I didn't want to make this post. I'm going to TRY to keep it short and sweet: I'm 22 and I'm not well.

I am resentful towards people because I've been excluded from a lot of things my entire life including school, friend groups, gatherings, etc. I get pissed off when a bitch doesn't text me back too soon/at all because I know for a mother fucking fact she's glued to her phone and seen my shit in her notifications. I'm not good enough in her eyes and that fucks me up. My friend group would also exclude me from shit outside of school. Who AM I good for?

I get mad people don't want to be my friend, but will gladly be friends with someone they can leach off of whether that be their social status and who they have connections with. I've seen it a billion times. We can get along perfectly in person whenever I see them, but the second I leave I'm basically dead to them. This is why I don't have many friends to begin with.

I have bad mental problems. I'm not talking about the shit you hear everyone bitching about "depression". I'm talking about OCD that leaves me to basically obsess about my face and face asymmetry. It's a real mental disorder called Body Dysmorphic Disorder and many people who have it end up killing themselves. I'm taking meds for it, but I'm still dealing with it. It affects my confidence even though many I've talked to said I look fine/handsome. I can't look at myself in the mirror sometimes without spirling into a mental breakdown.

A few months ago, I started approaching girls for the first time. I got numbers, but NEVER anything beyond that. I take that as I'm not good enough to fuck her. I guess I'll go home and rub one out to porn. What am I doing wrong?

I know there's SOMEONE in this forum that knows what I'm going through. I hate to admit it, but it feels like my existence is painful. I know this was a tough read and I sounded like a giant whiney faggot with a sob story but I wanted to give you a completely uncensored look into my problems, that way we can come up with solutions. I'm 6'4", white, 205 pounds with 15% body fat and I obviously lift weights. I also go to school. I should have no problem in life but it feels like a black cloud is following me and sabotaging everything.

Thanks.