and when I'm talking to or fucking someone, I treat her like a plate even if I don't have any other plates at the the time. I'm 38 and disabled now, and I attract more women than I did when I was 22 and healthy, but retarded by my current standards. I love working, pursuing goals, and working out, even if I'm not considered top tier or high SVM.
So don't fucking kill yourself - I would kill for the youth and health that you have. Just keep learning and improving yourself. You might have to adjust your expectations, but this doesn't mean getting complacent or soft, it means dealing with reality better, which will make you a lot more successful than you are now. The red pill truth is that not every man, even with TRP knowledge and effort, is going to be a high value man and have beautiful young women throwing themselves at him. Do the best you can with the genetic hand you were dealt. This is your one precious existence before you're dead and gone forever. Make the most of it, even if you have facial asymmetry.
BTW -- getting off these can be difficult, but I don't recommend taking any kind of psychiatric drugs, as I believe they impair your natural emotional mechanism. You must learn to use your mind and deal with life without these agents.
MrSupreme 2y ago
it's a natural phase, that's what the red pill does just get better. You're stating facts like: -People would rather make friends with other who have higher SMV
take it as they come, those are facts and they're just that, detach emotionally from them, learn to keep cool and strengthen your inner game, take it as a lesson, that is all
I know it seems like a terrible thing but guess what, you're pretty young and so have more time and are in a place where growth is promoted by learning game and working on yourself,not just physically (like sports,lifting) but there's also your social skills. Always remember, the name of the game is..well...GAME, and just like a game don't get so upset and try to have fun, specially on the social skills part
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
That means they aren't friends. Those are freeloaders trying to get connected, why do you want anything to do with those people?
You need to get your shit together before approaching women, I'm dead certain they can smell that you've got all of this going on, even if you don't tell them.
They know when they're talking to a confident Chad vs a guy who's internally dead.
It doesn't matter if you should have it easy, your demeanor, or some other subtle tell, or something is repelling women.
Try associating with decent people, all of your posts involve people that don't seem like it's worth associating with them at all.
When I used to feel like a shit about my autism and OCD and bipolar disorder and everything I used to attract terrible people. I took time to myself and worked on the shit bothering me.
I'm now friends with decent people and the girls I date are more decent than they used to be
You've got to take care of you man, everything comes downstream from that
jormigaso 2y ago
read and apply as much as you can about stoicism
whytehorse2021 2y ago
It sounds like you're playing the game "kick me". In this game, you put a sign on your back that says "Please don't kick me". When the inevitable person gets tempted and kicks you you complain that you put up this sign but everybody keeps kicking you.